Last October, on the eve of my second biochemistry test of the semester, I got a phone call from my mom that will forever be burned into my memory; My grandfather on my dad's side was in the hospital and they had discovered four large tumors on his spine. Immediately upon hanging up with her, I burst into tears and did not stop crying until the middle of the afternoon the next day (including all the way through my biochemistry test, which needless to say was not my best). Knowing that this could be one of my last opportunities to ever see my grandpa, I canceled all my weekend plans, threw some clothes and homework together, and departed for Illinois to visit him in the hospital.
That weekend was one of the most difficult weekends of my life. I could barely stay in the room because it was so emotionally taxing and I hated seeing such a strong man, one I cared about so much, confined to a bed and knowing that he was in pain. That being said, I'm so glad I went down there. I know it meant a lot to him, and by Thanksgiving (the next opportunity I had to make the trip), he had declined so rapidly that he couldn't even tell what was going on. The morning after I returned to Minnesota from that Thanksgiving trip, I got the call that he had passed on.
That trip to the hospital in October was the last time I got to see and talk to my grandfather like old times, like I remembered him. Thinking back on it, I'm incredibly grateful that it ended up happening the way it did. I got my chance to say goodbye and to some extent, that gives me a little peace.
But I can't help wondering what would have happened if something different would have happened. What if he had been in a car crash? Or what if I had to work that weekend and couldn't have gone down to see him? What if I never got that chance to see him in the hospital? I would have been devastated knowing I never got the chance to say goodbye and it would have made the process of mourning, one that I'm still going through to some extent today, even more painful and pronounced.
The story of my grandpa's last few months is not something I particularly like talking about as it was a very dark period in my life and it's painful to even bring up. However, I'm sharing it for a reason and that reason is something that is very important to not only me, but to many people in the state of Minnesota.
Hospital visitation rights is one of the many rights afforded to married couples, ensuring that those couples have a better chance of saying goodbye to someone whom they've spent a significant portion of their life with. It also allows a spouse to make crucial decisions about medical care for their spouse, as an accident victim's spouse probably knows more about what their significant other would want than does the emergency medical staff who have never come in contact with this person before.
I can't imagine why anyone would want to deny someone the right to visit their life partner in the hospital, possibly on their deathbed, but there are so many people who do. In November, Minnesotans will go to the polls to vote on a constitutional amendment to permanently ban marriage for same-sex couples. This would leave same-sex couples, who have spent their whole lives together, laughed, cried, and possibly raised children together (Woo hoo for adoption and surrogacy!) unable to be their for the last moment's of their partner's journey on this planet. Permanently.
But hospital visitation rights aren't the only things that same sex couples would be denied. There are hundreds of benefits awarded to married couples that same sex couples wouldn't be allowed to have, or would have to jump through loopholes in order to get them. As a social scientist, I find other unspoken implications of the amendment more worrisome. For example, this amendment sends a message to children who are being raised by same sex parents that there is something wrong with their family or that GLBT youth are somehow different in a negative way. Do you really want to send this message to children? Do you really want to send the message to them that it's okay for them to discriminate against their peers because they're different? Is that really a healthy environment for all children?
I know personally, this amendment has already taken it's toll on me. Hearing all these negative things about how I'm disordered or there's something unnatural about something that I didn't choose has made me quite honestly feel like crap about myself. I'm scared to go out, even in my own neighborhood. And how do you think it feels that people who don't even know me are investing their time and effort to actively write discrimination into the constitution of my home state, a state I've grown up in and worked my damn hardest to make a better place?
This amendment accomplishes nothing, as same sex marriage is already illegal in Minnesota. And really, even bringing it up has just made neighbors turn against each other. Please take the time to think of how you vote impacts real people, and think of all the people, gay and straight, young and old, who will be hurt by this amendment. Take a moment to think of the broader consequences.
This amendment hurts me and if you really care about me, and the many other people in your life who will be negatively affected by this amendment, please vote NO.
Showing posts with label GLBT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GLBT. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Pride 2011
This weekend was the Twin Cities' Pride festival and I felt heavily pressure by, surprisingly, my straight friends to go. So I did. Yay.
For those of you who don't know me well, I've never really felt much of a connection with the gay community. It's generally because I really don't have many things in common with other gay men aside from my love of Lady Gaga and, honestly, I find them pretty annoying. Gay men are everything I dislike about men (which, granted, is pretty much everything) combined with everything I find unattractive/dislike about women.
Lesbians, on the other hand, I love. Seriously, they rule. They're the few things I like about men combined with the very many things I like about women... and, best of all, there's no physical attraction from either direction so things never get weird! Woo hoo!
Anyway, so I went to Pride this weekend and it was kind of fun I guess. I did some volunteering and met some awesome lesbians. However, if I never see glitter or hear music that could easily serve as the soundtrack for a porno, I'd be completely okay with that. There was one story in particular that I wanted to share because I think it teaches an important lesson.
It's no secret that I'm a pretty hardcore agnostic and am not a fan of religion and especially Christianity as it seems to be obsessed with denying gays rights... or at least that's how many of it's followers choose to interpret it. I was pretty much expecting there to be tons of those crazy religious people with their "Stop sinning!" signs. Surprisingly, I saw none all weekend. What I did see, however, was a ton of Christians handing out free water and just generally being accepting and telling everyone there that they accepted and loved them regardless of their sexual orientation and that they just wanted them to be happy. It's been a while since my Catholic school days and I've been using my Bible as a paper weight, but I feel like that's what Jesus would want, as well as a supposedly all-loving God.
The take home lesson is to just accept others and also to act in (positive) ways that break stereotypes. You might have, at the very least, a slightly less negative opinion of that group.
That's all I wanted to share. Now, I'm going to go back to having nothing to do with the gay community for the rest of the year.
For those of you who don't know me well, I've never really felt much of a connection with the gay community. It's generally because I really don't have many things in common with other gay men aside from my love of Lady Gaga and, honestly, I find them pretty annoying. Gay men are everything I dislike about men (which, granted, is pretty much everything) combined with everything I find unattractive/dislike about women.
Lesbians, on the other hand, I love. Seriously, they rule. They're the few things I like about men combined with the very many things I like about women... and, best of all, there's no physical attraction from either direction so things never get weird! Woo hoo!
Anyway, so I went to Pride this weekend and it was kind of fun I guess. I did some volunteering and met some awesome lesbians. However, if I never see glitter or hear music that could easily serve as the soundtrack for a porno, I'd be completely okay with that. There was one story in particular that I wanted to share because I think it teaches an important lesson.
It's no secret that I'm a pretty hardcore agnostic and am not a fan of religion and especially Christianity as it seems to be obsessed with denying gays rights... or at least that's how many of it's followers choose to interpret it. I was pretty much expecting there to be tons of those crazy religious people with their "Stop sinning!" signs. Surprisingly, I saw none all weekend. What I did see, however, was a ton of Christians handing out free water and just generally being accepting and telling everyone there that they accepted and loved them regardless of their sexual orientation and that they just wanted them to be happy. It's been a while since my Catholic school days and I've been using my Bible as a paper weight, but I feel like that's what Jesus would want, as well as a supposedly all-loving God.
The take home lesson is to just accept others and also to act in (positive) ways that break stereotypes. You might have, at the very least, a slightly less negative opinion of that group.
That's all I wanted to share. Now, I'm going to go back to having nothing to do with the gay community for the rest of the year.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Taste the rainbow
Earlier this evening, I had the pleasure of seeing a wonderful acoustic set by the Head and the Heart. If you haven't heard of this band yet, I pity you. They're so wonderful. Their voices harmonize so perfectly together and you can tell they're genuinely enjoying themselves up on stage. Also, I had a chance to talk to them very quickly afterward and they are incredibly nice.
You can check out a song from them here:
As I was driving home, I thought back to a post I made a few days back with some fitness and health advice for busy people. I realized that I forgot to include a tidbit of nutrition advice that I always try to follow but I guess it's just as well (but I miss your face like hell. [Watch the video if you don't get this]) because it's really great advice for everyone, not just busy people... and it gives me an excuse to share a recipe!
In my other blog, I said that it's a good idea to try to eat a lot of foods that are brightly colored (but not artificially colored!) and this kind of builds on that. I like to call it the "Rainbow Rule" and no, it's not just for gays. In case you didn't imply this from the name, you basically make sure that you get at least one food that's every color of the rainbow somewhere in each of your meals throughout the day. What's the reasoning behind this? It makes sure they you get a variety of nutrients as foods with different colors generally will have different nutritional content. It also encourages you to get foods from a variety of different food groups.
Of course, some of the colors (read: blue and purple) can be difficult to find. Off hand, I think of blueberries for blue and... nothing else. Purple makes me think of eggplant, plums, and grapes. For that reason, I usually combine these two colors into one and if I can get both, great!
That brings me to the recipe I mentioned earlier! A couple friends and I were making dinner the other night and, me being me, I insisted upon it being mostly healthy. My friends took care of making garlic bread, a fruit salad (for dessert... As Marge Simpson once said, "Fruit is nature's candy!"), and an improvised baked pasta while I was in charge of a salad. Obviously, I wanted to pack as many nutrients as I could into the salad. Everyone seemed to enjoy the salad so the next week when I was looking to make a quick, healthy meal for myself, I decided to bust out the salad again, but this time with a slight modification to add yet another color that wasn't included in the original salad. I ended up enjoying it even more the original so I thought I'd share the recipe with you all.
And by share the recipe, I mean I'm going to give it a name and tell you what's in it. I'm going to give you any specifics or measurements or anything because it's a fucking salad. So let's call it Rainbow Salad because it's very colorful. Can everyone agree on that? Good.
So start with a big ass bowl and fill it with some spinach. Notice how I said spinach and not lettuce. Spinach=darker green=more nutrients than lettuce. You'll want about as much spinach as you think will feed however many people you're serving (duuuuuh!) unless you want to have left overs for later (double duuuuuuh!) Use your best estimation skillz.
So yeah, we're off to a great start and we already have green! But we're not going to stop the green there. Oooooh, no. Next up is cucumbers! I usually cut some into circles and then cut them into four pieces after that. I also keep some in thin circles to put on top of the salad at the end.
Next, git yerself sum peppars! Or, in English, get yourself some peppers! More specifically, you'll want red, orange, and yellow peppers. After washing them, cut them into small squares and then toss them into your bowl. Bam! Four colors down. God, isn't this amazing?! I feel like Emeril.
Now comes the really exciting part... AS IF SPINACH ISN'T EXCITING ENOUGH. Are you ready for it?!
BLUEBERRIES.
Holy. Fuck.
Mind blowing, right? Right. So wash yourself some of those deeeeelicious blueberries (I recommend using organic for less exposure to pesticides... Blueberries are on the EWG's Dirty Dozen!). There's blue! Woo! You've got all your colors, more or less! Now you're ready to toss the salad. Soooo... toss the salad. And I mean that in a non-sexual way, you pervert.
But we're not done yet! For an added dash of red, let's add some strawberries, why don't we? I also recommend getting these organic for the same reason. I've also noticed that the organic strawberries at my local grocery store tend to be straight up better quality than the conventional ones. Slice the strawberries into the thin slices and spread them nicely across the top along with any cucumber slices you saved. Awwww, now it looks awesome, too!
If you feel the need for dressing, which I highly recommend against because it's basically empty calories, go with olive oil as a healthy alternative and make sure you only put on a light amount. Trust me, this salad is so flavorful you won't even need dressing!
So there you go. My half assed approach to sharing a recipe. Try it, let me know what you think. Also, if you have any blue or purple foods you can think of, let me know!
You can check out a song from them here:
As I was driving home, I thought back to a post I made a few days back with some fitness and health advice for busy people. I realized that I forgot to include a tidbit of nutrition advice that I always try to follow but I guess it's just as well (but I miss your face like hell. [Watch the video if you don't get this]) because it's really great advice for everyone, not just busy people... and it gives me an excuse to share a recipe!
In my other blog, I said that it's a good idea to try to eat a lot of foods that are brightly colored (but not artificially colored!) and this kind of builds on that. I like to call it the "Rainbow Rule" and no, it's not just for gays. In case you didn't imply this from the name, you basically make sure that you get at least one food that's every color of the rainbow somewhere in each of your meals throughout the day. What's the reasoning behind this? It makes sure they you get a variety of nutrients as foods with different colors generally will have different nutritional content. It also encourages you to get foods from a variety of different food groups.
Of course, some of the colors (read: blue and purple) can be difficult to find. Off hand, I think of blueberries for blue and... nothing else. Purple makes me think of eggplant, plums, and grapes. For that reason, I usually combine these two colors into one and if I can get both, great!
That brings me to the recipe I mentioned earlier! A couple friends and I were making dinner the other night and, me being me, I insisted upon it being mostly healthy. My friends took care of making garlic bread, a fruit salad (for dessert... As Marge Simpson once said, "Fruit is nature's candy!"), and an improvised baked pasta while I was in charge of a salad. Obviously, I wanted to pack as many nutrients as I could into the salad. Everyone seemed to enjoy the salad so the next week when I was looking to make a quick, healthy meal for myself, I decided to bust out the salad again, but this time with a slight modification to add yet another color that wasn't included in the original salad. I ended up enjoying it even more the original so I thought I'd share the recipe with you all.
And by share the recipe, I mean I'm going to give it a name and tell you what's in it. I'm going to give you any specifics or measurements or anything because it's a fucking salad. So let's call it Rainbow Salad because it's very colorful. Can everyone agree on that? Good.
So start with a big ass bowl and fill it with some spinach. Notice how I said spinach and not lettuce. Spinach=darker green=more nutrients than lettuce. You'll want about as much spinach as you think will feed however many people you're serving (duuuuuh!) unless you want to have left overs for later (double duuuuuuh!) Use your best estimation skillz.
So yeah, we're off to a great start and we already have green! But we're not going to stop the green there. Oooooh, no. Next up is cucumbers! I usually cut some into circles and then cut them into four pieces after that. I also keep some in thin circles to put on top of the salad at the end.
Next, git yerself sum peppars! Or, in English, get yourself some peppers! More specifically, you'll want red, orange, and yellow peppers. After washing them, cut them into small squares and then toss them into your bowl. Bam! Four colors down. God, isn't this amazing?! I feel like Emeril.
Now comes the really exciting part... AS IF SPINACH ISN'T EXCITING ENOUGH. Are you ready for it?!
BLUEBERRIES.
Holy. Fuck.
Mind blowing, right? Right. So wash yourself some of those deeeeelicious blueberries (I recommend using organic for less exposure to pesticides... Blueberries are on the EWG's Dirty Dozen!). There's blue! Woo! You've got all your colors, more or less! Now you're ready to toss the salad. Soooo... toss the salad. And I mean that in a non-sexual way, you pervert.
But we're not done yet! For an added dash of red, let's add some strawberries, why don't we? I also recommend getting these organic for the same reason. I've also noticed that the organic strawberries at my local grocery store tend to be straight up better quality than the conventional ones. Slice the strawberries into the thin slices and spread them nicely across the top along with any cucumber slices you saved. Awwww, now it looks awesome, too!
If you feel the need for dressing, which I highly recommend against because it's basically empty calories, go with olive oil as a healthy alternative and make sure you only put on a light amount. Trust me, this salad is so flavorful you won't even need dressing!
So there you go. My half assed approach to sharing a recipe. Try it, let me know what you think. Also, if you have any blue or purple foods you can think of, let me know!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Random Life Updates
Hello one and all!
I've just been on a blogging spree lately, haven't I? Maybe it's all the free time I have before summer class starts again. Can't fill it all with exercise, can I? ;)
I have a few short updates I wanted to share really quick that don't really fit in anywhere else but I felt deserved an appearance in here. I have a few blog ideas I'm going to be working on posting soon so look for those!
First of all, I want to start by sending my condolences to anyone who has been affected by these crazy ass tornadoes the past few days. It hit here in Minneapolis not too far from where I live and thankfully, we didn't get hit as bad as other places like Joplin, Missouri. I would like to bring up an interesting thinking/discussion point: The weather lately has been erratic and highly out of the ordinary. Am I the only one who sees this as a product of climate change? I hope people wake up and start listening to the scientists who've been warning that yes, it really is happening!
I'm also really upset that this anti-marriage amendment is going to be up for a vote in Minnesota. I'll probably post a blog about it down the line but just know that angry Joey is ANGRY!!!! >:(
I finally ordered my ticket for Lollapalooza! I'm so excited to FINALLY be going this year! There's a great line up including Girl Talk, the Naked and Famous, Muse, Cold War Kids, Flogging Molly, Cee-Lo, and so many others! It'll be my second music festival this year, too! (I went to SXSW over spring break) And, best of all, I'll be 21! Lolla is a week after my 21st so I'll still be in legal boozing heaven haha. I'm not entirely sure who I'm going with yet but hopefully this won't be a solo trip.
In other exciting news, I have less than two weeks until Chelsea Handler! So excited to see her again! I'm reading her new book and it's HILARIOUS as always.
I've been doing a lot of StumbleUpon lately and, as a result, have come across many different recipes that I want to try. As I try them, I might share a few on here. Get ready for lots of delicious vegetarian cuisine!
That about wraps up that my random blog. Like I said, stay tuned because I have some great posts in store!
Oh, one more thing: No, I did not get raptured on Saturday. I guess Jesus doesn't like agnostics. =)
I've just been on a blogging spree lately, haven't I? Maybe it's all the free time I have before summer class starts again. Can't fill it all with exercise, can I? ;)
I have a few short updates I wanted to share really quick that don't really fit in anywhere else but I felt deserved an appearance in here. I have a few blog ideas I'm going to be working on posting soon so look for those!
First of all, I want to start by sending my condolences to anyone who has been affected by these crazy ass tornadoes the past few days. It hit here in Minneapolis not too far from where I live and thankfully, we didn't get hit as bad as other places like Joplin, Missouri. I would like to bring up an interesting thinking/discussion point: The weather lately has been erratic and highly out of the ordinary. Am I the only one who sees this as a product of climate change? I hope people wake up and start listening to the scientists who've been warning that yes, it really is happening!
I'm also really upset that this anti-marriage amendment is going to be up for a vote in Minnesota. I'll probably post a blog about it down the line but just know that angry Joey is ANGRY!!!! >:(
I finally ordered my ticket for Lollapalooza! I'm so excited to FINALLY be going this year! There's a great line up including Girl Talk, the Naked and Famous, Muse, Cold War Kids, Flogging Molly, Cee-Lo, and so many others! It'll be my second music festival this year, too! (I went to SXSW over spring break) And, best of all, I'll be 21! Lolla is a week after my 21st so I'll still be in legal boozing heaven haha. I'm not entirely sure who I'm going with yet but hopefully this won't be a solo trip.
In other exciting news, I have less than two weeks until Chelsea Handler! So excited to see her again! I'm reading her new book and it's HILARIOUS as always.
I've been doing a lot of StumbleUpon lately and, as a result, have come across many different recipes that I want to try. As I try them, I might share a few on here. Get ready for lots of delicious vegetarian cuisine!
That about wraps up that my random blog. Like I said, stay tuned because I have some great posts in store!
Oh, one more thing: No, I did not get raptured on Saturday. I guess Jesus doesn't like agnostics. =)
Friday, April 8, 2011
A comforting lie can't last
I'm on a bit of self improvement binge as of late, trying to rid my life of some of the negativity I have been experiencing and generally trying to make the world a more pleasant place. And that's why I've decided that it's time for me to stop my double life of sorts I've been living.
Those of you who know me fairly well know that in addition to being ignored, being lied to is one of the things that I find most hurtful and rude. I've also never been a fan of people who put on a facade, whether it be to seem like they're a good person but behind the scenes they're not or just to make someone like them. Well, I realize I've been doing these last two and it's time that it stops. Maybe this lie, the second face I've been putting on for some of you, is why I'm experiencing so many problems lately. Maybe it's not. But either way, this is my attempt at detoxifying my life.
Yes, as I'm sure all of you who I haven't already told suspected, I'm gay.
Now, I really don't want to make a big deal out of this. Why? Because it's not really central to who I am as far as I'm concerned. There are so many more interesting things about me. Like did you know that I'm an ordained reverend and can legally perform weddings? Much more interesting than who I'm potentially attracted to.
So please, don't make a big deal out of this. I've known for a long time. I'm still the same person I was before. My love of Metric, Canada, HIV advocacy, meeting new people, doing nerdy things like reading theoretical physics books for fun, Gwen Stefani, drinking like a fish, being a general badass, posting articles about current events and science that no one reads, yoga, the 7 Deadly Sins Games, randomly giving out complements to people I barely know on Facebook, and so many more things that really make up who I am haven't changed. I'm still the same old Joey, with all my quirks and flaws and positive attributes and my tendency to care a little too much about other people. I'm just finally able to show who I am in my entirety.
This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do partially because I've been scared of how people will react and partially because I'm not really friends with any guys, let alone gay ones, so I don't know what others have gone through. That's why I really appreciate any support you can give me.
I can assure you all of one thing:
Those of you who know me fairly well know that in addition to being ignored, being lied to is one of the things that I find most hurtful and rude. I've also never been a fan of people who put on a facade, whether it be to seem like they're a good person but behind the scenes they're not or just to make someone like them. Well, I realize I've been doing these last two and it's time that it stops. Maybe this lie, the second face I've been putting on for some of you, is why I'm experiencing so many problems lately. Maybe it's not. But either way, this is my attempt at detoxifying my life.
Yes, as I'm sure all of you who I haven't already told suspected, I'm gay.
Now, I really don't want to make a big deal out of this. Why? Because it's not really central to who I am as far as I'm concerned. There are so many more interesting things about me. Like did you know that I'm an ordained reverend and can legally perform weddings? Much more interesting than who I'm potentially attracted to.
So please, don't make a big deal out of this. I've known for a long time. I'm still the same person I was before. My love of Metric, Canada, HIV advocacy, meeting new people, doing nerdy things like reading theoretical physics books for fun, Gwen Stefani, drinking like a fish, being a general badass, posting articles about current events and science that no one reads, yoga, the 7 Deadly Sins Games, randomly giving out complements to people I barely know on Facebook, and so many more things that really make up who I am haven't changed. I'm still the same old Joey, with all my quirks and flaws and positive attributes and my tendency to care a little too much about other people. I'm just finally able to show who I am in my entirety.
This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do partially because I've been scared of how people will react and partially because I'm not really friends with any guys, let alone gay ones, so I don't know what others have gone through. That's why I really appreciate any support you can give me.
I can assure you all of one thing:
No more lies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)