The Academy of Joey Awards 2012: The Best Music of the Year!

2012 is wrapping up and that means that it's list season. Lists of the best food, movies, stupid things said by Michele Bachman, etc. are popping up everywhere and, not one to be left out, I'm compiling a list of the only thing in pop culture I actually pay attention to/give a rat's ass about: Music!

Your other option was a list of the best psychological studies of 2012 so be thankful it's not that.

Here are my picks for the best of the best of my little slice of the music world. Feel free to let me know what some of your favorites are or bitch about me not picking your favorite artist because *GASP* different opinions!!!

ARTIST OF THE YEAR

Get ready for the shocked gasps when you see that my pick for the artist of the year is...

METRIC

Have you all recovered from this surprising revelation? I know, me picking Metric for the best overall artist is earth shattering but you need to calm down. COLLECT YOURSELF, GODDAMMIT.

Okay good. This was without question the year of Metric. Now before you go all, "But [insert breakthrough act/shitty pop artist/old school artist who had a hit here]..." let me explain. Yes, Metric's most recent album, Synthetica, didn't crack the top 10 on Billboard sales but hot damn, they came in at number 12. Pretty good for a band that runs their own label, effectively putting out their own records and not getting help from the major label music machines. They sold out shows all over the world, they played VH1's Divas thingy, they headlined festivals, they grabbed the attention of Rhianna (who could take notes from Metric on how to make less awful music), and scored a film with Howard Shore. They may not be topping charts but they're doing their own thing, winning fans on their own terms, and they're showing the world that you CAN stay true to yourself and be successful in the entertainment industry.

And they had the honor of hanging out with us after their Minneapolis show.

 Now, considering I saw them three times this year (two of which were in a different country), I don't think it'd be fair to include them for consideration for the rest of the categories as they'd sweep them all so I am removing Metric from the running for the rest of my picks... but know that everything they do is perfection.

 LIVE ARTIST OF THE YEAR

I go to a lot of concerts so this category is always a difficult one for me to pick. Throw in Osheaga, the music festival I went to this year, and things get even more difficult.

 STARS

I managed to see these guys twice this year (Once at an intimate show at the Triple Rock and once when they opened for Metric) and hot damn do they put on an excellent show. Their energy and awkward dance moves is infectious. Amy and Torquill have voices that melt together to produce something more beautiful than Ryan Gosling's abs. They also are genuinely thankful for all the love from the audience and, on top of it, Amy is the most adorable person on the planet. Also, my favorite jam off The North, their most recent release, "Hold On When You Get Love and Let Go When You Give It" is even more stellar live than it is recorded.

Honorable mentions

The Ting Tings: It was tough not to pick these two. Despite only having two members, they manage to put on a show that's full of pure rock goodness. I honestly never sweat that much in my life from all the dancing. I was exhausted, but didn't want it to end.

Sleigh Bells: If I were to describe everything a rock show should be, it would be a Sleigh Bells show: Loud guitars, hot chicks (in the form of their lead singer, Alexis Krauss), crowd surfing WHILE STILL SINGING AND PLAYING GUITAR by both Alexis and Derek, rowdy dancing... I was honestly shocked by how great these two were.

Doomtree: I usually am not a fan of rap but these guys are so freaking great. They have high energy, deep lyrics that aren't just "fuck a ho and drank some Patron," and Dessa. Dessa is her own category of awesome.

Feist: This lady puts on a show. Not only does she interact with the audience, but she has them participating in various aspects of her show. She played multiple instruments and wowed the crowd of 40 thousand at Osheaga. And, in a personal favorite part, she stopped mid song to accept a palm tree that had been passed up through the crowd as a gift from a fan. Why they picked a palm tree is a mystery, but it was awesome regardless.

BEST NEW ARTIST

Another difficult category to pick for me. There were a ton of great new artists that came to my attention this year. However, I think one sticks out a little more than the rest.

KIMBRA

Most of you probably know Kimbra from her song with Gotye, "Somebody That I Used To Know," but she's a great artist in her own right. This spritely little Kiwi has an amazing voice and does all sorts of interesting things with her vocals. She also has the coolest outfits I've ever seen. I read somewhere that she makes most of her clothes herself... Multitalented! I look forward to seeing what she has to offer in the future!

Honorable mentions

Hey Ocean: These guys were the first band I saw at Osheaga and it was a great way to kick off the festival. Super high energy and Ashleigh Bell is a great vocalist. There's a great video of them doing a cover of "Sprawl II" by Arcade Fire that I suggest you check out.

Polica: A great local band from Minneapolis that I also saw at Osheaga (and saw on the plane there... and awkwardly ran into them at the festival). They use a lot of autotune but unlike most uses of autotune, it's not to make up for a lack of vocal prowess. It actually enhances the music and live, Channy is able to let her impressive vocal abilities shine through.

blondfire: These guys have been getting a lot of hype regarding their song "Where The Kids Are" and they absolutely deserve it. The music video for the song is whacky and the song is catchy as hell (and a great song to snowboard to!). But they're more than just a one hit band. Check out their other music, as well. It's pretty great!

SONG OF THE YEAR

Ahhh, the best single song of the year. With the sheer volume of music released this year, how to pick just one song?

"PUSH AND SHOVE" BY NO DOUBT (FEAT. BUSY SIGNAL AND MAJOR LAZER)

Gwen Stefani is probably the only white girl on the planet who can get away with talking about hustling and not sound like she's trying too hard. This song is a sort of bizarre mash up of genres. It's a bit pop, a bit dance, a bit reggae. The lyrics are kind of quirky but in the context of the song, they work. This sounds like it would end up as a musical hot mess but it actually works... Really, really well I might add.

Honorable mentions

"Somewhere to Hide" by Shiny Toy Guns: Shiny Toy Guns' latest release is a great album overall (more on that in a bit) but this song stands out to me and, in my opinion, is a wise choice for their most recent single. Singer Carah Faye Charnow does an absolutely killer job on vocal, perfectly blending her powerful pipes with the completely danceable beat.

"The House That Heaven Built" by Japandroids: These guys have been getting a lot of attention this year and even sold out THREE shows in Minneapolis. This song is largely what has been driving this hype. It's a really simple, repetitive rock and roll jam that's infectious and will remain stuck in your head all day.

"I Don't Recall" by Lavender Diamond: I heard of Lavender Diamond a few years back and wasn't overly impressed by them (I also think their name is rather tacky). However, this song is so full of emotion and realism that I decided to give them a second chance. The vocals are sincere and the lyrics, despite their simplicity, manage to express everything they need to without frills.

 ALBUM OF THE YEAR

This is the category that I would consider my biggest honor. A whole album, with 12ish songs that are actually worth listening to, is rare. So who put forth the best effort this year?

 HALCYON BY ELLIE GOULDING

I'm going to admit something I probably shouldn't: Sometimes I cry from how perfect Ellie Goulding is and how much I love her. Now that I've outed myself as absolutely pathetic, we can move on. Halcyon is an absolute treasure. Despite being a pop artist, Ellie doesn't really do what anyone else is doing in pop music today. She plays with her vocals and reaches soaring high notes on the opening track, "Don't Say A Word," and "Hanging On." She mixes her airy voice with dubstep beats on numerous songs and, on songs such as "Explosions," and "I Know You Care" she uses minimal instrumentation and REALLY shows off that she can sing. My personal favorite, "Only You," starts out with a strange autotuned vocal section and moves on to be largely based on a repetitive beat that wiggles in your brain long after the song has finished. For those who get a physical copy with bonus content, the album comes with a bonus track, "I Need Your Love." This song features Calvin Harris and has some of the best synthesizers I've hear in a long time (and it's great to snowboard to!).

Honorable mentions

  

III by Shiny Toy Guns:  STG fans have been waiting years for this album, which features the return of Carah Faye on vocals and man, does she make the wait totally worth it. Their other lead singer, Chad, does just as great of a job. The band manages to infuse a lot of rock influences with electronic dance music and the result is a hard rocking, futuristic treat for your eardrums.

Sounds From Nowheresville by the Ting Tings: The Ting Ting's first album had a lot of great singles but didn't flow as well as album as Sounds does. This album is a great sophomore release and Katie White even gets a chance to prove that she actually can sing on tracks like, "Day To Day." I suggest giving the acoustic version a listen in addition to the original.

Give You The Ghost by Polica: I believe I said everything I need to say about Polica in their Best New Artist honorable mention, but I'd really like to stress it again: Go give them a listen. Their debut album is gorgeous and I'm sure you'll be seeing them on my favorites lists in future years.

So that's it! Those are my picks for favorite music for this year. Looking ahead, 2013 already looks exciting with the Joy Formidable, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Tegan and Sara, Lady Gaga, and more set to release new material and many exciting concert tours, including Fleetwood Mac, Stars, and, hopefully, No Doubt! I hope everyone has a great 2013 and that the music gods are just as wonderful to us as they were this year!

On a side note, this is my 100th blog! Woo hoo! Given my sporadic blogging, I'm surprised I've managed to somehow bust out 100! 

Political Words/Phrases I Never Want To Hear Again

This is how I feel right now.

In just four days, America will take to the polls and decide who will be the next people to completely ignore the wishes of their constituents. This means that in just five days, we'll be free of all those annoying political television and radio ads and I literally could not be more excited. They're very repetitive and tend to use the same sound bites and phrases over and over. In celebration of our liberation from political propaganda, I have compiled a list of my least favorite phrases/words that I will be excited to not hear again for a long time... or to at least hear less frequently.

"Job creator/killer": I get it. The unemployment rate is high and you're going to change that and your opponent is going to be the Jeffrey Dahmer of jobs. How about telling us how you're going to accomplish this instead of just spouting the same overused phrases?

"Swing state": (and all of the names of the swing states... OHIO, I'M LOOKING AT YOU)

"Birth certificate": OBAMA WAS BORN HERE, GET OVER IT.

"Nancy Pelosi": This one comes courtesy of Michele Bachmann, who seems to think she's running against Nancy based on some of her radio ads.

"Obamacare": I'll send you to the hospital for some Obamacare if you don't shut up.

"Activist judges": What the hell is an activist judge? This is one people like to spout whenever a judge makes a ruling they disagree with. It's really a poorly defined concept and as a social scientist, poorly defined concepts make me angsty.

"Traditional marriage": This one needs to go away as well. Which tradition are we talking about?

"Loving, Committed, Same-Sex Couples": I know, I know, I'm very for GLBT rights but this one is over used and contains way too many adjectives.

"Yes/No": I know I won't be able to avoid this one completely, but at least I won't have to see it everywhere with all the constitutional amendments voted on.

"Amendment": Can we just not do anything with our constitution so I don't have to hear this word in eight different commercials?

"The children": A hypothetical group of future spawn that apparently are very fragile as they need constant protection. Vote for my guy or the other one will eat your children!!!!

"Rick Nolan": So many attack ads about this dude in Minnesota. It's almost as bad as Pelosi.

Anything with ominous music listing the crimes against humanity committed by the various candidates.

"Cut/raise taxes": Everyone is going to cut them and their opponent is going to raise them.

"Bipartisan": What every politician claims to be and what few really are. See also: "across the aisle."

"The women/young/veterans/Latinos/undecided voters/first time voters are going to decide this election.": So basically everyone who votes is going to decide the election. Gee, how insightful.

"Moist": Okay, not a political word but one that should not be used regardless.

"Wasteful spending": If everyone who claimed they were going to cut government spending actually did so, we'd actually be making money instead of spending it.

"Redefine marriage": Partially because of philosophical disagreements, but also because I hear it ALL THE TIME. It needs to stop.



I could keep this list going for quite some time, but I'm already annoyed just thinking about hearing these phrases the next few days. What are some of your least favorite political phrases? Let me know in the comments!

Why Marriage Matters

Last October, on the eve of my second biochemistry test of the semester, I got a phone call from my mom that will forever be burned into my memory; My grandfather on my dad's side was in the hospital and they had discovered four large tumors on his spine. Immediately upon hanging up with her, I burst into tears and did not stop crying until the middle of the afternoon the next day (including all the way through my biochemistry test, which needless to say was not my best). Knowing that this could be one of my last opportunities to ever see my grandpa, I canceled all my weekend plans, threw some clothes and homework together, and departed for Illinois to visit him in the hospital.

That weekend was one of the most difficult weekends of my life. I could barely stay in the room because it was so emotionally taxing and I hated seeing such a strong man, one I cared about so much, confined to a bed and knowing that he was in pain. That being said, I'm so glad I went down there. I know it meant a lot to him, and by Thanksgiving (the next opportunity I had to make the trip), he had declined so rapidly that he couldn't even tell what was going on. The morning after I returned to Minnesota from that Thanksgiving trip, I got the call that he had passed on.

That trip to the hospital in October was the last time I got to see and talk to my grandfather like old times, like I remembered him. Thinking back on it, I'm incredibly grateful that it ended up happening the way it did. I got my chance to say goodbye and to some extent, that gives me a little peace.

But I can't help wondering what would have happened if something different would have happened. What if he had been in a car crash? Or what if I had to work that weekend and couldn't have gone down to see him? What if I never got that chance to see him in the hospital? I would have been devastated knowing I never got the chance to say goodbye and it would have made the process of mourning, one that I'm still going through to some extent today, even more painful and pronounced.

The story of my grandpa's last few months is not something I particularly like talking about as it was a very dark period in my life and it's painful to even bring up. However, I'm sharing it for a reason and that reason is something that is very important to not only me, but to many people in the state of Minnesota.

Hospital visitation rights is one of the many rights afforded to married couples, ensuring that those couples have a better chance of saying goodbye to someone whom they've spent a significant portion of their life with. It also allows a spouse to make crucial decisions about medical care for their spouse, as an accident victim's spouse probably knows more about what their significant other would want than does the emergency medical staff who have never come in contact with this person before.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to deny someone the right to visit their life partner in the hospital, possibly on their deathbed, but there are so many people who do. In November, Minnesotans will go to the polls to vote on a constitutional amendment to permanently ban marriage for same-sex couples. This would leave same-sex couples, who have spent their whole lives together, laughed, cried, and possibly raised children together (Woo hoo for adoption and surrogacy!) unable to be their for the last moment's of their partner's journey on this planet. Permanently.

But hospital visitation rights aren't the only things that same sex couples would be denied. There are hundreds of benefits awarded to married couples that same sex couples wouldn't be allowed to have, or would have to jump through loopholes in order to get them. As a social scientist, I find other unspoken implications of the amendment more worrisome. For example, this amendment sends a message to children who are being raised by same sex parents that there is something wrong with their family or that GLBT youth are somehow different in a negative way. Do you really want to send this message to children? Do you really want to send the message to them that it's okay for them to discriminate against their peers because they're different? Is that really a healthy environment for all children?

I know personally, this amendment has already taken it's toll on me. Hearing all these negative things about how I'm disordered or there's something unnatural about something that I didn't choose has made me quite honestly feel like crap about myself. I'm scared to go out, even in my own neighborhood. And how do you think it feels that people who don't even know me are investing their time and effort to actively write discrimination into the constitution of my home state, a state I've grown up in and worked my damn hardest to make a better place?

This amendment accomplishes nothing, as same sex marriage is already illegal in Minnesota. And really, even bringing it up has just made neighbors turn against each other. Please take the time to think of how you vote impacts real people, and think of all the people, gay and straight, young and old, who will be hurt by this amendment. Take a moment to think of the broader consequences.

This amendment hurts me and if you really care about me, and the many other people in your life who will be negatively affected by this amendment, please vote NO.

Osheaga 2012

I've developed this exciting (and incredibly expensive) tradition of going to a music festival each year. Last year it was SXSW and Lollapalooza and the year before that it was... Well, it was just last year. Not much of a tradition yet, I suppose... but it's going to be one, DAMMIT.

Anywho, I decided to mix things up this year and leave the US and head up to our lovely neighbors to the north for Osheaga in Montreal. And it was AWESOME. Osheaga is similar to Lollapalooza in that it's a three day music festival with a whole range of musical artists performing at different stages throughout the day. While this is awesome, it also made it a bit of a challenge to see everyone I wanted to see.

Friday started out with a great set from Hey Ocean, a Canadian band that really needs to be noticed here in America because they're awesome and had the crowd dancing the whole time. "Big Blue Wave" was probably my favorite song they did live and I'm hoping to catch them again soon.

After that I made it to a couple songs by Yukon Blonde, who were just as insane live as I expected them to be, before rushing off to catch Polica, a band from Minneapolis that has been receiving a lot of press lately... and deservingly so!

Minnesota loving.

Polica has managed the seemingly impossible task of using autotune in a way that enhances what's already there instead of making up for something that's missing. This becomes incredibly obvious during their live performances, which are filled with emotion and genuine musicianship.

From there I caught Bombay Bicycle Club (didn't stay for their whole set as I found them crazy boring), Freelance Whales, the Jezabels, Of Monsters and Men, Sigur Ros, and Justice. The highlight of the day, however, was without question Florence and the Machine. Florence has this mystique about her that comes out in her live performances. It's more than just her powerful singing voice (though that certainly adds to it!). The way she dances around the stage with her dress flowing and blowing in the (man made) wind, her interactions with the audience, her constant encouraging people to be loving and accepting of each other... It all felt really surreal.

After a brief sleep, Saturday arrived and with it came the hot, hot sun. I probably put on half a tube of sunscreen that day because I kept sweating it off. The only thing hotter than the sun was the music. The day started off with the very end of a pretty good sounding set by the Do and then Kathleen Edwards, who was phenomenal. She brought the rock and, most impressively, her earrings matched her bra. Clearly, as a gay man, I'm obligated to notice these things.

I caught a bit of Portugal. The Man before I headed over to see Kandle, a Montreal native who people seemed really excited about. She was awesome! Her voice was great, her band did a fantastic job, the crowd was into it and she seemed really appreciative and sincere. After Kandle we stuck around for the Black Lips. I was a bit leery as I had seen them twice before. One time they were AWESOME, the other time they were completely horrible. It could have gone either way but it ended up being a dancingly good time. And oh look, we ran into one of them after.

We meet all the bands.

After them was Young Galaxy. Waiting for them produced one of the most exciting moments of the trip, a wave from Amy Milan (of Stars), who was back stage and looking fab as always. Young Galaxy was only mildly familiar to me (I'd only heard a couple songs) but their sound was infectious and I found myself dancing the whole time. Definitely a highlight!

Next up we booked it to the main stage to secure spots for Feist and Garbage. In the meantime, we caught Brand New. They were fine but I wasn't blown away by them and couldn't imagine myself listening to their music on my own. They weren't bad by any means, but I definitely didn't rush out to buy their album.

Garbage came next and they produced some of my favorite moments of the whole festival. They opened with "Automatic Systematic Habit," and it set the tone for a great set. A few songs in, Shirley introduced her band to the audience. "For those of you who are fans of us," she spoke, "we are Garbage. And for those of you who aren't fans, first of all, fuck you. We're still Garbage." And then she proceeded to keep rocking our faces off.

It was like a 90's explosion but by far the coolest part of the set was not something that happened when the music was going. At one point, a fan was trying to hand Shirley a letter from the band so Shirley, in perfect French, asked one of the security guards to grab the letter for her. She then thanked the fan and promised to read it. A simple gesture, yes, but I guarantee that person's life was made. If only all bands were that cool.

Speaking of cool, up next was the insanely cool Feist. She... is a total badass. Guitars, a trio of singers, members of Broken Social Scene, giving Snoop Dogg a shout out. The coolest part of her set, however, was when a fan sent a palm tree up through the audience as a gift and she stopped the song she was playing, brought the palm tree on stage, and kept going. Why the fan thought a palm tree was the perfect gift we may never know, but I suppose even the most famous musicians don't necessarily have enough tropical foliage.

As I alluded to in the last paragraph (please reread said paragraph if necessary) after Feist came Snoop Dogg (he wasn't Snoop Lion that night) and it was... quite interesting. As the whitest person on the planet, I never thought I'd be able to add "Seen Snoop Dogg Live" to my resume but well, now I can. That'll get me employment for sure! In the grand tradition of bizarre things happening at the festival, we were also treated to a couple very publicly doing the nasty right next to us. I'm not talking heavy petting or dry humping, either. It was pretty clear there was full on penetration going on.

Fast forward to the next morning and the day I had been waiting all weekend for, METRIC SUNDAY. To the surprise of no one who knows me we got there before doors opened, despite the fact that it was humid and rainy, and camped out the front row all day. And we made signs.

Go listen to "Succexy" before you question it.

Luckily, the festival gods were merciful and pretty much everyone I wanted to see that day was on one of the main two stages. First off was Chappo. They were so bizarre and so wonderful I can't even begin to describe what actually happened. I'll sum it up with this list: Sexy bikini models, seagulls, a volcano, confetti wands. And there was a giant dream catcher and something about a Native American elder in the desert.

Up next was Zeus at the other main stage (they were right next to each other so we could see both acts) and they were really, really good. I only wish I could've been closer. Following them was Dan Mangan who is crazy talented and had us all sing a really fun song about robots.

Following Dan was Passion Pit. I'll admit my bias and say that I'm not a huge Passion Pit fan but I was actually surprised by how good they were live. I was expecting a train wreck and instead I was dancing and singing along. And I'll also admit that this may have been because, to my surprise, their lead singer is 100% doable. I'd make a joke about wanting to get into his Passion Pit, but obviously I'm too mature for that.

Common was on the other stage next and he made one fan's life by pulling her on stage, singing to her, and letting her go in for a kiss. I think something about the festival atmosphere made the artists want to do cool things for the fans and one of these cool things happened to my friend Steph during Santigold's set when Santi invited her and some others to come dance on stage with her. Steph's excitement was apparent as she looked like she was in shock the whole time.

I unfortunately couldn't see much of Tame Impala's set over at the second main stage but they sounded really good. At our stage next was the Shins and holy lord were they a lot of fun! They even did my favorite song by them, "Australia," and I caused a mild scene in the front row. This excitement was diminished when City and Colour took the stage and I wanted to fall asleep from how bored I was. They're fine musicians but jeezy creezy. Do something besides get up their and play your songs.

As soon as they left the stage, I quickly perked up because IT WAS METRIC TIME. Metric opened with the lead track on their new album, "Artificial Nocturne," and I was quickly sucked in. Nothing beats starting out a set being able to scream, "I'm just as fucked up as they say" along with the lead singer of one of your favorite bands. From there they went into their most recent single, "Youth Without Youth." Some fans weren't thrilled with the song when it was originally released, but the overall sentiment seemed to be that seeing it live was an entirely new, positive experience.

During YWY was when the palm tree incident happened. Sure enough, palm tree man was back and another palm tree made its way up to the front of the crowd. This time, however, the security people threw it to the side. Obviously, as I assume palm trees are expensive, this pissed off palm tree man and he came up right behind me and started yelling at the guards. This escalated into the guards pulling him out of the audience, him kicking and screaming, and then wrestling palm tree man into submission and carrying off the premise. Who knew someone so into plants could be so full of rage?

Anyway, Metric then went into "Speed the Collapse" and the fan favorite, "Lost Kitten." This resulted in a total freakout of all around me and may have caused me to wet myself just a little. From there they went on, doing mostly new tracks but also a few old favorites including "Help I'm Alive," "Empty," and "Dead Disco" (which is ALWAYS insane live!). Their set was closed out with a beautiful acoustic version of "Gimme Sympathy" that brought a few tears to my eyes and shivers to my spine. And just as quickly as it had started, Metric's set, and the weekend of music, was over.

Overall, I'd say this was my best festival experience to date. I made a lot of wise decisions that I didn't make at the other festivals that I'd gone to, such as bringing my own food, not drinking, and actually wearing a butt load of sunscreen. Montreal was a cool city and I wish I could go on for all the fun adventures that happened outside the festival, but I'm sure most of you have quit reading by this point. Will I go to Osheaga again? Most definitely. It was an A+ weekend and I know I'll be thinking fondly of it for the rest of my life.