Pride 2011

This weekend was the Twin Cities' Pride festival and I felt heavily pressure by, surprisingly, my straight friends to go. So I did. Yay.

For those of you who don't know me well, I've never really felt much of a connection with the gay community. It's generally because I really don't have many things in common with other gay men aside from my love of Lady Gaga and, honestly, I find them pretty annoying. Gay men are everything I dislike about men (which, granted, is pretty much everything) combined with everything I find unattractive/dislike about women.

Lesbians, on the other hand, I love. Seriously, they rule. They're the few things I like about men combined with the very many things I like about women... and, best of all, there's no physical attraction from either direction so things never get weird! Woo hoo!

Anyway, so I went to Pride this weekend and it was kind of fun I guess. I did some volunteering and met some awesome lesbians. However, if I never see glitter or hear music that could easily serve as the soundtrack for a porno, I'd be completely okay with that. There was one story in particular that I wanted to share because I think it teaches an important lesson.

It's no secret that I'm a pretty hardcore agnostic and am not a fan of religion and especially Christianity as it seems to be obsessed with denying gays rights... or at least that's how many of it's followers choose to interpret it. I was pretty much expecting there to be tons of those crazy religious people with their "Stop sinning!" signs. Surprisingly, I saw none all weekend. What I did see, however, was a ton of Christians handing out free water and just generally being accepting and telling everyone there that they accepted and loved them regardless of their sexual orientation and that they just wanted them to be happy. It's been a while since my Catholic school days and I've been using my Bible as a paper weight, but I feel like that's what Jesus would want, as well as a supposedly all-loving God.

The take home lesson is to just accept others and also to act in (positive) ways that break stereotypes. You might have, at the very least, a slightly less negative opinion of that group.

That's all I wanted to share. Now, I'm going to go back to having nothing to do with the gay community for the rest of the year.

A comforting lie can't last

I'm on a bit of self improvement binge as of late, trying to rid my life of some of the negativity I have been experiencing and generally trying to make the world a more pleasant place. And that's why I've decided that it's time for me to stop my double life of sorts I've been living.

Those of you who know me fairly well know that in addition to being ignored, being lied to is one of the things that I find most hurtful and rude. I've also never been a fan of people who put on a facade, whether it be to seem like they're a good person but behind the scenes they're not or just to make someone like them. Well, I realize I've been doing these last two and it's time that it stops. Maybe this lie, the second face I've been putting on for some of you, is why I'm experiencing so many problems lately. Maybe it's not. But either way, this is my attempt at detoxifying my life.

Yes, as I'm sure all of you who I haven't already told suspected, I'm gay.

Now, I really don't want to make a big deal out of this. Why? Because it's not really central to who I am as far as I'm concerned. There are so many more interesting things about me. Like did you know that I'm an ordained reverend and can legally perform weddings? Much more interesting than who I'm potentially attracted to.

So please, don't make a big deal out of this. I've known for a long time. I'm still the same person I was before. My love of Metric, Canada, HIV advocacy, meeting new people, doing nerdy things like reading theoretical physics books for fun, Gwen Stefani, drinking like a fish, being a general badass, posting articles about current events and science that no one reads, yoga, the 7 Deadly Sins Games, randomly giving out complements to people I barely know on Facebook, and so many more things that really make up who I am haven't changed. I'm still the same old Joey, with all my quirks and flaws and positive attributes and my tendency to care a little too much about other people. I'm just finally able to show who I am in my entirety.

This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do partially because I've been scared of how people will react and partially because I'm not really friends with any guys, let alone gay ones, so I don't know what others have gone through. That's why I really appreciate any support you can give me.





I can assure you all of one thing:

No more lies.

Day 19: A song from your favorite album

I'd like to start out by admitting something: I'm getting really sick of this challenge. I'm sure many of you have noticed due to my relatively short posts that are filled with meaningless dribble... Oh wait, that isn't anything new, is it? Regardless, I refuse to give up when I'm almost 2/3 done! So please, bare with me loyal readers and randos who occasionally stop by over these next 11 days. We'll get through this together.

I'm not really sure what album would qualify as my favorite but one of my favorites of all time is the No Doubt classic Tragic Kingdom. Without question this album is one of the greatest albums of all time and if you think otherwise... I'll shiv you in the kidney.

A favorite track of mine has always been "Just A Girl." Holy fuck, that song rules so hard. It's super catchy and features one of my favorite features a song can possibly have, angry female vocals. Gwen's expressing her frustrations about being stereotyped because she's a girl, something I can relate to... kind of. Not about being a girl, but about being a man. My whole life there have always been these expectations about how I should be simply because I possess a penis and I've never really lived up to them so I've gotten a lot of shit. People would tell me, "You can't listen to bands with girl singers! That's GAY!" or "You can't be friends with girls unless you want to FUCK 'EM!" or "You look up to a woman? You can't do that!" Well you know what? Fuck you all. I'm sick of being told I have to fit this mold because I'm a man.

Yes, I like a lot of bands that have female singers. Their voices sound better to me. SO WHAT?

Yes, I consider Gwen Stefani to be my idol. She can teach anyone a thing or two, man or woman. SO WHAT?

Yes, I actually respect women on a non-sexual level and see past gender when it comes to abilities and qualifications... SO WHAT?

We need to get over these culturally set up gender roles. They're so stupid. And it's not like anyone perfectly fits them, either. So get over yourselves and stop acting like you're hot shit just because you (think you) live up to what society tells you a man should be.

I tried looking up to you, girl... Errr, dude

Today in my anthropology class we watched a movie about Freud. In the grand tradition of Freud, and my anthropology class for that matter, it ended up being mainly about sex. Seriously, this guy was hella perverted.

But that's not my point.

In the movie, there was a part about Freud's idol and how he'd write him almost romantic letters praising him. Instead of paying attention from this point forward, I got to thinking about who my idols are and I had a realization: They're all women. There really aren't any men out there that I'd say I idolize, at least not in the same way I do my ladies. I mean, I think Tom Dumont and Jimmy Shaw are pretty rad but I don't think I'd say I look up to them.

Is this weird? Like is it weird that I mainly look up to women? I feel like every other guy out there is like, "Duddde, my idol is (insert generic sports figure/rawwwwk musician/their father or grandfather/other manly man)" and I'm like, "Gwen Stefani FTW!"

I guess since I've always gotten along better with girls I've naturally always ended up looking up to them. Or maybe I'm not exposed to enough strong male role models. Or maybe men are just scum. Or maybe my life is just one large estrogen-fest and that's all it'll ever be. =\