You can call me Dr. Phil

 "Only hang out with people you like. I learned this and it changed my life."

-Emily Haines

Most people think of summer as a time to relax and unwind but, I, on the other hand, seem to always have this crazy notion that I should take summer classes. Needless to say, this makes my summer significantly less exciting especially when the class I'm taking this summer is O chem II. I'm gonna keep it real, it's not really going the greatest. It's not that I'm not trying or anything but I just don't get it.  Every time I'm asked, "How would you perform this synthesis?" I feel like, rather than attempting to bullshit my way through a synthesis, I'd be better off just writing, "I would ask someone who actually understands chemistry to do it."

Last night I actually emerged from my study shell (and by emerged from my study shell, I mean last night was one of the three nights a year when someone was like, "Gee, Joey still exists. Maybe we should call him!") for a while. We were in some rando's backyard and somehow the subject of prom came up. One of my friends mentioned that she didn't enjoy her prom because she didn't really want to spend time with her boyfriend and would have rather gone with her friends.

For some reason, this statement jarred me. I'm no relationship expert, largely because I have yet to find someone who's desperate enough to date me, but I feel like my almost complete degree in psychology and the fact that I passed social psych brings me pretty damn close, right? I've always been of the school of thought that you really shouldn't be dating someone that you don't want to spend time with because you can only have sex for so many hours in a day (and even then, sex as a foundation for a relationship generally doesn't lead to anything stable) and you'll be spending plenty of time with each other so shouldn't you actually look forward to that time?

Apparently, not everyone thinks this way because I know WAY too many people aren't dating someone who they genuinely like outside of the bedroom. I've always said that I don't want to rush into a relationship with someone because I want to have the foundation of a genuine friendship but it seems like too many many people are waaaay to eager to get right into a relationship or each others' pants.

Now, I may be biased in this last statement because of the types of guys I tend to attract. For some reason, the stage 5 clingers are really into me. I don't really know why this is because I have a tendency to make my annoyance very clear but they persist. Maybe I have a musk that tells guys that I like being texted, "Hey, what's up? How are you? What are you thinking? What are you feeling?" three times a day or maybe it's what I get for trying to be nice to most people. Either way, I have a low threshold for that and I quickly lose any mild interest I may have had before.

My point is that people need to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN and take time to get to know each other. Studies have shown that couples who are friends tend to last longer and quite honestly, you didn't need to do an empirical study to tell me that. It seems kind of... duh? The reasoning behind this may be because there are two different kinds of love that play a key role in intimate relationships. The first kind is passionate love, and, as the name suggests, this is the "OMG I WANT TO HUMP YOUR BRAINS OUT!!!!" kind of love. I don't remember the exact length of time but it doesn't exactly last a long period. Like your passion, your relationship will probably fizzle unless there's a strong foundation of companionate love. This is the kind of love where you genuinely care about the other person and what they think, feel, etc. This is the kind of love found in deep friendships and generally lasts a lot longer than passionate love (and actually grows over time). Without it, your relationship will not work for an extended period and I've never seen the point of getting into a relationship I knew would fail.

To sum things up, if you find someone that you're interested in dating, take the time to actually get to know them. You'll be glad you did because in the long run your relationship will be stronger. If things don't work out between you and them, hey, that's okay. Some people don't work out together. You'll probably find someone else and if you don't, there's always cats!

Summer Reading List

As I mentioned in my last blog, it's summer! Woo hoo!! Now that I have a ton of free time and don't have to be constantly reading for school, that means I have free time to read stuff I actually want to! Woo hoo! With that in mind, I thought I'd share my summer reading list. Will I finish it? Fuck no. Most of these are spill overs from winter break reading, last summer, and even high school. If any of you have read any of these, please feel free to share your thoughts!

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by Chelsea Handler and Friends

I love Chelsea Handler, hence why I shelled out $90 for fourth row tickets when she's here in June. I've read all three of her other books and almost stopped breathing from laughing so hard each time so obviously I was very excited for this one to come out even if most of it was written by other people. This is actually the book I'm reading right now and so far so good!

Hyperspace and Physics of the Future by Michio Kaku

As I'm sure you're all aware, I am a nerd. One of my favorite nerdy pastimes is anything and everything science and that's why not one but TWO books by Michio Kaku, rock start theoretical physicist, have found their way onto my summer reading list. This man is a GENIUS. He has this fantastic ability to be able to explain advanced physics concepts in terms that even someone who has little background in science can understand AND, best of all, he uses minimal math. I tried reading Hyperspace over winter break but ended up not finishing it so I'm going to start from the beginning and give it a good read this time. Physics of the Future just came out in April and I have not had a chance to pick it up yet but if it's anything like Physics of the Impossible, it's going to be a nerdy good time.

Game Change by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin

Ahhhh, politics... How I love thee. This one's about the 2008 presidential election which holds a very special place in my heart because I spent so much time interning for a political campaign that year. I'm looking forward to seeing what went on behind the scenes and how Obama was able to take down McCain and his Alaskan Barbie of a running mate.

The Center of Winter by Marya Hornbacher

Marya Hornbacher is a Minneapolis author best known for her memoir Wasted in which she dives into the depths and presents the horrifying reality of eating disorders by sharing her personal struggle. I thoroughly enjoyed this book in high school and have since read her other memoir, Madness, which focuses more on her struggle with bipolar disorder (This lady has had some fucked up shit happen to her and one can't help but feel sorry for her and want to help). Despite having picked up a copy a while back, I have yet to read her fiction novel, The Center of Winter. Based on the first few pages, title, and reviews I have read, it's a pretty big downer but an excellent read.

Secret Carnival Workers by Paul Haines

Secret Carnival Workers is a collection of music journalism, poems, and other writing by Canadian poet Paul Haines. Another one I've had for a while but have not gotten around to reading. An interesting tidbit about Paul: His sperm produced one of the greatest musical geniuses, best looking, and downright awesome women of our time, the lovely Emily Haines. Anyone who shares 50% of their genes in common with that woman MUST be really, really awesome.

That's my reading list. Of course, there's always room for more so if you have a suggestion, feel free to let me know!

Day 23: A song that you want to play at your wedding

I'd like to start this blog out with a political message: LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE. It's time for marriage equality for all and to end second class citizenship in our country.

Now that we have that out of the way, it's time for a less weighty topic: Looooooove. Okay, that's probably equally as weighty. NOT THE POINT. While as of now I have no plans of getting married (although I feel socially pressured to so I'd probably marry the first person who came along).

Anyway, the song that I've always felt is the perfect love song because it describes what I imagine love to be like so perfectly is "Love Is A Place" by Metric.

What a perfect song for a first dance at a wedding. If you haven't heard this song, you NEED to listen to it. It's one of my favorites of all time. Emily's voice is so beautiful too and there's nothing complicated about it. Pure, simple musical goodness.

Here's an acoustic performance I happen to love:

Day 21: A song that you listen to when you're happy

I've never really thought about how much my mood affects the music I listen to until writing today and yesterday's blog (and looking ahead to tomorrow to see that it's going to be another mood themed post). I really do tend to listen to music that fits my mood rather than music that fits the mood I'm going for (in which case I guess I'd just listen to happy music all the time haha). Even within bands that I listen to a lot of I'll have certain songs I'll listen to more depending on my mood. For example, take Metric: If I'm in a bad/depressed mood, I'll tend to listen to, "Empty," "London Halflife," or "Calculation Theme." If I'm in a good mood, however, it usually is something more like "Combat Baby," "Grow Up and Blow Away" and "Gimme Sympathy." Of course, how can "Gimme Sympathy" NOT put you in a good mood? It's so happy and fun.

I remember the first time I heard "Gimme Sympathy" it was on spin.com. Emily and Jimmy did an acoustic performance a few months before Fantasies was released and I was just in awe of that song. It was kind of a shock when I first heard the studio version because, needless to say, when I heard it the first time there were not as many soaring synths in the first version. Regardless, the song instantly clicked with me. The lyrics are so simple yet extremely deep... You can sense Metric's anxiety about getting bigger and if it will be a positive change or not.

The song asks the question, "Who would you rather be; the Beatles or the Rolling Stones?" This brings up my own question: Does Emily get asked who she'd rather be a lot? And if so, does she regret writing that line? I totally would. After about the sixth person who asked me I'd just be like... "Shut the fuck up. For real, it's not original and it's not cute." Of course, I have a feeling Emily is a lot less of an ass than I am =)

Day 10: A song that makes you fall asleep

I'm one of those people who needs complete and total silence to fall asleep so there really isn't a song that makes me fall asleep to. However, there are some songs that are better to fall asleep to than others. One of the better songs happens to be "Winning" by Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Emily has an AMAZING voice. Normally, with Metric, she sticks to harder, more rock style music. In her solo music, on the other hand, she had the chance to show off just how beautiful her voice is with a bunch of slower piano music. This song is incredible and features of of Emily's amazing lyrics.

On the topic of sleep, sleep is one of my favorite things ever. I wouldn't mind being in a coma... as long as I wasn't secretly conscious and just couldn't express myself. Cause that'd suck. And not being able to shower would suck to cause I'd staaaaank. Anyway, off the topic of comas and into regular sleep... It seems no matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired and I always want more. Perhaps I'm lazy. Or I just have really weird sleep needs. Or I'm dying... Hopefully not that last one o.O

Also: This song isn't on the site I make my playlists on so I put another song by Em on there. Here's a video of it live, though.

Day 1: Your Favorite Song

It was really hard for me to decide on a song to do for this one. I listen to a lot of music and picking just one song as my favorite of all time? Shit. A couple came to mind. Among them: "Simple Kind of Life," "Sunday Morning," and "Rock Steady" by No Doubt, "A Man/Me/Then Jim" by Rilo Kiley, "Emergency" by Paramore, and a few others... but one song stood out and that song is "Hustle Rose" by Metric.

The first time I heard this song I wasn't blown away. It was like a few other songs where I've been like, "Whoa, this song rules!!" But for some reason I kept listening. From the beginning, from the very first line, this song rules; "Behold the fishnet slut tonight..." Behold indeed. After repeating "Now that your wallet is all lit up" over minimalist synths for around 30 seconds, the real beauty of the song starts: Emily's soft, haunting voice over piano turning... and then bursting into a musical experience like something you'll never know. I can't even come up with the words to describe it. Probably the most spectacular part, however, is the breakdown that closes out the song. Turn it up loud, close your eyes, and shut out the rest of the world and your mind will be blown in such a way that you'll never be able to recover... not that you'd want to.

This song also has a lot of personal meaning to me. Back in high school while I was going through all my depression and eating disorder shit, I'd listen to this song a lot. It honestly is one of the reasons I'm still alive today. I'd just sit there in awe and think... How can something this beautiful exist and the whole world be bad? There is good out there, you just need to search for it.

Also, for those who don't know, the tattoo on my back is from this song.

I want to remember this forever

The tour manager opened the door and they came out, Emily first. I shook their hands and introduced myself. I told them I was a huge fan and said thank you for helping me through a lot of the hard times. Jimmy was freaking awesome. I congratulated them on Twilight. Michelle said to show them my tattoo so I took off my shirt and showed it to them and they all seemed to really like it. Jimmy asked me if I wanted them to sign anything and I asked them to sign my sign I had made. I had a pen but Jimmy was like, "We'll get a Sharpie so it'll be much more dynamic." He was so friendly, it was awesome. I stepped aside and asked Emily how she liked being on Lilith and she said it was really cool. Joules said it was like 106 most of the other dates so it was nice to be inside and then Jimmy said he was disappointed it wasn't at Canterbury because he wanted to bet on some dogs. They said bye and went back into their dressing room but Joules stayed and we talked for a bit and then he gave me a hug. I thanked him again and said hopefully I'd be seeing them again soon and that I was trying to get up to Toronto to see them and he said that it was an incredible place...

Best night ever.

I've never been more grateful to be alive or for my life. Once again, Metric has given me hope in humanity and has been a beacon of hope in my life.

Best of 2010... so far

As I'm writing this, I'm listening to fireworks go off for July 4th. This means the year is a little over halfway over so I think it's time to reflect back on some of the musical gems that have come out so far this year. I usually do a top 10 around December (and by usually I mean I did one for 2009 and plan on continuing the tradition) so for the halfway point, I'm going to pick five of my favorites. Check back in December to see if they're still here or if they get outshined!

"Heart of my Own" by Basia Bulat

I hadn't heard of Canadian singer Basia Bulat until I started listening to the CBC Radio 3 Breakfast Club podcast in January. One of the first podcasts I listened to (actually, I think THE first) was one with Basia talking about her new album. I thoroughly enjoyed her music so I downloaded it and was very pleasantly surprised how good the whole thing was. She has a sort of quiver to her voice but it's not annoying or bad or anything; it actually makes her more distinct. Her music has a very simple, rustic folksy sort of feel to it which is enhanced by a lot of the gold rush imagery she uses. My favorite track is probably the title track or "If Only You." Go have a listen!

"Die Stadt Muzikanten" by Woodpigeon

Another Canadian artist (surprise, surprise knowing me!) that I discovered via CBC Radio 3. I generally prefer female vocals but Woodpigeon definitely qualifies as an exception to that rule. Their lead singer's voice is very pleasant sounding and pure. I strongly recommend "Woodpigeon vs. Eagleowl (Strength in Numbers)." That was the song that originally got me to give them a listen. It was one of those songs that I heard on the radio and I was instantly like, "WHO IS THIS?!" and is probably one of my favorite songs of the year.

"Rat a Tat Tat" by Jason Collett

Jason Collett is another recent discovery of mine and I'm already obsessed with him. He has a very raw feel to his music and I love it. My favorite songs are "Love is a Chain," which makes use of one of my favorite instruments, the trumpet (Once a ska kid, always a ska kid!), and "Northern Light Letdown." His lyrics are absolutely amazing and he seems like a really cool dude which only adds to his appeal.

"Forgiveness Rock Record" by Broken Social Scene

I have been waiting for the album for SOOOOOO long. Broken Social Scene is a Canadian indie clusterfuck of sorts that features musicians such as Jason Collett, Feist, Amy Milan, and of course, the goddess herself, Emily Haines. They've always had an eclectic experiment sound that kind of plays around with music in ways that most bands wouldn't dare to try and this album is no exception. However, it has more of a rock feel to it. My favorite song, without question, is "Sentimental X's" which features Emily Haines, Feist, and Amy Milian on vocals... PURE FREAKIN' BLISS. I can't describe how beautiful that song is. Other favs include "All to All" and "Texico Bitches."

"All Shapes and Disguises" by Tonight Alive

The only non-Canadian to make it on this list, Tonight Alive is an Australian band I recently discovered. They have a female front so they're getting a lot of comparisons to Paramore but I don't think they sound that much alike. TA has their own sound, as does Paramore, and just because they both have female singers doesn't mean they're the same. Anywho, this album will rock your panties off and then some. Currently I'm addicted to "To Die For," the first track, but I also really enjoy their cover of Rufio's "In My Eyes." This is probably my favorite album over all so far so if you download any of these, make it this one!

A Simple Kind of Life

What am I looking for in a mate? (Yes, mate. Biology FTW!) Nothing complicated...

Someone who will go to shows with me.
Someone who talk about genetics with me even if it's just to humor me.
Someone who will listen to Emily Haines with me.
Someone who will text me just because.
Someone who will put me before anyone else.
Someone who will listen to the rain with me.
Someone with sexy tattoos.
Someone who is okay with my mood swings and meltdowns.
Someone I can look at all day and late into the night.
Someone who is okay when I talk Pokemon.

And most importantly...
Someone who realizes that Gwen and Emily will ALWAYS be number 1 in my life.
A man's gotta have his priorities, right?





Why is this so hard to find?

Celebrate a brand new day

"Only hang out with the people you like. I figured that out and it changed my life."
- Emily Haines

A friend of mine introduced me to that quote today. I'd never heard it before which is kinda strange considering I'm mildly obsessed with that woman. Regardless, I think there's remarkable wisdom in those words.

It seems that a lot of my time in high school and even since then I've spent hanging out around people who I honestly thought weren't the greatest people/friends and ignored some of the best people I know. And, more importantly, I wasted my time not really enjoying myself. Life's too short for that.

Well dammit, it's not happening anymore. I'm technically a sophomore in college now. I don't have time for people that I don't actually want to spend time with for whatever reason. I'm making the people who are good to me my priority.

This is the start of a new phase in my life.