Oh right, I have a blog.

I've been bad.

I've been reallllly bad.

I have been completely neglecting my blog in the name of a little something called school. I mean, who does that, anyway?! Someone who wants to go to PA school.

Well... I guess I owe everyone an update on the last few weeks. Neon Indian and Lights were awesome. Finals were killer but I did pretty damn well in all my classes. Started a new job. Started school back up again already. Did some awesome volunteering. Signed up to get AED/CPR/First Aid certified. Started the process of applying to grad school. WHEW. It's been busy!

Things are definitely busy but way slower than they have been. It's nice to finally have a chance to breathe. I should hopefully be able to keep up with the blog a little better now. I'll have lots of exciting things to report in the next few weeks... My cousin coming to visit, my first 5k (hint: It involves zombies), grad school search updates, etc. So watch out.

For now, however, I'd like to introduce something that you'll be seeing posts about in the near future.

It's called... THE JAR.

And I will be putting people in it along with my friend Carly.

The only requirement that to be in the the Jar is you need to be 99th percentile adorable. And preferably British or Canadian. Who will be the first one to make it into the Jar? And what is the story behind the Jar? Stayed tuned, kiddies...

This must be it, welcome to the new year

I'm not a fan of making New Year resolutions for two reasons: The first is that I never keep them. Remember that year I resolved to stop swearing? Didn't last a fucking week. The second is related to the first and stems from me being a psychology nerd. Anyone who mentions to me that they're going on one of those d-words that is related to changes in your eating habits in an attempt to loose weight gets a stern lecture about how said d-words don't work and they really should be making lifestyle changes instead. I hate to hit you with the beating stick of reality but you're not going to be able to eat healthy for six months and then go back to eating the processed, sugar pumped, deep fried, greasy shit you did before and be able to keep the weight off. The psychological literature also suggests that people who attempt to diet will ultimately fail when placed in a cognitively taxing situation.

Wow, it sounds like I'm writing a research paper.

Obviously this applies to other areas of life besides just the d-word. This is why instead of making a New Year resolution, I'm making a NEW YEAR LIFE STYLE CHANGE.

Gwen is excited about lifestyle changes.

I realize I'm a bit late to the party but I really wanted to think this one over seeing as, unlike a resolution, this is going to be a permanent change, I wanted to make sure it was just right. Finally, while I was supposed to be meditating during yoga tonight (Whoops!) I thought of something absolutely perfect.

I do this thing where I'll meet someone, we'll be friends for a while, and then they'll mysteriously become really busy, not contact me on their own, and generally, you know, be a lousy friend. Instead of just moving on, I'll keep trying to be their friend. Well, no more! I'M FINALLY GROWING A PAIR.

 

When this happens, I'm going to tell them they're an asshole and send them a flaming bag of poop and then delete them from my life.

No, I'm totally kidding. What I am going to do, however, is stop making an effort with people who don't make one with me. So when one of these yayhoos makes an appearance in my life, instead of desperately clawing at them and showering them with baked goods, trying to make plans with them, and searching for amusing videos of little girls being headbutted in the ovaries by a raging sheep, I'm just going to stop contacting them.

That's not to say I'll IGNORE them. You have to REALLY send me into a raging whirlwind for me to ignore you. If we run into each other, I'll still be like, "OH HEY GURL HOW YOU BE?!" But I'm not going to go out of my way to see them. I'm not going to text them and be like, "Let's hang out!!!" And I'm definitely not going to spend my time looking for ovary hating sheep. If they really want me in their life, they'll put forth some effort. Friendships are a two way street and it's not healthy for one person to put in ALL of the effort. No one ends up happy that way. It took me a long time to realize this and I'm not saying the lifestyle change will be easy. But I think in the end, it'll ultimately be worthwhile.

On a lighter note, I'm starting to figure out my busy concert going schedule for the year. I love going to live shows but unfortunately this little thing called "college" sometimes get in the way. Oh, that and money. Boo. Here's a short selection of what I have planned so far:

Jan. 29th- Los Campesinos!

April 2nd- The Ting Tings
April 7th- First Aid Kit (possibly, assuming someone will go with me)
April 16th- Cults

Coachella?!?! (Dependent on funds and line up)

May 4th- Neon Indian

June 23rd-24th- This mystery festival that's supposedly happening in Minneapolis

July 20th-21st- First Avenue's festival

August 3rd-5th- Lollapalooza, dependent on funds and line up

Now, clearly there's a large gap in there and my calendar is not near as full as I'd like it to be. Hopefully I'll be making that change as the year really gets going and more artists start touring.

If you're excited about an upcoming show, let me know in a comment! And let me know how you're going to be changing your life this new year!

For those of you who are unaware, I've recently developed an obsession with this YouTube show called "My Drunk Kitchen." The premise that this girl gets drunk and cooks things and films it. It's pretty freakin' great. Well, there happens to be a new episode today so I wanted to share it with you before I got into the real meat of today's blog.




Isn't she great?! I love her. I want to keep her in a jar in my room.

Now that I've shared the joy of MDK, it's time to move on to a more serious topic. I know, I know, it's rare that I have serious blogs because I'm so fucking entertaining.

For those of you who don't follow me on Twitter, lately I've been posting a lot of rather depressing statuses (Basically, I've turned into this whiny thirteen year old fat emo girl). I know they're annoying and I know it seems like I'm... well, a whiny thirteen year old fat emo girl. I also realize that lately I've been really irritable lately. I'm snapping at people, I'm making vicious sarcastic comments, I'm not commenting or tweeting or texting back, I'm being really anti-social... Basically, I'm becoming a real asshole.

Well, more of a real asshole than I usually am.

I've also become a tad paranoid and have gotten mad at people for stupid things like not responding to a Facebook event invite or whatever... Stuff that, while annoying, doesn't warrant the kind of reaction I've been having. In addition, I've felt the need to obsessively write on people's walls, comment or like everything, etc. because I feel like everyone is abandoning me for completely irrational reasons.

I guess I just really wanted to apologize for how I've been acting lately. There's been a lot of negative stuff in my life lately that I've been struggling with and it honestly has been getting worse rather than better. I'm trying to work through it but it's a long, difficult process. So if I snap at you or whatever, don't take it personally. It really is my issue more than anything else and you're probably doing nothing wrong. I don't know why I take things out on the people I love, but that's what always ends up happening. I'm trying to stop, I really am.

Life has been a struggle lately for me. I don't want to go into details of what's been going on, and I'm sure most of you probably don't want to hear it, but things are getting bad. Some days, I won't get out of bed until 4 because I just don't see the point or feel like dealing with reality. Hopefully, someday I'll get better. Hopefully.

Random Life Updates

Hello one and all!

I've just been on a blogging spree lately, haven't I? Maybe it's all the free time I have before summer class starts again. Can't fill it all with exercise, can I? ;)

I have a few short updates I wanted to share really quick that don't really fit in anywhere else but I felt deserved an appearance in here. I have a few blog ideas I'm going to be working on posting soon so look for those!

First of all, I want to start by sending my condolences to anyone who has been affected by these crazy ass tornadoes the past few days. It hit here in Minneapolis not too far from where I live and thankfully, we didn't get hit as bad as other places like Joplin, Missouri. I would like to bring up an interesting thinking/discussion point: The weather lately has been erratic and highly out of the ordinary. Am I the only one who sees this as a product of climate change? I hope people wake up and start listening to the scientists who've been warning that yes, it really is happening!

I'm also really upset that this anti-marriage amendment is going to be up for a vote in Minnesota. I'll probably post a blog about it down the line but just know that angry Joey is ANGRY!!!! >:(

I finally ordered my ticket for Lollapalooza! I'm so excited to FINALLY be going this year! There's a great line up including Girl Talk, the Naked and Famous, Muse, Cold War Kids, Flogging Molly, Cee-Lo, and so many others! It'll be my second music festival this year, too! (I went to SXSW over spring break) And, best of all, I'll be 21! Lolla is a week after my 21st so I'll still be in legal boozing heaven haha. I'm not entirely sure who I'm going with yet but hopefully this won't be a solo trip.

In other exciting news, I have less than two weeks until Chelsea Handler! So excited to see her again! I'm reading her new book and it's HILARIOUS as always.

I've been doing a lot of StumbleUpon lately and, as a result, have come across many different recipes that I want to try. As I try them, I might share a few on here. Get ready for lots of delicious vegetarian cuisine!

That about wraps up that my random blog. Like I said, stay tuned because I have some great posts in store!




Oh, one more thing: No, I did not get raptured on Saturday. I guess Jesus doesn't like agnostics. =)

A comforting lie can't last

I'm on a bit of self improvement binge as of late, trying to rid my life of some of the negativity I have been experiencing and generally trying to make the world a more pleasant place. And that's why I've decided that it's time for me to stop my double life of sorts I've been living.

Those of you who know me fairly well know that in addition to being ignored, being lied to is one of the things that I find most hurtful and rude. I've also never been a fan of people who put on a facade, whether it be to seem like they're a good person but behind the scenes they're not or just to make someone like them. Well, I realize I've been doing these last two and it's time that it stops. Maybe this lie, the second face I've been putting on for some of you, is why I'm experiencing so many problems lately. Maybe it's not. But either way, this is my attempt at detoxifying my life.

Yes, as I'm sure all of you who I haven't already told suspected, I'm gay.

Now, I really don't want to make a big deal out of this. Why? Because it's not really central to who I am as far as I'm concerned. There are so many more interesting things about me. Like did you know that I'm an ordained reverend and can legally perform weddings? Much more interesting than who I'm potentially attracted to.

So please, don't make a big deal out of this. I've known for a long time. I'm still the same person I was before. My love of Metric, Canada, HIV advocacy, meeting new people, doing nerdy things like reading theoretical physics books for fun, Gwen Stefani, drinking like a fish, being a general badass, posting articles about current events and science that no one reads, yoga, the 7 Deadly Sins Games, randomly giving out complements to people I barely know on Facebook, and so many more things that really make up who I am haven't changed. I'm still the same old Joey, with all my quirks and flaws and positive attributes and my tendency to care a little too much about other people. I'm just finally able to show who I am in my entirety.

This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do partially because I've been scared of how people will react and partially because I'm not really friends with any guys, let alone gay ones, so I don't know what others have gone through. That's why I really appreciate any support you can give me.





I can assure you all of one thing:

No more lies.

Day 22: A song that you listen to when you're sad

I'd like to officially christen today "Emo Day" in honor of today's blog. It's all about the negative emotions, man. So let's dress in all black, find the nearest dark corner, and wallow.

Today's song is "Reason Why" by Rachael Yamagata. I was originally introduced to this song on a mix CD my sister in law made for me. Rachael's voice is beautiful and sad and you can hear the heartbreak in her voice. The lyrics are what really blow my mind so I'm going to share some of my favorite parts...


And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why

This section I particularly related to in high school. I'd rather not get into why exactly, but let's just say I was in a situation with someone who I could tell was in complete denial... and it sucked.

But as close as I get to you
It's not the same

Mmmmmm... Love that line... It gives me shivers.

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there

So raw, so emotional, so beautiful. Fuck, I wish I could write like that. I guess that's why I'm not a musician or poet. Science FTW!

I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

That situation I mentioned before... That's kind of how I feel about it now. Whatever, I'm over it.

Day 4: A song that makes you sad

It's day 4 of the 30 day song challenge and today's theme is "a song that makes you sad." I chose the song "Pretend" by Lights. I happen to adore Lights; not only does she make really good music but she's REAL PURTY!!!! I mean, look at this picture I stole from her Facebook:



LOOK AT THAT FACE. It's soooo... symmetrical.

But this blog isn't about me being a creep, it's about this lovely song that happens to make Joey very nostalgic. I turned 20 just over a week ago and it's been really sinking in that I'm not a child anymore and you know what? I had a pretty damn good childhood. Nothing overly traumatic happened (well, until I was like 16, anyway) and I lived a pretty easy life. And best of all, I got to just play all of the time and didn't have to work hard in school (which really fucked me over for college haha). I got to do a lot of things Lights sings about; Drinking soda (or that sparkly grape shit) instead of wine, water gun fights, play fights in general... Don't get me wrong, I love me some wine but I'd give it all up to be a child again. Things were just better back then.

Some things I miss: Game Boys, Pokemon, playing cops and robbers, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, old episodes of the Simpsons, Nickleodeon, Beanie Babies, getting dressed up for Halloween, Christmas in general, playing Legos, going to my grandma's in Illinois and catching lightning bugs, the Fun Fest at my elementary school, chalk, sledding down my neighbor's hill, sleepovers, Skip Its, biking, bad 90's music, being able to get by on 7 hours of sleep, doing nothing all summer, getting special treatment because I was so young, ghosts in the graveyard, freeze tag, my friend's basement, N64 (I miss this one A LOT haha), the Spice Girls, movies like Clueless, being innocent and carefree, Joe and Tara's Bar (don't ask haha), awkward middle school dances, calling people do see if they wanted to play, looking forward to college and the future and having endless possibilities ahead of me...

I wish I could go back.

A Simple Kind of Life

What am I looking for in a mate? (Yes, mate. Biology FTW!) Nothing complicated...

Someone who will go to shows with me.
Someone who talk about genetics with me even if it's just to humor me.
Someone who will listen to Emily Haines with me.
Someone who will text me just because.
Someone who will put me before anyone else.
Someone who will listen to the rain with me.
Someone with sexy tattoos.
Someone who is okay with my mood swings and meltdowns.
Someone I can look at all day and late into the night.
Someone who is okay when I talk Pokemon.

And most importantly...
Someone who realizes that Gwen and Emily will ALWAYS be number 1 in my life.
A man's gotta have his priorities, right?





Why is this so hard to find?

From coast to coast and star to star

I don't know why but tonight I started thinking about transferring... again. I know, I know... I just did this last semester so shouldn't I be happy with where I am? Well, I am happy at Minnesota. This is why it's so strange that I'm having these thoughts.

I've started looking into the national student exchange program where I could take classes at a different university for a semester or even a full year but... I'm not sure if that's enough or what I really want and I'm not sure how I'd be able to swing it with all the classes I need to take to graduate on time/ahead of schedule/whatever the fuck track I'm on right now.

But I was just thinking... maybe if I'd have taken my college decision more seriously, I would've gone to the University of the Pacific instead of Purdue. And I'd be in California right now. Or maybe I would have applied elsewhere in Cali or to the University of Toronto (I really should have applied there).

I suppose there's nothing I can do about it now (except for research time travel). And besides, I genuinely enjoy where I am; I've got great friends in a great place and I'm getting so many opportunities to do things that I didn't have at Purdue (MPAC, research, being an SSDP board member, etc.) but I can't shake this feeling. Hopefully it'll pass.

Maybe I just need to go on a vacation (not that I can afford one, mind you). I've never really been on a REAL vacation. We always go somewhere to visit relatives or to Wisconsin... which usually involves meeting relatives there. I'd really like to go someplace wild and unfamiliar just to GO there, you know? Like to see the sights or just spend time there or whatever. That'd be great...

I tried looking up to you, girl... Errr, dude

Today in my anthropology class we watched a movie about Freud. In the grand tradition of Freud, and my anthropology class for that matter, it ended up being mainly about sex. Seriously, this guy was hella perverted.

But that's not my point.

In the movie, there was a part about Freud's idol and how he'd write him almost romantic letters praising him. Instead of paying attention from this point forward, I got to thinking about who my idols are and I had a realization: They're all women. There really aren't any men out there that I'd say I idolize, at least not in the same way I do my ladies. I mean, I think Tom Dumont and Jimmy Shaw are pretty rad but I don't think I'd say I look up to them.

Is this weird? Like is it weird that I mainly look up to women? I feel like every other guy out there is like, "Duddde, my idol is (insert generic sports figure/rawwwwk musician/their father or grandfather/other manly man)" and I'm like, "Gwen Stefani FTW!"

I guess since I've always gotten along better with girls I've naturally always ended up looking up to them. Or maybe I'm not exposed to enough strong male role models. Or maybe men are just scum. Or maybe my life is just one large estrogen-fest and that's all it'll ever be. =\

Celebrate a brand new day

"Only hang out with the people you like. I figured that out and it changed my life."
- Emily Haines

A friend of mine introduced me to that quote today. I'd never heard it before which is kinda strange considering I'm mildly obsessed with that woman. Regardless, I think there's remarkable wisdom in those words.

It seems that a lot of my time in high school and even since then I've spent hanging out around people who I honestly thought weren't the greatest people/friends and ignored some of the best people I know. And, more importantly, I wasted my time not really enjoying myself. Life's too short for that.

Well dammit, it's not happening anymore. I'm technically a sophomore in college now. I don't have time for people that I don't actually want to spend time with for whatever reason. I'm making the people who are good to me my priority.

This is the start of a new phase in my life.