Political Words/Phrases I Never Want To Hear Again

This is how I feel right now.

In just four days, America will take to the polls and decide who will be the next people to completely ignore the wishes of their constituents. This means that in just five days, we'll be free of all those annoying political television and radio ads and I literally could not be more excited. They're very repetitive and tend to use the same sound bites and phrases over and over. In celebration of our liberation from political propaganda, I have compiled a list of my least favorite phrases/words that I will be excited to not hear again for a long time... or to at least hear less frequently.

"Job creator/killer": I get it. The unemployment rate is high and you're going to change that and your opponent is going to be the Jeffrey Dahmer of jobs. How about telling us how you're going to accomplish this instead of just spouting the same overused phrases?

"Swing state": (and all of the names of the swing states... OHIO, I'M LOOKING AT YOU)

"Birth certificate": OBAMA WAS BORN HERE, GET OVER IT.

"Nancy Pelosi": This one comes courtesy of Michele Bachmann, who seems to think she's running against Nancy based on some of her radio ads.

"Obamacare": I'll send you to the hospital for some Obamacare if you don't shut up.

"Activist judges": What the hell is an activist judge? This is one people like to spout whenever a judge makes a ruling they disagree with. It's really a poorly defined concept and as a social scientist, poorly defined concepts make me angsty.

"Traditional marriage": This one needs to go away as well. Which tradition are we talking about?

"Loving, Committed, Same-Sex Couples": I know, I know, I'm very for GLBT rights but this one is over used and contains way too many adjectives.

"Yes/No": I know I won't be able to avoid this one completely, but at least I won't have to see it everywhere with all the constitutional amendments voted on.

"Amendment": Can we just not do anything with our constitution so I don't have to hear this word in eight different commercials?

"The children": A hypothetical group of future spawn that apparently are very fragile as they need constant protection. Vote for my guy or the other one will eat your children!!!!

"Rick Nolan": So many attack ads about this dude in Minnesota. It's almost as bad as Pelosi.

Anything with ominous music listing the crimes against humanity committed by the various candidates.

"Cut/raise taxes": Everyone is going to cut them and their opponent is going to raise them.

"Bipartisan": What every politician claims to be and what few really are. See also: "across the aisle."

"The women/young/veterans/Latinos/undecided voters/first time voters are going to decide this election.": So basically everyone who votes is going to decide the election. Gee, how insightful.

"Moist": Okay, not a political word but one that should not be used regardless.

"Wasteful spending": If everyone who claimed they were going to cut government spending actually did so, we'd actually be making money instead of spending it.

"Redefine marriage": Partially because of philosophical disagreements, but also because I hear it ALL THE TIME. It needs to stop.



I could keep this list going for quite some time, but I'm already annoyed just thinking about hearing these phrases the next few days. What are some of your least favorite political phrases? Let me know in the comments!

Why Marriage Matters

Last October, on the eve of my second biochemistry test of the semester, I got a phone call from my mom that will forever be burned into my memory; My grandfather on my dad's side was in the hospital and they had discovered four large tumors on his spine. Immediately upon hanging up with her, I burst into tears and did not stop crying until the middle of the afternoon the next day (including all the way through my biochemistry test, which needless to say was not my best). Knowing that this could be one of my last opportunities to ever see my grandpa, I canceled all my weekend plans, threw some clothes and homework together, and departed for Illinois to visit him in the hospital.

That weekend was one of the most difficult weekends of my life. I could barely stay in the room because it was so emotionally taxing and I hated seeing such a strong man, one I cared about so much, confined to a bed and knowing that he was in pain. That being said, I'm so glad I went down there. I know it meant a lot to him, and by Thanksgiving (the next opportunity I had to make the trip), he had declined so rapidly that he couldn't even tell what was going on. The morning after I returned to Minnesota from that Thanksgiving trip, I got the call that he had passed on.

That trip to the hospital in October was the last time I got to see and talk to my grandfather like old times, like I remembered him. Thinking back on it, I'm incredibly grateful that it ended up happening the way it did. I got my chance to say goodbye and to some extent, that gives me a little peace.

But I can't help wondering what would have happened if something different would have happened. What if he had been in a car crash? Or what if I had to work that weekend and couldn't have gone down to see him? What if I never got that chance to see him in the hospital? I would have been devastated knowing I never got the chance to say goodbye and it would have made the process of mourning, one that I'm still going through to some extent today, even more painful and pronounced.

The story of my grandpa's last few months is not something I particularly like talking about as it was a very dark period in my life and it's painful to even bring up. However, I'm sharing it for a reason and that reason is something that is very important to not only me, but to many people in the state of Minnesota.

Hospital visitation rights is one of the many rights afforded to married couples, ensuring that those couples have a better chance of saying goodbye to someone whom they've spent a significant portion of their life with. It also allows a spouse to make crucial decisions about medical care for their spouse, as an accident victim's spouse probably knows more about what their significant other would want than does the emergency medical staff who have never come in contact with this person before.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to deny someone the right to visit their life partner in the hospital, possibly on their deathbed, but there are so many people who do. In November, Minnesotans will go to the polls to vote on a constitutional amendment to permanently ban marriage for same-sex couples. This would leave same-sex couples, who have spent their whole lives together, laughed, cried, and possibly raised children together (Woo hoo for adoption and surrogacy!) unable to be their for the last moment's of their partner's journey on this planet. Permanently.

But hospital visitation rights aren't the only things that same sex couples would be denied. There are hundreds of benefits awarded to married couples that same sex couples wouldn't be allowed to have, or would have to jump through loopholes in order to get them. As a social scientist, I find other unspoken implications of the amendment more worrisome. For example, this amendment sends a message to children who are being raised by same sex parents that there is something wrong with their family or that GLBT youth are somehow different in a negative way. Do you really want to send this message to children? Do you really want to send the message to them that it's okay for them to discriminate against their peers because they're different? Is that really a healthy environment for all children?

I know personally, this amendment has already taken it's toll on me. Hearing all these negative things about how I'm disordered or there's something unnatural about something that I didn't choose has made me quite honestly feel like crap about myself. I'm scared to go out, even in my own neighborhood. And how do you think it feels that people who don't even know me are investing their time and effort to actively write discrimination into the constitution of my home state, a state I've grown up in and worked my damn hardest to make a better place?

This amendment accomplishes nothing, as same sex marriage is already illegal in Minnesota. And really, even bringing it up has just made neighbors turn against each other. Please take the time to think of how you vote impacts real people, and think of all the people, gay and straight, young and old, who will be hurt by this amendment. Take a moment to think of the broader consequences.

This amendment hurts me and if you really care about me, and the many other people in your life who will be negatively affected by this amendment, please vote NO.

Random Life Updates

Hello one and all!

I've just been on a blogging spree lately, haven't I? Maybe it's all the free time I have before summer class starts again. Can't fill it all with exercise, can I? ;)

I have a few short updates I wanted to share really quick that don't really fit in anywhere else but I felt deserved an appearance in here. I have a few blog ideas I'm going to be working on posting soon so look for those!

First of all, I want to start by sending my condolences to anyone who has been affected by these crazy ass tornadoes the past few days. It hit here in Minneapolis not too far from where I live and thankfully, we didn't get hit as bad as other places like Joplin, Missouri. I would like to bring up an interesting thinking/discussion point: The weather lately has been erratic and highly out of the ordinary. Am I the only one who sees this as a product of climate change? I hope people wake up and start listening to the scientists who've been warning that yes, it really is happening!

I'm also really upset that this anti-marriage amendment is going to be up for a vote in Minnesota. I'll probably post a blog about it down the line but just know that angry Joey is ANGRY!!!! >:(

I finally ordered my ticket for Lollapalooza! I'm so excited to FINALLY be going this year! There's a great line up including Girl Talk, the Naked and Famous, Muse, Cold War Kids, Flogging Molly, Cee-Lo, and so many others! It'll be my second music festival this year, too! (I went to SXSW over spring break) And, best of all, I'll be 21! Lolla is a week after my 21st so I'll still be in legal boozing heaven haha. I'm not entirely sure who I'm going with yet but hopefully this won't be a solo trip.

In other exciting news, I have less than two weeks until Chelsea Handler! So excited to see her again! I'm reading her new book and it's HILARIOUS as always.

I've been doing a lot of StumbleUpon lately and, as a result, have come across many different recipes that I want to try. As I try them, I might share a few on here. Get ready for lots of delicious vegetarian cuisine!

That about wraps up that my random blog. Like I said, stay tuned because I have some great posts in store!




Oh, one more thing: No, I did not get raptured on Saturday. I guess Jesus doesn't like agnostics. =)

Summer Reading List

As I mentioned in my last blog, it's summer! Woo hoo!! Now that I have a ton of free time and don't have to be constantly reading for school, that means I have free time to read stuff I actually want to! Woo hoo! With that in mind, I thought I'd share my summer reading list. Will I finish it? Fuck no. Most of these are spill overs from winter break reading, last summer, and even high school. If any of you have read any of these, please feel free to share your thoughts!

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by Chelsea Handler and Friends

I love Chelsea Handler, hence why I shelled out $90 for fourth row tickets when she's here in June. I've read all three of her other books and almost stopped breathing from laughing so hard each time so obviously I was very excited for this one to come out even if most of it was written by other people. This is actually the book I'm reading right now and so far so good!

Hyperspace and Physics of the Future by Michio Kaku

As I'm sure you're all aware, I am a nerd. One of my favorite nerdy pastimes is anything and everything science and that's why not one but TWO books by Michio Kaku, rock start theoretical physicist, have found their way onto my summer reading list. This man is a GENIUS. He has this fantastic ability to be able to explain advanced physics concepts in terms that even someone who has little background in science can understand AND, best of all, he uses minimal math. I tried reading Hyperspace over winter break but ended up not finishing it so I'm going to start from the beginning and give it a good read this time. Physics of the Future just came out in April and I have not had a chance to pick it up yet but if it's anything like Physics of the Impossible, it's going to be a nerdy good time.

Game Change by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin

Ahhhh, politics... How I love thee. This one's about the 2008 presidential election which holds a very special place in my heart because I spent so much time interning for a political campaign that year. I'm looking forward to seeing what went on behind the scenes and how Obama was able to take down McCain and his Alaskan Barbie of a running mate.

The Center of Winter by Marya Hornbacher

Marya Hornbacher is a Minneapolis author best known for her memoir Wasted in which she dives into the depths and presents the horrifying reality of eating disorders by sharing her personal struggle. I thoroughly enjoyed this book in high school and have since read her other memoir, Madness, which focuses more on her struggle with bipolar disorder (This lady has had some fucked up shit happen to her and one can't help but feel sorry for her and want to help). Despite having picked up a copy a while back, I have yet to read her fiction novel, The Center of Winter. Based on the first few pages, title, and reviews I have read, it's a pretty big downer but an excellent read.

Secret Carnival Workers by Paul Haines

Secret Carnival Workers is a collection of music journalism, poems, and other writing by Canadian poet Paul Haines. Another one I've had for a while but have not gotten around to reading. An interesting tidbit about Paul: His sperm produced one of the greatest musical geniuses, best looking, and downright awesome women of our time, the lovely Emily Haines. Anyone who shares 50% of their genes in common with that woman MUST be really, really awesome.

That's my reading list. Of course, there's always room for more so if you have a suggestion, feel free to let me know!

Day 23: A song that you want to play at your wedding

I'd like to start this blog out with a political message: LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE. It's time for marriage equality for all and to end second class citizenship in our country.

Now that we have that out of the way, it's time for a less weighty topic: Looooooove. Okay, that's probably equally as weighty. NOT THE POINT. While as of now I have no plans of getting married (although I feel socially pressured to so I'd probably marry the first person who came along).

Anyway, the song that I've always felt is the perfect love song because it describes what I imagine love to be like so perfectly is "Love Is A Place" by Metric.

What a perfect song for a first dance at a wedding. If you haven't heard this song, you NEED to listen to it. It's one of my favorites of all time. Emily's voice is so beautiful too and there's nothing complicated about it. Pure, simple musical goodness.

Here's an acoustic performance I happen to love:

Monster Hospital

I've never been one to voice my opinions on things.

Okay, that's a lie.

As I'm sure you've all heard by now, health care reform passed and I'm actually really happy. As a hybrid Libertarian-Democrat whatever you'd call me, I think that government should allow people to do whatever they please as long as what they're doing doesn't physically harm or infringe on others' right to do the same and they should only provide basic, necessary services. One of these services is health care. Maybe it's the compassionate, caring person that's hidden below my vanity and dashing good looks but I don't think anyone should die because they can't afford to go to the doctor. I don't think anyone should have to choose between food and medicine. I don't think anyone's life should be ruined or dreams squashed because they got sick. I don't think anyone should have to worry about debt while their loved ones are sick and/or dying. We should be worried about treating illnesses and not saving a buck. People ask me if I'm willing to pay higher taxes or be payed less as a doctor to pay for health care... The answer is yes. I am willing to pay a little more so that everyone in our country can live a little better.

Today was historic. This could mean new hope for people with cancer, AIDS, diabetes, MS, eating disorders and other mental health illnesses, and other chronic illnesses that require consistent medical attention and/or repeated hospitalizations. They won't have to worry about financial concerns when they have more than enough other concerns weighing them down. I also think that this will be a great step forward for medical marijuana, an issue I'm extremely passionate about. It'll hopefully lessen the pharmaceutical companies' influence over this silly law and allow patients to medicate safely and without fear.

I'm not saying the bill is perfect. There's parts I don't agree with and there's parts I have questions about but it is A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. And honestly, my main concern is for those suffering in our country.

Oh, and I'm also looking forward to all the free abortions. I've already scheduled like twelve different appointments. I know, I'm a dude but I just wanna kill those babies, you know? ;)

On a related topic, something else I'd just like to say: While some of you may disagree with me on this topic, I hope you keep your comments respectful. Just because we may disagree on something like this doesn't make either of us a bad person. We all view things differently because we have different experiences to base our opinions on. Disagreement on a political issue does NOT give anyone the right to be vicious to another person. By all means, be sarcastic and feel free to joke about things... but don't be an asshole, alright?