The Joeys: Best of 2011

Ahhh it's that time of year again where year end lists are almost impossible to avoid if you use the internet (which you obviously do if you're reading this). While I find many of the lists that seem to pop up are rather idiotic ("The 10 STIs contracted by Snooki in 2011!"), I do enjoy a lot of the current events ones and I especially enjoy the music ones which is why I try to make an effort to make my own personal list of the best of the year. That and everyone REALLY, REALLY cares what I think.

Anyway, I will shut up now and just get to the goddamn list. I now present to you Joey Lusvardi's picks for the best music of 2011!

LIVE ACT OF THE YEAR

This year, I had the privilege of going to not one but TWO music festivals, SXSW in March and Lollapalooza in August. Obviously, I saw a LOT of bands at these two festivals which made picking my favorite that much more difficult. I went back and forth between a few but ultimately decided that the best band I saw this year was...

THE SOUNDS

I didn't find out the Sounds were going to be at SXSW until just before I left and let me tell you, I flipped a shit. The night we arrived, they were playing at a party hosted by a music blog and the crafty little Soundsie that I am managed to get in in time to catch them. I was pretty far back but still danced until sweat from myself and various strangers was dripping down my entire body. The next day, I happened to run into them on the street. I was pretty damn awkward but managed to get a hug and a picture of myself with Maja!

And, if that wasn't enough, the day before we left I SAW THEM AGAIN. Yep, they were so good I saw them TWICE in three days. There's just something about Maja and her sexy dancing, her awkward Swedish accent, and that she'll randomly throw swears out that's so appealing. Oh, that and Felix is kind of sexy. Don't get me wrong, there definitely artists I saw that were better musically and others that had more energy or had something really unique to offer but there's just something about the Sounds that no other artist can quite capture.

Honorable mentions:
Lykke Li: Another Swede who I saw twice and puts on a killer performance. I had my doubts about her but when I saw her at Lollapalooza, it was an instant "WOW."

Ellie Goulding: Speaking of instant wows at Lollapalooza, ELLIE GOULDING. I am OBSESSED with this woman. She's a talented musician and that carries over live. She even keeps her cool when unexpected things happen such as a fan dancing her way on stage and going for a boob grab.


The Joy Formidable: Another Lolla act. They are insane. The trio are all incredibly with the lead singer and guitarist, Ritzy, shredding like some sort of rock goddess on her guitar... which she then proceeded to bang repeatedly into a gong during their final song. And they had giant inflatable cats. What's not to love?!

The Head and the Heart: My big discovery at SXSW, these guys (and gal) create such such incredible harmonies that will either make you happy or drink a whole whiskey river to drown your sorrows. My adviser from work and I saw them on a whim and a recommendation from a friend (Thanks, Merrijoy!) and two songs in were ready to bring them to my school's campus.

BEST NEW ARTIST

Every year I discover countless new artists because I'm a whore... A music whore, that is. Some of them are awful and I hope they fall off the face of the earth and I never hear their noise again (Ke$hit, for example). Others remind me that there is hope for the future of music. The following artist exemplifies the latter.

ELLIE GOULDING

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, are friends with me on Facebook, talk to me, or spend a significant amount of time eavesdropping on me, you know that I'm obsessed with this woman. Obsessed probably is a strong enough word, to be honest. She is glorious in every way. First off, look at her. The woman is sexy as hell. You can't see her body in this picture but she runs five miles a day even when she's on tour so she's not just a pretty face. On a more musically relevant note, she is incredibly talented as well. She makes pop music but it doesn't sound like anything you'll hear from anyone else. Unlike so many pop musicians these days, she also plays a variety of instruments. And to top it off, she's great live. She was invited to play the royal wedding, the Nobel Peace Prize concert, AND the national Christmas tree lighting ceremony this past year. Oh and her cover of Elton John's "Your Song" topped the charts in the UK. Pretty impressive for someone who hasn't been around too long, right?

Honorable mentions:

The Naked and Famous: These guys are pretty great, too. They remind me a little of the New Pornographers but, in my opinion, better. They have a nice electronic/alternative sound and have both male and female vocalists which I find quite enjoyable in a band.

The Joy Formidable: I already sang their praises in the last honorable mentions but they really deserve it again. Their whole album, The Big Roar, is a fantastic female-fronted-but-still-has-more-balls-than-most-of-the-men-I-know rock powerhouse.

The Head and the Heart: These guys are fantastic live, fantastic musically, and fantastic people (They were all really nice when I met them).

SONG OF THE YEAR

This one and album of the year are by far the most important of all of my musical picks. One song that defines an entire year? Shit, that's a pretty hefty decision to make! And with so many great songs and strong releases by a huge variety of artists, there was a huge pool to pick from.

"WHIRRING" BY THE JOY FORMIDABLE

Awwww, look at how cute Ritzy, the lead singer of the Joy Formidable, is!! She's just an adorable English woman, probably a nurse or a teacher or something non-threatening, right? WRONG. You are so fucking wrong.

See how wrong you were?

Ritzy is the definition of badass. Simply being in her mere presence is like some sort of rock-and-roll religious experience. Her badass nature is especially apparent in"Whirring," a six minute rock opera, for lack of better words to describe this masterpiece. Remember earlier when I talked about her slamming her guitar into a gong during the final song of their Lolla set? Yeah, this was that song. Any song that evokes guitar slamming is a great song in my book. The song starts out with two minutes of Ritzy's vocals along with some great guitar playing but it gets REALLY great for the last portion when the singing stops and the song becomes one giant guitar solo. And I'm not talking your grandmother's guitar solo, assuming your grandmother was/is into music that includes a guitar solo. It's more like... Fuck it, just go listen to the song. Even if you've heard it before, go listen again. You'll see what I mean.

Honorable mentions:

"The No No Song" by the Sounds: For those who remember my halfway through 2011 best of list, this song was my pick for the best song so far (I hadn't heard "Whirring" at that point). It has everything I love in a song: Angry female vocals, synths, guitars, and sexy, sexy Swedes.

"Polish Girl" by Neon Indian: A friend sent this song to me a few months back and I've been listening to it non-stop ever since. It's got a really cool electronic beat and their lead singer's voice is like silk. If I could sex his voice, I would.

"Toes" by Lights: I love Lights. She's cute, has tattoos, and plays Zelda. Oh, and she's got a great voice and makes awesome indie pop music. This song was the first one I heard from her new album, Siberia, and it still is my favorite. It's a really cute crush song that very accurately describes the feeling of being interested in someone new.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

What's harder to do than make one great song? Make 10+ of them and put them all on the same record. Like I've said, 2011 was a great year in music. So which artist made the best collection of songs from the past 365 days?

"THE HEAD AND THE HEART" BY THE HEAD AND THE HEART

You should've seen this coming by the number of times I've mentioned them already. This band is fucking incredible. How my ears lived without them remains a mystery. Their self-titled debut is one of those rare albums that I like every song on it. Every song. There's not one that I feel so-so about or think really sucks. THEY'RE ALL GREAT. There are upbeat songs ("Cats and Dogs," "Ghosts") and mellow, low key ones ("Rivers and Roads," "Winter Song") to fit any mood, any life situation, anything you feel like listening to. If this album isn't in your music collection and this band not on your radar, you're missing out on what I'm confident will be one of the greatest bands of our time.

Honorable mentions:

"Metals" by Feist: For those are familiar with Feist, you'll recognize her distinctive sound on this album. However, she still continues to grow and explore new sounds and improve (as if that's possible) on previous work.

"Ceremonials" by Florence + The Machine: Yep, Florence's sophomore album is pretty great. She makes me question whether or not the sophomore slump is real. Give "Spectrum" a listen.

"Wounded Rhymes" by Lykke Li: Another indie pop gem. This album got Lykke a lot of well deserved press this year and it translates well live. Songs range from upbeat ("Get Some") to romantic ("I Know Places") to absolutely heart wrenching ("Unrequited Love").

"Departing" by the Rural Alberta Advantage: Ahhh, Canadians... How I love thee and your music. I saw these guys twice this year, too, and they were great. "Departing" is just as good as their first album. Nils' voice is very distinctive and unique and Amy and Paul are both great musicians.

"Catching a Tiger" by Lissie: I love Lissie and this album is fantastic. It's very rock filled and Lissie is a really kickass chick. She seems really cool, too.

MOST ANTICIPATED ALBUM OF 2012

2012 is already looking to be a great year for music and it hasn't even begun yet. So great, in fact, that I couldn't pick just one most anticipated album and need to pick two. Oh, that and my two favorite bands have albums due out in 2012.

NO DOUBT AND METRIC

Oh lord, I've been waiting for a new No Doubt album for about as long as I can remember. AND IT'S FINALLY, FINALLY GOING TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR. The band says that they've made significant progress and... I can't wait. I'm literally going to wait outside of the store to buy this album the day it comes out. I'll probably buy like six copies actually.

Metric... How they can follow up after "Fantasies" remains a mystery. However, I remain confident that they will made another impossibly great album. Emily recently said that the album is due out in April which means I should probably start saving up for possible trips to see them at various festivals. Oh, and that means that there's hope for my dream of them touring with No Doubt, right?!

Thus concludes my list for the year. I'm sure there's tons of music I missed but I'm only one person. Here's to 2011 and to an excellent 2012!

#40ThingsAboutMe Part 4

It's the final installment of my riveting blog series full of facts about yours truly! I know, everyone's sad.

31. Watermelon is one of my favorite foods.

32. Celebrities/pseudo-celebrities/bands I have met: Hilary Clinton, Al Franken, Metric, Chelsea Handler, Kenny from the Starting Line, most of Motion City Soundtrack, Hal Sparks, the lead singer of Metro Station, 4 of the members of Broken Social Scene, Hot Hot Heat, OK Go, the Sounds, the Head and the Heart... and others I can't think of right now.

33. I used to have 3000+ origami cranes hanging from my bedroom ceiling but they kept falling and it was too much work to keep up with rehanging them.

34. I find it incredibly annoying when people are like, "ZOMG, MY HOROSCOPE TOTALLY DESCRIBED MY DAY!!!" They're written so generically that they can apply to anyone. It's sad that people put such stock in a pseudo-science.

35. I eat a lot of spinach.

36. It really annoys me when people say things like, "I'm praying that someone goes and picks up my drunk friend so he doesn't have to drive!" Ummmmm... how about instead of relying on your invisible friend you go do it yourself if you're so concerned? Don't use religion as a crutch for laziness.

37. When I was younger, a friend tried to convince me she had diabetes. I believed her for a while until I saw her eat an entire bag of Skittles and she tried to convince me it was because she had "light switch diabetes" that could be turned on or off. Now I'm suspicious of people who tell me they have diabetes until they show me proof.

38. When I'm cooking, I tend to skip measuring things and just kind of approximate. It's less stressful and once you've been cooking enough it generally turns out alright.

39. Speaking of cooking, I can't make the following seemingly simple foods: cookies, pancakes, any sort of roux.

40. I really hate the name Jesse (for guys). I don't think I could ever date a guy with that name.

#40ThingsAboutMe Part 3

21. I have four tattoos and each one of them has special meaning to me.

22. I LOVE discovering new bands. Recently (read: yesterday) I discovered the Joy Formidable and I don't really understand how they managed to slip under my radar for so long. They're a hard rocking female fronted band. That's like a description of the music I like.

23. When I was in 4th grade, I read a scary story in a book of scary stories about a kid that poured vinegar down an anthill and the next day, he saw an anthill that spelled the word "HATE." Later that night, he woke up and was covered in ants. You can figure out what happened next. Even to this day and even though I'm generally more rational than that, I still get a slight rush of fear each time I step on an ant because I'm scared they will get me.

24. One of my lifetime goals is to live in a house with a secret passage.

25. In high school, my friend Molly and I used to play this game where we'd have someone name something random and we'd try to turn whatever they said into something dirty in less than 5 sentences. It got to the point where we'd be able to do it consistently in 2.

26. I can't watch other people go on Facebook because their Facebooking styles will drive me insane. I can't stand leaving friend requests, event invites, and notifications unresponded to.

27. I have a weird obsession with Canada... even though I've never been there. A lot of it has to do with the music that I listen to because a significant portion of my music is by Canadian artists. Also, everyone I've met from Canada with very few exceptions has been super fun, outgoing, warm, and friendly. I wish I could say that of more Americans.

28. I get really annoyed when I ask someone what kind of music they like and they respond with, "Everything!" or "Whatever's on the radio." First of all, no, you don't like all music. Everyone has music they don't like. Second, the reason most people ask what kind of music you like is to see if you have anything in common and responding with just "everything" gets you nowhere. Third, and this really only applies to the last one, but I find it really frustrating when people just listen to what they're told to listen to. There are a lot of great bands out there that you'll probably like that don't get mainstream radio exposure. Go discover what YOU actually like. If that happens to be on the radio, great. But if you're too lazy to actually discover what you like to listen to... we probably won't get along.

29. I wish I had gotten into snowboarding at a younger age. I'm still pretty awful and I feel like I've been doing it for long enough that I should be much better than I am.

30. I become attached to things too easily and it causes me a lot of angst.

#40ThingsAboutMe Part 2

I'm supposed to be studying for my organic chemistry test on Thursday... but obviously I'm going to procrastinate by blogging. Here's part 2 of my 40 facts thing!

11. Even though I'm really inflexible, yoga is probably my favorite form of exercise. It burns a lot of calories and builds strength at the same time. One of the things I'm most proud of is going from barely being able to do bridge pose to being able to get into a full wheel.

12. I usually don't crave potato chips or sugary foods like most people do. Instead, I'll randomly crave foods such as (but not limited to) watermelon, strawberries, lentils, peanut butter, spinach, corn, and carrots.

13. The quickest way to piss me off is to not return a text, call, etc. or to just blatantly ignore me. I'd rather you had the respect (if you can call it that) to lie to me about having plans if you don't want to do something than just not respond.

14. I HATE talking on the phone. Please, for the love of Shiva, text me instead of calling me.

15. No Doubt and Metric have had an indescribable impact on my life. I've met so many amazing people because of them and have had incredible experiences because of both of them. Their impact on my life has been absolutely one of the most positive things to ever happen. People often wonder why I'm so passionate about them (and I often get made fun of for this passion) and THIS IS WHY. It goes beyond the music. It's the community and the bonds with people that make them so special.

16. When I was younger, I used to think that I would never end up drinking. Well... things have changed haha.

17. My oldest brother is becoming a Catholic priest. Needless to say, our worldviews are in extreme conflict.

18. Smoking=Instant turn off.

19. I really like gardening. Not so much the actual process of digging in the dirt and what not, but I like seeing the results.

20. I've never kissed someone I'm legitimately attracted to. I've either been drunk or just gone along with it because I liked that I was getting attention from a guy.

#40ThingsAboutMe Part 1

One of the trending topics on Twitter right now is #40ThingsAboutMe. Twitter limits your posts to 140 characters, however, so it's pretty much impossible to fit 40 facts into a single tweet and tweeting 40 times in a row makes you a real asshole so I've decided to share my 40 facts in blog form. This provides the double benefit of allowing everyone to come back and read it whenever they want. So go ahead, memorize away!

Actually, please don't memorize because that's a little creepy.

Also, due to laziness and lack of ideas for blogs, I'm going to break this into four parts. So here are 10 facts for now. Read and enjoy.

1. I have an irrational fear of getting diabetes. When I was younger, I used to be terrified of sugar because I was completely convinced it would make me diabetic. Obviously I still ate it, I just at it in terror.

2. One time I sang backing vocals on stage with a small group of other people for Jenny Lewis.

3. The band I've seen live the most times is Motion City Soundtrack, followed by Paramore.

4. I have a lot of social anxiety. I have a hard time starting a conversation with someone I don't know well.

5. I'm especially bad at talking to guys, even if I'm not interested in them in a romantic way. I will, without failure, read into everything as a sign that they hate me.

6. If I am interested in you, I show it in weird ways and I become highly terrified of you. More than anything, I probably will become really awkward and subdued when I talk to you.

7. Mushrooms are the bane of my existence. How anyone can actually enjoy them is beyond me.

8. Online shopping will be my downfall. There's something really exciting about clicking purchase and then the anticipation of it coming in the mail... Ohhhhhh yeah!

9. I LOVE science and I share a lot of articles about it on my various social networking accounts. I feel like it annoys a lot of people but I really don't care. Science rules, man.

10. I take lots of naps. Not just 20 minute naps but more like 3 hour naps. If it were for the need to eat, exercise, and go to the bathroom, I'd probably sleep all day.

CARDIO, Y U NO BE MORE EXCITING?!

As I so often seem to start sentences in here, I'm going to start another one with "For those of you who..."

For those of you who don't pay attention, know me at all, or are just mildly mentally challenged, I enjoy fitness and exercising. And by enjoy it, I mean I force myself to do it in the hopes of some day attracting a male... even Jillian Michaels has admitted that she doesn't like to work out (or at least that's what an ad on a website told me). My point is that I'm really into fitness. However, lately I've been really lacking the motivation to do most of my cardio workouts. I don't want to run. Running is so... bleh and repetitive.

So, like any person who lacks a social life off the internet, I'm turning to you, my wonderful blog readers and Twitter randos and randos from Germany (seriously, I keep getting random views on here from Germany) for some advice. What the fuck do I do for cardio that's less dull? Keep in mind that I'm cheap and fairly poor so I don't want to go shoveling out a ton of money for new equipment unless it's gonna get me really ripped.

I'm also open to new forms of non-cardio exercise as well (know a great yoga place that's cheap? LET ME KNOW). Doing the same things over and over gets old fast.

You can call me Dr. Phil

 "Only hang out with people you like. I learned this and it changed my life."

-Emily Haines

Most people think of summer as a time to relax and unwind but, I, on the other hand, seem to always have this crazy notion that I should take summer classes. Needless to say, this makes my summer significantly less exciting especially when the class I'm taking this summer is O chem II. I'm gonna keep it real, it's not really going the greatest. It's not that I'm not trying or anything but I just don't get it.  Every time I'm asked, "How would you perform this synthesis?" I feel like, rather than attempting to bullshit my way through a synthesis, I'd be better off just writing, "I would ask someone who actually understands chemistry to do it."

Last night I actually emerged from my study shell (and by emerged from my study shell, I mean last night was one of the three nights a year when someone was like, "Gee, Joey still exists. Maybe we should call him!") for a while. We were in some rando's backyard and somehow the subject of prom came up. One of my friends mentioned that she didn't enjoy her prom because she didn't really want to spend time with her boyfriend and would have rather gone with her friends.

For some reason, this statement jarred me. I'm no relationship expert, largely because I have yet to find someone who's desperate enough to date me, but I feel like my almost complete degree in psychology and the fact that I passed social psych brings me pretty damn close, right? I've always been of the school of thought that you really shouldn't be dating someone that you don't want to spend time with because you can only have sex for so many hours in a day (and even then, sex as a foundation for a relationship generally doesn't lead to anything stable) and you'll be spending plenty of time with each other so shouldn't you actually look forward to that time?

Apparently, not everyone thinks this way because I know WAY too many people aren't dating someone who they genuinely like outside of the bedroom. I've always said that I don't want to rush into a relationship with someone because I want to have the foundation of a genuine friendship but it seems like too many many people are waaaay to eager to get right into a relationship or each others' pants.

Now, I may be biased in this last statement because of the types of guys I tend to attract. For some reason, the stage 5 clingers are really into me. I don't really know why this is because I have a tendency to make my annoyance very clear but they persist. Maybe I have a musk that tells guys that I like being texted, "Hey, what's up? How are you? What are you thinking? What are you feeling?" three times a day or maybe it's what I get for trying to be nice to most people. Either way, I have a low threshold for that and I quickly lose any mild interest I may have had before.

My point is that people need to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN and take time to get to know each other. Studies have shown that couples who are friends tend to last longer and quite honestly, you didn't need to do an empirical study to tell me that. It seems kind of... duh? The reasoning behind this may be because there are two different kinds of love that play a key role in intimate relationships. The first kind is passionate love, and, as the name suggests, this is the "OMG I WANT TO HUMP YOUR BRAINS OUT!!!!" kind of love. I don't remember the exact length of time but it doesn't exactly last a long period. Like your passion, your relationship will probably fizzle unless there's a strong foundation of companionate love. This is the kind of love where you genuinely care about the other person and what they think, feel, etc. This is the kind of love found in deep friendships and generally lasts a lot longer than passionate love (and actually grows over time). Without it, your relationship will not work for an extended period and I've never seen the point of getting into a relationship I knew would fail.

To sum things up, if you find someone that you're interested in dating, take the time to actually get to know them. You'll be glad you did because in the long run your relationship will be stronger. If things don't work out between you and them, hey, that's okay. Some people don't work out together. You'll probably find someone else and if you don't, there's always cats!

Casey Anthony: Justice served?

I'd like to start out with a request: If you disagree with me on anything I say here, please feel free to speak your mind but be intelligent and respectful about it. The internet seems to have made people lose their ability to disagree while still respecting each other.

Those of you who don't live in a hole (which, seeing as you're reading this on the internet, I'm guessing is all of you) have no doubt heard by now the verdict of the Casey Anthony trial. Based on the reaction I've seen on Facebook and Twitter, people are livid about the verdict and seem to think that justice has not been served.

I'd argue, however, that justice was served. Now before you all lynch me, a common misconception needs to be cleared up. Many people assume that "not guilty" and "innocent" are the same thing when, in fact, they are not. A ruling of not guilty does NOT imply that the jury thinks the defendant is innocent. What it does mean is that the prosecution did not prove their case that the crime in question was committed. In lay terms, these two may mean the same thing but in legal terms, they're not. I liken this to the scientific concept of a theory and the lay conception of a theory. The two are COMPLETELY different and the lay conception of a theory is actually closer to the scientific term "hypothesis."

In this case, the prosecution really only had circumstantial evidence and they could not prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Casey murdered her daughter. In other words, there are possible other explanations that are not completely out of nowhere ("The devil made her do it!!!!") that cannot be dismissed based on the evidence presented. The burden of proof rested on the prosecution and they failed to prove their case.

Some have accused this as being a flaw in the legal system and, again, I'd argue the opposite as it protects the innocent from being accused of a crime they did not commit and being incarcerated for it (***Special note: I am NOT implying that Casey Anthony is innocent***). This is where the concept of "innocent until guilty" comes into our legal system. If we had the opposite, guilty until proven innocent, people could be accused of any crime that they did not necessarily commit and be thrown into jail.

Believe it or not, we actually had this system at one point in our country. Think back to Salem, MA when people were being accused of being witches and then burned unless they could prove their innocence (which, in most cases, they could not). This is an example of the "guilty until proven innocent" system and it was essentially chaos.

To continue the science metaphor I brought up earlier, in science, you can't just make a claim and expect people to find evidence to disprove it. The opposite is true: You have to find evidence showing that your hypothesis is likely beyond a reasonable doubt and the same holds true in our legal system.

So did Casey Anthony get away with murder? Maybe. But we can't say beyond a reasonable doubt that she's guilty. As upsetting as it may be, the system worked. The prosecution needed to step up their game to prove their case and they didn't. But the way the system is designed, the most functional system we've been able to develop as a species so far, worked.

Am I saying that this is not a tragic situation? No. Regardless of how she died or if she was murdered, it is a tragedy that Caylee's life was cut short and this is a wake up call to all of us to take better care of our children and be wary of suspicious behavior that could put others in danger.

Best of 2011 So Far

Holy moly, it's already July! Where did the time go? The year is already halfway over! It also means that I'm just a few weeks away from turning 21 and I'll be able to taste alcohol for the first time ever!!!!

As I'm sure many other bloggers do, I'm going to take this opportunity to reflect on some of the great music that's been released so far this year by picking a favorite album, song, and live act as well as give some props to some of my favorite new discoveries thus far this year. Obviously these are not final because there's still six months to go which will be including Lollapalooza, a new No Doubt album (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and many other releases and shows. Who knows, by the end of the year these might seem like complete and utter shit... but I doubt that =)

Best Album (So Far)
The first six months have included releases by two of my favorite artists, the Sounds and Lady Gaga. Needless to say I was pretty much giddy for these albums to come out and when they did... I kinda got blue ballsed a bit. They were decent, don't get me wrong, and they both have some great songs on them (From the Sounds Something to Die For album, I recommend "The No-No Song," "Wish You Were Here," and "Better Off Dead." From Gaga's Born This Way, "Americano," "Marry the Night," "Government Hooker," "You and I," "Shei(weird German symbol that looks like a B)e,"and "Edge of Glory" stand out) but as a whole, neither of them was spectacular as far as I'm concerned. Some stronger releases came from Yelle, Cold War Kids, and the Rural Alberta Advantage. In fact, the Rural Alberta Advantage would probably be my favorite album this year if I hadn't spontaneously gone to see a band known as the Head and the Heart at SXSW and become absolutely obsessed.

Seriously, these guys are AMAZING and their self titled debut is one of those rare albums that I like every song on it. They played an acoustic set at the Electric Fetus in Minneapolis last month and it was incredible. I had the chance to talk with them for a minute after and they were incredibly nice and down to earth.

Best Song (So Far)
This one is a bit harder to choose from because there have been a few songs that I've had on repeat. "The Edge of Glory" by Lady Gaga is just... fucking genius. It's like an 80's throwback and, while she gets criticized for that, I personally really enjoy it. Other favorites that didn't quite make the cut include, "The Bay" by Metronomy, "Louder Than Ever" by Cold War Kids, "Cardiac Arrest" by Teddybears feat. Robyn, "Breaking and Entering" by Tonight Alive and "Muscle Relaxants" by the Rural Alberta Advantage but my favorite, which has found a place as one of the few non-Metric songs on my most played list, is "The No-No Song" by the Sounds. It's. So. Damn. Catchy. And best of all it includes my favorite musical element, angry female vocals! Stick it to whoever hurt you, Maja! You can have me. Seriously. I wouldn't say no.

Best Live Act
As I've mentioned in the past, I went to SXSW and that's where I saw my favorite live act so far... twice. Yes, it's the Sounds! They have so much energy and what's there not to love about a group of sexy, sweaty Swedes with a ton of energy? Nothing. I finally got to see Maja's legs up close and in person and THEY ARE EVEN BETTER THAN I IMAGINED. The other thing Maja is semi-known for is her ability to chain smoke through a whole set and, while I normally find cigarettes incredibly disgusting, I was more than a bit turned on. If that's not enough, I randomly ran into them on the street and got this picture with Maja!

Isn't she gorgeous?! She was incredibly nice, too. I always find that makes me like a band that much more because there are some asshole musicians out there.


Some New Favorites
I'm not going to pick just one for this category because there are so many great ones. This list is far from complete but here's a sample:

The Head and the Heart- But I've already talked about them enough.

The Naked and Famous- I discovered them early in the year and I'm just going to attribute it to Merrijoy because she's one of two people I know who understand how AWESOME they are.


Ellie Goulding- HOLY MOTHER OF SHIVA I LOVE HER. How did I not hear about her before?! She might be my favorite Brit. When she sings, she still maintains her British accent but it's not annoying as accents sometimes can be. She does a cover of "Your Song" by Elton John and the video for it on YouTube... Oh man. She's too cute for words.

Dessa- She's another one who I don't know how I missed her before. She's a rapper from Minneapolis and she's just incredible... and that's coming from someone who generally doesn't enjoy rap.


The Book of Mormon- Okay, so this isn't a band, it's a musical. But it's earned a spot as one of the two musicals I actually like (the other being Avenue Q). Hasa Diga Eebowai is... just glorious. Go look it up.

Aaaaand those are my favorites so far. What have been some of yours? Do share! I'm always looking for new music!

Pride 2011

This weekend was the Twin Cities' Pride festival and I felt heavily pressure by, surprisingly, my straight friends to go. So I did. Yay.

For those of you who don't know me well, I've never really felt much of a connection with the gay community. It's generally because I really don't have many things in common with other gay men aside from my love of Lady Gaga and, honestly, I find them pretty annoying. Gay men are everything I dislike about men (which, granted, is pretty much everything) combined with everything I find unattractive/dislike about women.

Lesbians, on the other hand, I love. Seriously, they rule. They're the few things I like about men combined with the very many things I like about women... and, best of all, there's no physical attraction from either direction so things never get weird! Woo hoo!

Anyway, so I went to Pride this weekend and it was kind of fun I guess. I did some volunteering and met some awesome lesbians. However, if I never see glitter or hear music that could easily serve as the soundtrack for a porno, I'd be completely okay with that. There was one story in particular that I wanted to share because I think it teaches an important lesson.

It's no secret that I'm a pretty hardcore agnostic and am not a fan of religion and especially Christianity as it seems to be obsessed with denying gays rights... or at least that's how many of it's followers choose to interpret it. I was pretty much expecting there to be tons of those crazy religious people with their "Stop sinning!" signs. Surprisingly, I saw none all weekend. What I did see, however, was a ton of Christians handing out free water and just generally being accepting and telling everyone there that they accepted and loved them regardless of their sexual orientation and that they just wanted them to be happy. It's been a while since my Catholic school days and I've been using my Bible as a paper weight, but I feel like that's what Jesus would want, as well as a supposedly all-loving God.

The take home lesson is to just accept others and also to act in (positive) ways that break stereotypes. You might have, at the very least, a slightly less negative opinion of that group.

That's all I wanted to share. Now, I'm going to go back to having nothing to do with the gay community for the rest of the year.

Taco Tuesday!

I meant to post this earlier but, sadly, my life has been once again consumed by school. Why did I think it was a good idea to take organic chemistry in the summer? I must've taken some whacky pills that day. Anyway, I have a test Thursday so I'm really studying hard... as evidenced by me writing this blog post.

Anywho, a few nights ago I found myself having to cook for myself. For someone who's living at home for the summer, I found this quite distressing as I am used to my parents preparing most meals for me. Luckily for me, my mommy and I happened to go on a trip to Whole Foods in the recent past so I knew I had some delicious organic tortillas in my fridge. Perfect for tacos!

And then I remembered I'm a vegetarian. Fuck.

For those of you who have never been underwhelmed by a vegetarian taco they're generally not that exciting and usually consist of cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. Woo.

Thankfully, the taco is the most versatile fruit so I decided to improvise based on what I happened to have in the fridge. I came up with organic asparagus, red, orange, and yellow peppers, and summer squash. I chopped these up and decided I should probably cook them. (Can you even eat raw asparagus?) I got out a pan and put some olive oil in it and sauteed (or whatever the fancy cooking term is) them for... well, I didn't keep track of the amount of time. You can't rely on me for all the answers, discover things for yourself, man!!! But to give you an idea of when they're done... whenever the fuck you feel like it. I mean... you can just put them in there for two minutes and basically just get a bunch of hot vegetables and, hey, if you're cool with that then I'm cool with that! I accept you for who you are. Otherwise try cooking them until you poke them with a stirring utensil. And you might want to look for them to change appearance a little bit. But not too much!!! If they start to turn brown and smoke then FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP COOKING THEM.

So now you have a bunch of vegetables that are somewhere on the moderately warm to singed spectrum. Now, put everything into the taco. That's what she said. To add variety, flavor, and, most importantly, some additional nutrients I think sprinkled some cheese on top. I used sharp cheddar because I like the strong flavor but you can use whichever cheese moves you. I'm not the Cheese Nazi who tells you what kind of cheese to like. I also discovered some organic spinach salad mix in my fridge as I was putting the cheese back and decided to add that as well.

And with that, the tacos were finished!

So I ate them.

And it was like a vegetabley cheesey food sex explosion in my mouth.

I thought of maybe adding beans next time I make them but why fix what's not broken? However, in your taco-ing life feel free to try whatever you would like and share some suggestions with me!

Speaking of sharing, I have one last thing to share with you all. I thought this was appropriate given today's topic.



Enjoy the rest of your week.

For those of you who are unaware, I've recently developed an obsession with this YouTube show called "My Drunk Kitchen." The premise that this girl gets drunk and cooks things and films it. It's pretty freakin' great. Well, there happens to be a new episode today so I wanted to share it with you before I got into the real meat of today's blog.




Isn't she great?! I love her. I want to keep her in a jar in my room.

Now that I've shared the joy of MDK, it's time to move on to a more serious topic. I know, I know, it's rare that I have serious blogs because I'm so fucking entertaining.

For those of you who don't follow me on Twitter, lately I've been posting a lot of rather depressing statuses (Basically, I've turned into this whiny thirteen year old fat emo girl). I know they're annoying and I know it seems like I'm... well, a whiny thirteen year old fat emo girl. I also realize that lately I've been really irritable lately. I'm snapping at people, I'm making vicious sarcastic comments, I'm not commenting or tweeting or texting back, I'm being really anti-social... Basically, I'm becoming a real asshole.

Well, more of a real asshole than I usually am.

I've also become a tad paranoid and have gotten mad at people for stupid things like not responding to a Facebook event invite or whatever... Stuff that, while annoying, doesn't warrant the kind of reaction I've been having. In addition, I've felt the need to obsessively write on people's walls, comment or like everything, etc. because I feel like everyone is abandoning me for completely irrational reasons.

I guess I just really wanted to apologize for how I've been acting lately. There's been a lot of negative stuff in my life lately that I've been struggling with and it honestly has been getting worse rather than better. I'm trying to work through it but it's a long, difficult process. So if I snap at you or whatever, don't take it personally. It really is my issue more than anything else and you're probably doing nothing wrong. I don't know why I take things out on the people I love, but that's what always ends up happening. I'm trying to stop, I really am.

Life has been a struggle lately for me. I don't want to go into details of what's been going on, and I'm sure most of you probably don't want to hear it, but things are getting bad. Some days, I won't get out of bed until 4 because I just don't see the point or feel like dealing with reality. Hopefully, someday I'll get better. Hopefully.

Live fast, die young?

I'd like to start out with some exciting news... I found another purple food!!!! Apparently, one variety of kale is partially purple. Who knew?! Obviously I had to pick up a bunch and now I'm looking for something to do with it because... what the fuck do you do with kale?

Anyway, I read a disturbing article today that the US is WAY behind other developed countries as far as our life expectancies go. I found this a bit shocking because I've always been told that we had one of the highest life expectancies. As I got near the end of the article, it became clear why ours is so low: Obesity (as well as smoking). This leads to today's angry Joey rant.

*clears throat*

GET OFF YOUR LAZY FUCKING ASSES AMERICANS AND STOP EATING SUCH CRAP. Yeah, I know it's a lot more fun to sit around and eat chocolate and ice cream and deep fried shit all day but do you realize what it's doing to your body?! It's disgusting. So suck it the fuck up and MOVE. You can spare half an hour a day for activity. And fuck, you can even take two days off a week and still be fine! And quit bitching about how healthy food tastes like shit. Ever thought that maybe you're not doing it right? DON'T BLAME CARROTS.

What's amazes the fuck out of me is how people still manage to be lard asses even though we have tons of resources for them to loose weight and stay at least relatively healthy. I mean, running is FUCKING FREE. GO DO IT. You can look up yoga videos online FOR FREE. You can get a Jillian Michaels DVD for like $10. You don't need a gym! Just get out there and MOVE. And stop eating at McDonalds. We all know how crappy it is.





This concludes our Joey rant for today. Thank you for your time.

The (Facebook) Bystander Effect

It's a Saturday night and so far this evening I ran 8 miles, chased a rabbit around the yard, and learned the medical term for man-boobs. One thing I did not do, however, is have any sort of social contact minus a few texts seeing if some friends were free this evening (Obviously they were not).

I know you're probably thinking, "Oh God, Joey's going to bitch about not having friends again." While most of the time you would be right (Let's be honest: I'm pretty damn good at bitching) bear with me because this is actually going somewhere productive.

Anyway, where was I? Oh right, not having a social life. So here I was, sitting by my lonesome when I got the idea to post something on Facebook seeing if anyone wanted to hang out. Despite posting the most witty, insightful, and though provoking status I could, no one responded. Whomp whomp. This isn't the first time this has happened, nor will it be the last. I was pondering why the fuck this kept happening when two explanations came into my head:

(Actually, quite a few more came into my head. But these seemed the most likely. I don't think all my friends being abducted by aliens and replaced with illiterate sheep who have hacked into their Facebook accounts is very plausible).

The first explanation is that I'm completely unbearable to be around because I'm annoying as all fuck, smell, am ugly as sin, a real asshole, hated by everyone, or some combination there of. While this is definitely a viable theory because no one wants to to spend time with people with those traits, it's more than likely a product of my paranoia because sometimes I convince myself of some pretty ridiculous things.

I decided to think a little more rationally for an explanation. Suddenly, it hit me as I thought back to my social psychology class and something known as the bystander effect.

Those of you who haven't taken social psychology or even introductory psychology are probably thinking, "What the fuck is the bystander effect?" ...or some variant of that. The bystander effect is an interesting phenomena that occurs when people are confronted with an emergency situation in which someone else needs help. If there's just one person there, they will be significantly more likely to attempt to help than if there is a group of people around. This is believed to occur because when more people are around, people feel less personally obligated to help and the sense of responsibility is diffused throughout the group. Unfortunately, this usually results in no one helping. An example of this from my social psych class was this chick named Feline Genwjwthaiothabgtasjgnasg, or something like that, who was murdered in an alley in New York and, despite crying for help, none of her neighbors called the police.

So what the hell does this have to do with my Facebook post? Think about the way Facebook works: We each have a couple hundred (or, for those who are particularly insecure, a couple thousand) friends that all of our status updates, links, etc. get sent out to. Each of those friends has a couple hundred/thousand friends (again, depending on their level of insecurity). Each of these friends acts as a bystander of sorts and thus everyone develops a, "Oh, someone else will respond" attitude and no one responds even if they may be bored and looking for something to do. I am coining this "the Facebook bystander effect."

Another example from my life was back in March when I was looking for someone to see Girl Talk with me. I posted repeatedly on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to go with me because the person I was originally going with was no longer able to go. Bear in mind that GT sold out two back to back shows in Minneapolis. How many people do you think responded? ZERO. Thankfully, I ran into my friend Edwina (isn't her name AWESOME?!) and she told me she wanted to go. I asked why she didn't respond on Facebook and she said, "Oh, I thought someone else would want to go so I figured I'd wait and see." Like in the real life bystander effect, there were many virtual bystanders so she had just assumed that someone else would respond because of a sort of diffusion of responsibility (although in this case there's no responsibility, but to keep in the context of the original bystander effect I'll use that term).

Now, I realize this is quite the stretch to go from a real life emergency to something as silly as Facebook but think about it abstractly and you'll see that the general concept, the more people there are the less likely someone will act, carries over. Of course, there are other problems. My thinking is in no way based on any empirical evidence because I don't have fucking time to do experiments for fun. I do think the anecdotal evidence suggests there may be something there. Also, it is based off of a theory that actually has empirical evidence behind it. So if any of you happen to be a researcher and want to test this theory out, let me know! *wink wink nudge nudge*

There are some other applications of the Facebook bystander effect that, assuming it's actually happening, I'd be interested in exploring as well. For example, does this still happen if the person making the post has few friends? Are people more likely to respond if they themselves have few friends? What factors can increase responsiveness to a request on Facebook (humor, invoking a sense of obligation, etc.)? How many people would respond to an actual emergency request on Facebook ("The baby's coming! Someone take me to the hospital!") and would responsiveness be affected by any of the above listed factors? Does having a picture of a sexy bikini model increase the likelihood of a response?

Finally, how can this effect be countered? Research would need to be done to make a reliable judgment of whether variations in wording or tone could result in more responses. The best way to counter the Facebook bystander effect would be to make very specific requests. In the actual bystander effect, instead of shouting, "Somebody help me!" it would be a better idea to pick one person out and point to them and shout, "Hey asswipe in the red scarf, call the police!" Okay, maybe don't call them asswipe. But you catch my drift, right?

To apply this to Facebook, instead of posting a status saying, "I'm bored. Someone want to go fly fishing?!" it would be more effective to write on one person's wall, send them a message, use the chat feature, tag them in a post, text them, use a carrier pigeon, address them specifically via smoke signals, etc. I can't promise that this will get you results, however, because it seems like people are too lazy/big of assholes to respond to texts and what not... But that's a whole different blog =)

Another way to overcome the bystander effect may to just simply be aware of it so you can consciously make an effort to notice if it is happening and hopefully act against it. So the take home message is that if you see someone who's looking for something to do or someone to go see a show with on Facebook, don't just assume someone else is going to respond and do it yourself. Chances are, everyone else is thinking, "Someone else is going to respond so why bother?" This especially applies if it's something I post. I always love comments and responses, which is why I obsessively do it on other peoples' posts all the time.

If anyone actually decides to put my little theory to the test, let me know how it goes. From a personal standpoint, hopefully by taking a more proactive and direct approach I won't be spending too many more weekends like this holed up at home.

... Or maybe I'm just an asshole.

Taste the rainbow

Earlier this evening, I had the pleasure of seeing a wonderful acoustic set by the Head and the Heart. If you haven't heard of this band yet, I pity you. They're so wonderful. Their voices harmonize so perfectly together and you can tell they're genuinely enjoying themselves up on stage. Also, I had a chance to talk to them very quickly afterward and they are incredibly nice.

You can check out a song from them here:



As I was driving home, I thought back to a post I made a few days back with some fitness and health advice for busy people. I realized that I forgot to include a tidbit of nutrition advice that I always try to follow but I guess it's just as well (but I miss your face like hell. [Watch the video if you don't get this]) because it's really great advice for everyone, not just busy people... and it gives me an excuse to share a recipe!

In my other blog, I said that it's a good idea to try to eat a lot of foods that are brightly colored (but not artificially colored!) and this kind of builds on that. I like to call it the "Rainbow Rule" and no, it's not just for gays. In case you didn't imply this from the name, you basically make sure that you get at least one food that's every color of the rainbow somewhere in each of your meals throughout the day. What's the reasoning behind this? It makes sure they you get a variety of nutrients as foods with different colors generally will have different nutritional content. It also encourages you to get foods from a variety of different food groups.

Of course, some of the colors (read: blue and purple) can be difficult to find. Off hand, I think of blueberries for blue and... nothing else. Purple makes me think of eggplant, plums, and grapes. For that reason, I usually combine these two colors into one and if I can get both, great!

That brings me to the recipe I mentioned earlier! A couple friends and I were making dinner the other night and, me being me, I insisted upon it being mostly healthy. My friends took care of making garlic bread, a fruit salad (for dessert... As Marge Simpson once said, "Fruit is nature's candy!"), and an improvised baked pasta while I was in charge of a salad. Obviously, I wanted to pack as many nutrients as I could into the salad. Everyone seemed to enjoy the salad so the next week when I was looking to make a quick, healthy meal for myself, I decided to bust out the salad again, but this time with a slight modification to add yet another color that wasn't included in the original salad. I ended up enjoying it even more the original so I thought I'd share the recipe with you all.

And by share the recipe, I mean I'm going to give it a name and tell you what's in it. I'm going to give you any specifics or measurements or anything because it's a fucking salad. So let's call it Rainbow Salad because it's very colorful. Can everyone agree on that? Good.

So start with a big ass bowl and fill it with some spinach. Notice how I said spinach and not lettuce. Spinach=darker green=more nutrients than lettuce. You'll want about as much spinach as you think will feed however many people you're serving (duuuuuh!) unless you want to have left overs for later (double duuuuuuh!) Use your best estimation skillz.

So yeah, we're off to a great start and we already have green! But we're not going to stop the green there. Oooooh, no. Next up is cucumbers! I usually cut some into circles and then cut them into four pieces after that. I also keep some in thin circles to put on top of the salad at the end.

Next, git yerself sum peppars! Or, in English, get yourself some peppers! More specifically, you'll want red, orange, and yellow peppers. After washing them, cut them into small squares and then toss them into your bowl. Bam! Four colors down. God, isn't this amazing?! I feel like Emeril.

Now comes the really exciting part... AS IF SPINACH ISN'T EXCITING ENOUGH. Are you ready for it?!

BLUEBERRIES.

Holy. Fuck.

Mind blowing, right? Right. So wash yourself some of those deeeeelicious blueberries (I recommend using organic for less exposure to pesticides... Blueberries are on the EWG's Dirty Dozen!). There's blue! Woo! You've got all your colors, more or less! Now you're ready to toss the salad. Soooo... toss the salad. And I mean that in a non-sexual way, you pervert.

But we're not done yet! For an added dash of red, let's add some strawberries, why don't we? I also recommend getting these organic for the same reason. I've also noticed that the organic strawberries at my local grocery store tend to be straight up better quality than the conventional ones. Slice the strawberries into the thin slices and spread them nicely across the top along with any cucumber slices you saved. Awwww, now it looks awesome, too!

If you feel the need for dressing, which I highly recommend against because it's basically empty calories, go with olive oil as a healthy alternative and make sure you only put on a light amount. Trust me, this salad is so flavorful you won't even need dressing!

So there you go. My half assed approach to sharing a recipe. Try it, let me know what you think. Also, if you have any blue or purple foods you can think of, let me know!

I Felt You Drain the Blood

I've noticed that I tend to do, or at least start, most of my blogging late at night. Why this happens is a mystery to me still. Maybe I'm slowly turning into an owl or maybe I need some stronger sleeping pills.

Late Saturday night, however, I had a little too much excitement going on to be blogging. But let me start the story of my weekend at the beginning.

Wednesday, I was at Minnehaha Falls with a couple of friends. We were heading back to our car when my nose suddenly began to bleed. This was unfortunate because no one in my group had tissues and we were still pretty far off from the main pavilion. I held my nose and managed to stop most of the bleeding long enough for me to get back to pavilion, get some tissues, and clean myself up. After it had stop, I pushed it from my mind and thought nothing of it.

Skip ahead to Friday (Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday!). I had a few friends over for the evening and we were hanging out, playing this really awesome game called "What If." Around 1:30, my nose started bleeding again but this time, blood was gushing out. I'm usually pretty impatient when it comes to nosebleeds so instead of applying pressure like you're supposed to, I just shove tissue up there and let it sit for a while until the bleeding stops. I tried doing that but as soon as I got the tissue wad in my nose, the little piece that was sticking out started turning red and then proceeded to drip. This was my first clue that this was not your typical run of the mill nosebleed. I decided I'd give in and apply pressure to it until it stopped. Finally, after half an hour of holding my nose, the bleeding subsided.

I woke up early the next morning (Read: 1 in the afternoon) and went to water my garden. Upon returning inside, my nose again began to drip blood at an alarming rate. It took me another half an hour to get the bleeding to stop but I really didn't care for that evening, I had a date with the lovely Chelsea Handler.

I left my house and went out to dinner before the show and then we arrived at the Target Center. The show was great. Brad, Josh, and Heather from Chelsea Lately all opened for Chelsea and they were each hilarious. Then it came time for Chelsea to come on and I was pumped. This is one of the pictures I managed to take...

...before my nose started gushing blood AGAIN, which goes to show that even fourth row floor tickets can be nosebleed seats. My friend who I went with didn't have any tissues but she very generously took off her top shirt and let me use it to hold my nose... Thanks, Kristen! Was I about to get up and leave to get tissues or seek medical attention? Fuck no. This is Chelsea goddamn Handler we're talking about! Unfortunately, I bled for about 45 minutes... and just as I finally got it to stop, Chelsea's set was over. She was still hilarious, it just sucked having to spend the whole time holding my nose.

As we left the Target Center, I began to feel a little out of it and light headed, like I was in some sort of fog. We made it to our car and I got home alright but I just didn't feel right the whole time. I got inside and I was feeling really weak. I had some salad left over from lunch so I started by eating that (Obviously spinach will cure whatever's wrong with me... right?!). Not feeling any better, I floated over to the couch and collapsed onto it. Like any normal person, I then proceeded to check my Facebook. My friend Brooke happened to be online and I told her what had happened. She offered to take me to the hospital because, let's be honest, all that blood loss had obviously taken its toll on me.

We go to the hospital and I arrive, feeling like a jackass for having to go to the emergency room at midnight on Saturday for a freakin' series of severe nosebleeds. This feeling was further enhanced when I was put in a room next to a guy who was over dosing on some unknown drug. Needless to say, my problem felt like it wasn't that important.

The doctor looked at my nose and then spoke a word I had hoped I'd never hear from a doctor's mouth: Cauterization. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept of cauterization, they basically use either chemicals or heat to burn a bleeding blood vessel closed. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! The doctor grabbed a spray bottle with a long red straw and held my nose back. He then sprayed whatever the fuck was in there up my nose and it felt like tiny little ice shards had penetrated my nasal cavity. My eyes began to water and I was coughing. NOT FUN.

I then find out that that was not, in fact, the actual cauterization but just some numbing spray. Note to medical researchers out there: Find a numbing spray that doesn't hurt. A few minutes later he came back with a silver nitrate stick and the actual cauterization took place. After locating the devious blood vessel that was causing me problems, he took the stick and rubbed it along the inside of my nose. "That's not actually that bad," I said. "I was expec... OH MY GOD MY NOSE IS ON FIRE!!!!" That shit HURTS. Thankfully, there's a solution to the pain of chemical burns... MORE NUMBING NASAL SPRAY!!!!!

They did some blood work and said that everything seemed normal and that I should just go home and rest and I'll be fine. Still feeling light headed and loopy, we returned home. I immediately went to bed and did not wake up until early after noon. I unfortunately still felt like I had smoked some sort of whacky weed so I spent most of the rest of the day sleeping. Finally, after a solid three hour nap, I woke up and felt semi-normal.

Obviously, that was not how I wanted to spend my Saturday but hey, I guess you can't really decide when your body's going to fall apart.

The take home message from this blog is this: Be kind to your nose. Don't do things that may cause it bleed excessively. A good example of an activity to avoid is cocaine usage. That's generally not good for your nostrils, nor the rest of your body for that matter. But also don't pick your nose, stick crayons up there, try using your nose for some type of really weird kinky sex, etc.

Stop Telephoning Me

I finished one of the books on my summer reading list, "Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me"! Yahoo!!! I can't recommend this book enough. It's not quite as good as her previous books, which may be because she didn't actually write most of it, but it's still a hilarious read. One story in particular that stands out is by her assistant about a time when she takes a couple Excedrine from Chelsea's medicine cabinet. I won't say more than that to ruin it for any of you who choose to read it, but trust me, it has a hilarious twist!

Speaking of Chelsea Handler, I'm going to see her on Saturday! I can't wait!! Kristen came over tonight and we started making shirts to wear to the show. We're currently waiting for the front to dry so we can work on the back but they're going to be pretty awesome. Maybe Chelsea will notice them!

On a more serious note, the WHO today announced that it would be classifying cell phone use as possibly carcinogenic. This is kind of a disturbing revelation but it doesn't surprise me in the least because I've been cautious about possible risks from cell phone use for a while now. I'd rather be overly cautious than end up with a brain tumor down the line. There are still so many unknowns about cell phones seeing as they haven't been around for that long and many public health risks take years to show up and it's a bit disturbing how quickly we've changed our whole lifestyle to revolve around this new technology. Also, studies have shown that cell phones are linked to the decline in the bee population as well as have been shown to be able to have sometimes lethal effects on other animals.

Am I advocating that we all get rid of our cell phones? No, not at all. Just be smart about using them. Use speaker phone option when it's possible, text instead of calling, and use a headset to reduce your radiation exposure.

So what am I personally doing? All of the above. I've always hated talking on the phone anyway so it's not like I'm really giving up that much by relying mainly on testing. I also ordered a really cool headset that looks like a classic corded phone that I can plug into my phone for longer phone calls. I'm going to make sure I'm more prudent from now on and keep my phone out of my pocket when not absolutely necessary and not make phone calls in areas with poor reception. I also made sure when I bought my cell phone that it had a low SAR rating, which is a measure of how much radiation your body absorbs when the device is transmitting data. Actually, my phone is one of (if not the) lowest SAR rated phones available currently. (Some bad news for those with smart phones: In general, smart phones have some of the highest SAR ratings)

What am I NOT doing? Freaking out or doing anything drastic like not using my phone all together. I'm cautious to a point but when being cautious becomes TOO much of an interference with normal functioning, I'm not going to go there based on this announcement.

Keep in mind the following two things: First, don't listen to what the cell phone industry is saying about the results of any studies. They obviously hold a huge stake in this as it would be a HUGE blow to them if cell phones are definitively linked to cancer. Also, for those of you who actually read the research, be wary of studies that are even partially funded by the cell phone industries. It's amazing how money can corrupt even something that's supposed to be as unbiased as science and lead to whacky results.

Second, keep in mind that there is not yet a DEFINITIVE link between cell phone use and cancer. There is just evidence that suggests that it may cause cancer so don't panic. The announcement today wasn't based on any new research but instead a review of research that has already been done. Don't run to the doctor or toss your cell phone yet. Again, be prudent. If you'd like more information on what you can do to limit your exposure, visit the Environmental Working Group's page on cell phone safety. They have lots of fantastic tips, ratings on accessories, and you can even look up the SAR rating of your phone to see how much radiation you're exposed to. Stay safe, everyone!

Let's Get Physical

The inspiration behind this post comes from my friend Ashley. Much like myself, in addition to being a student Ashley is extremely involved on campus. Earlier this year, Ashley snagged herself a prestigious position as an orientation leader. For those who don't go to the U of MN, orientation leaders lead students through orientation all summer long and then assist with our welcome week we have for incoming students. It's a HUGE time commitment and, from the sounds of it, you're basically the university's bitch for a couple months.

A few days ago, Ashley wrote a blog about her orientation leadering experience and quite honestly, I almost had an aneurysm from reading about how unhealthy her lifestyle has become. She's not eating right, not sleeping much, and not having time for exercise. As someone who makes his health a top priority, this greatly disturbs me. Because of this, I wanted to share a couple of health/fitness tips for busy people. I know that I sometimes have a hard time fitting in sleep or exercise but I've found that cutting them out only makes things so much worse. I generally feel like a fatass and have a tendency to spiral into a mental breakdown (see also: me during finals week).
Keep in mind that I'm not a doctor but I do have an extreme passion for fitness and health so I spend a lot of time reading up on them and I make sure that all of my sources are basing their claims on empirical evidence and not just pulling it out of their asses.

If you can't find time for a solid workout, break it into 10 minute chunks throughout the day. It's recommended that you get your heart rate up for thirty minutes a day most days a week. Sometimes you just don't have time to devote a solid thirty minutes to exercise. If this is the case, break it up into 10 minute chunks. The key there is make sure you're moving for at least 10 minutes because any less and exercise really isn't as effective as it could be. Of course, if you can squeeze in a full 30 minutes that's still preferable. Personally, I generally will do 40 minutes right when I wake up to get myself energized but sometimes I'll break it into a 10 minute and 20 minute chunk if I'm really busy.

Make sleeping a priority. Ashley describes in her blog that her mood has been affected by her spotty sleep patterns and I am not surprised at all. There are numerous studies showing that lack of sleep, for lack of a better term, fucks you up. You should ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS make sure you get enough sleep. Studies have shown, too, that college students who get more sleep actually perform better than those who don't. As a psychology major, this makes complete sense because it allows for your brain to recover and make more neural connections. From a weight loss/health perspective, sleep is extremely important in maintaining a healthy weight. When you sleep, you burn a TON of calories and all the hormones in your body get back in sync. Not getting enough sleep can, and probably, will lead to weight gain. Now what do you do if you have little time for sleep? Nap. Not a long one but take a 20 minute nap and you'll feel surprisingly refreshed. I suggest against taking a nap much longer because research tends to show that that can leave you feeling groggy or mess up your sleeping cycle.

Don't think you can escape getting the full amount of sleep you need each night. Everyone needs a different amount of sleep. Some people need significantly less and others may need up to 10 hours to wake feeling refreshed. However, for most adults, it averages around 8 hours (this number changes with age). If you don't get this amount, you'll be fine for a day or two but your body will develop a sleep debt and you'll have to get that sleep at another time or have it take a toll on your mental and physical functioning. Again, try taking naps. Otherwise, there are resources on the internet that can teach you how to alter your sleeping schedule so you need less sleep and the sleep you get is more effective. However, I am not sure what the scientific literature says about the safety or effectiveness of these drastic lifestyle changes (yes, they're drastic!) so I do not in anyway endorse them and urge you to use caution if you decide to test them out.

Incidental movements are your BFF. I'm sure you're like, "What the fuck is an incidental movement? Is it like a spasm?" No, it's not a spasm. It's a term for non-exercise movements that you happen to do throughout the day such as walking across the room, brushing your teeth, shaking your legs, or walking up and down stairs. While each individual action might not burn that many calories, they add up. That's why finding ways to add more movements, even if they're little, can greatly benefit you. That being said, don't expect to get ripped via this method. They'll help stave off fat and are a great addition to an exercise regime, but they're no replacement for actual exercise.

Combine activities. I used to do this when one of my psychology classes offered online lectures. I'd download the recordings and listen to them while I ran or did yoga. This way, I was both getting exercising and studying done at the same time. If there's any way you can do something while exercising, do it! Bring your reading with you to the gym and do it on the treadmill. Be creative!

Eat foods that are nutrient dense. Calories are not a bad thing. In fact, you need to get a certain amount of calories per day just to maintain basic functions  (For an estimate, multiply your body weight by 10. If you weigh 140, you need 1400 calories before your body starts using muscle tissue for energy). Of course, the more activity in your day the more calories you need. The key is to make sure that each calorie you intake is accompanied by as many nutrients as possible. Finding foods like this is actually a lot easier than it may seem. Look for (non-artificially colored) foods with bright colors. For example, spinach is more nutrient dense than iceberg lettuce so making a salad with spinach instead of lettuce is a great way to improve your diet. You'll feel better and by taking a few extra moments to think about your meal choices, you'll be healthier and feel better.

There's a lot more I could share but I think this is a good start for most of you. Start slow and stay committed! Your life will be so much better by just taking a little bit of time for yourself each day to remain healthy.

If you have any tips you'd like to share, feel free to post them in the comments! I'd love to hear what works for you!

Random Life Updates

Hello one and all!

I've just been on a blogging spree lately, haven't I? Maybe it's all the free time I have before summer class starts again. Can't fill it all with exercise, can I? ;)

I have a few short updates I wanted to share really quick that don't really fit in anywhere else but I felt deserved an appearance in here. I have a few blog ideas I'm going to be working on posting soon so look for those!

First of all, I want to start by sending my condolences to anyone who has been affected by these crazy ass tornadoes the past few days. It hit here in Minneapolis not too far from where I live and thankfully, we didn't get hit as bad as other places like Joplin, Missouri. I would like to bring up an interesting thinking/discussion point: The weather lately has been erratic and highly out of the ordinary. Am I the only one who sees this as a product of climate change? I hope people wake up and start listening to the scientists who've been warning that yes, it really is happening!

I'm also really upset that this anti-marriage amendment is going to be up for a vote in Minnesota. I'll probably post a blog about it down the line but just know that angry Joey is ANGRY!!!! >:(

I finally ordered my ticket for Lollapalooza! I'm so excited to FINALLY be going this year! There's a great line up including Girl Talk, the Naked and Famous, Muse, Cold War Kids, Flogging Molly, Cee-Lo, and so many others! It'll be my second music festival this year, too! (I went to SXSW over spring break) And, best of all, I'll be 21! Lolla is a week after my 21st so I'll still be in legal boozing heaven haha. I'm not entirely sure who I'm going with yet but hopefully this won't be a solo trip.

In other exciting news, I have less than two weeks until Chelsea Handler! So excited to see her again! I'm reading her new book and it's HILARIOUS as always.

I've been doing a lot of StumbleUpon lately and, as a result, have come across many different recipes that I want to try. As I try them, I might share a few on here. Get ready for lots of delicious vegetarian cuisine!

That about wraps up that my random blog. Like I said, stay tuned because I have some great posts in store!




Oh, one more thing: No, I did not get raptured on Saturday. I guess Jesus doesn't like agnostics. =)

Summer Reading List

As I mentioned in my last blog, it's summer! Woo hoo!! Now that I have a ton of free time and don't have to be constantly reading for school, that means I have free time to read stuff I actually want to! Woo hoo! With that in mind, I thought I'd share my summer reading list. Will I finish it? Fuck no. Most of these are spill overs from winter break reading, last summer, and even high school. If any of you have read any of these, please feel free to share your thoughts!

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by Chelsea Handler and Friends

I love Chelsea Handler, hence why I shelled out $90 for fourth row tickets when she's here in June. I've read all three of her other books and almost stopped breathing from laughing so hard each time so obviously I was very excited for this one to come out even if most of it was written by other people. This is actually the book I'm reading right now and so far so good!

Hyperspace and Physics of the Future by Michio Kaku

As I'm sure you're all aware, I am a nerd. One of my favorite nerdy pastimes is anything and everything science and that's why not one but TWO books by Michio Kaku, rock start theoretical physicist, have found their way onto my summer reading list. This man is a GENIUS. He has this fantastic ability to be able to explain advanced physics concepts in terms that even someone who has little background in science can understand AND, best of all, he uses minimal math. I tried reading Hyperspace over winter break but ended up not finishing it so I'm going to start from the beginning and give it a good read this time. Physics of the Future just came out in April and I have not had a chance to pick it up yet but if it's anything like Physics of the Impossible, it's going to be a nerdy good time.

Game Change by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin

Ahhhh, politics... How I love thee. This one's about the 2008 presidential election which holds a very special place in my heart because I spent so much time interning for a political campaign that year. I'm looking forward to seeing what went on behind the scenes and how Obama was able to take down McCain and his Alaskan Barbie of a running mate.

The Center of Winter by Marya Hornbacher

Marya Hornbacher is a Minneapolis author best known for her memoir Wasted in which she dives into the depths and presents the horrifying reality of eating disorders by sharing her personal struggle. I thoroughly enjoyed this book in high school and have since read her other memoir, Madness, which focuses more on her struggle with bipolar disorder (This lady has had some fucked up shit happen to her and one can't help but feel sorry for her and want to help). Despite having picked up a copy a while back, I have yet to read her fiction novel, The Center of Winter. Based on the first few pages, title, and reviews I have read, it's a pretty big downer but an excellent read.

Secret Carnival Workers by Paul Haines

Secret Carnival Workers is a collection of music journalism, poems, and other writing by Canadian poet Paul Haines. Another one I've had for a while but have not gotten around to reading. An interesting tidbit about Paul: His sperm produced one of the greatest musical geniuses, best looking, and downright awesome women of our time, the lovely Emily Haines. Anyone who shares 50% of their genes in common with that woman MUST be really, really awesome.

That's my reading list. Of course, there's always room for more so if you have a suggestion, feel free to let me know!

Summer in the city means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage.

Obligatory comment about how I suck at blogging and fully intend to start writing on here more often (though I will more than likely not follow through with that to be honest.)

Good, now that that's out of the way we can move on to more pressing matters. For those of you who are unaware, this is my first week of summer. I'm... actually not that excited. I'm taking O Chem II (assuming I passed O Chem I... which I'm still unsure of) so that will take up most of my time. During my free time, I will be doing... nothing. Everyone is so busy lately and it seems like no one can ever, or wants to, spare some time for me.

But whatever. There are some things I am looking forward to! I'm turning 21 at the end of July so that should be fun. And if it's not, I'll be drunk so I won't care! I'm hoping to maybe go to Lollapalooza in August and maybe Summerfest, assuming I can find someone to go with.

Of course, there is also going to be plenty of time for me to exercise so I have lots of new fitness goals! I'm doing (well, attempting to do) Insanity. I just did the fitness today and it was TOUGH. I couldn't even finish it! Tomorrow, I'll be starting the first real workout.

Well. This is my attempt at at blogging. Anyone else have fun summer plans?

A comforting lie can't last

I'm on a bit of self improvement binge as of late, trying to rid my life of some of the negativity I have been experiencing and generally trying to make the world a more pleasant place. And that's why I've decided that it's time for me to stop my double life of sorts I've been living.

Those of you who know me fairly well know that in addition to being ignored, being lied to is one of the things that I find most hurtful and rude. I've also never been a fan of people who put on a facade, whether it be to seem like they're a good person but behind the scenes they're not or just to make someone like them. Well, I realize I've been doing these last two and it's time that it stops. Maybe this lie, the second face I've been putting on for some of you, is why I'm experiencing so many problems lately. Maybe it's not. But either way, this is my attempt at detoxifying my life.

Yes, as I'm sure all of you who I haven't already told suspected, I'm gay.

Now, I really don't want to make a big deal out of this. Why? Because it's not really central to who I am as far as I'm concerned. There are so many more interesting things about me. Like did you know that I'm an ordained reverend and can legally perform weddings? Much more interesting than who I'm potentially attracted to.

So please, don't make a big deal out of this. I've known for a long time. I'm still the same person I was before. My love of Metric, Canada, HIV advocacy, meeting new people, doing nerdy things like reading theoretical physics books for fun, Gwen Stefani, drinking like a fish, being a general badass, posting articles about current events and science that no one reads, yoga, the 7 Deadly Sins Games, randomly giving out complements to people I barely know on Facebook, and so many more things that really make up who I am haven't changed. I'm still the same old Joey, with all my quirks and flaws and positive attributes and my tendency to care a little too much about other people. I'm just finally able to show who I am in my entirety.

This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do partially because I've been scared of how people will react and partially because I'm not really friends with any guys, let alone gay ones, so I don't know what others have gone through. That's why I really appreciate any support you can give me.





I can assure you all of one thing:

No more lies.