Oh right, I have a blog.

I've been bad.

I've been reallllly bad.

I have been completely neglecting my blog in the name of a little something called school. I mean, who does that, anyway?! Someone who wants to go to PA school.

Well... I guess I owe everyone an update on the last few weeks. Neon Indian and Lights were awesome. Finals were killer but I did pretty damn well in all my classes. Started a new job. Started school back up again already. Did some awesome volunteering. Signed up to get AED/CPR/First Aid certified. Started the process of applying to grad school. WHEW. It's been busy!

Things are definitely busy but way slower than they have been. It's nice to finally have a chance to breathe. I should hopefully be able to keep up with the blog a little better now. I'll have lots of exciting things to report in the next few weeks... My cousin coming to visit, my first 5k (hint: It involves zombies), grad school search updates, etc. So watch out.

For now, however, I'd like to introduce something that you'll be seeing posts about in the near future.

It's called... THE JAR.

And I will be putting people in it along with my friend Carly.

The only requirement that to be in the the Jar is you need to be 99th percentile adorable. And preferably British or Canadian. Who will be the first one to make it into the Jar? And what is the story behind the Jar? Stayed tuned, kiddies...

This must be it, welcome to the new year

I'm not a fan of making New Year resolutions for two reasons: The first is that I never keep them. Remember that year I resolved to stop swearing? Didn't last a fucking week. The second is related to the first and stems from me being a psychology nerd. Anyone who mentions to me that they're going on one of those d-words that is related to changes in your eating habits in an attempt to loose weight gets a stern lecture about how said d-words don't work and they really should be making lifestyle changes instead. I hate to hit you with the beating stick of reality but you're not going to be able to eat healthy for six months and then go back to eating the processed, sugar pumped, deep fried, greasy shit you did before and be able to keep the weight off. The psychological literature also suggests that people who attempt to diet will ultimately fail when placed in a cognitively taxing situation.

Wow, it sounds like I'm writing a research paper.

Obviously this applies to other areas of life besides just the d-word. This is why instead of making a New Year resolution, I'm making a NEW YEAR LIFE STYLE CHANGE.

Gwen is excited about lifestyle changes.

I realize I'm a bit late to the party but I really wanted to think this one over seeing as, unlike a resolution, this is going to be a permanent change, I wanted to make sure it was just right. Finally, while I was supposed to be meditating during yoga tonight (Whoops!) I thought of something absolutely perfect.

I do this thing where I'll meet someone, we'll be friends for a while, and then they'll mysteriously become really busy, not contact me on their own, and generally, you know, be a lousy friend. Instead of just moving on, I'll keep trying to be their friend. Well, no more! I'M FINALLY GROWING A PAIR.

 

When this happens, I'm going to tell them they're an asshole and send them a flaming bag of poop and then delete them from my life.

No, I'm totally kidding. What I am going to do, however, is stop making an effort with people who don't make one with me. So when one of these yayhoos makes an appearance in my life, instead of desperately clawing at them and showering them with baked goods, trying to make plans with them, and searching for amusing videos of little girls being headbutted in the ovaries by a raging sheep, I'm just going to stop contacting them.

That's not to say I'll IGNORE them. You have to REALLY send me into a raging whirlwind for me to ignore you. If we run into each other, I'll still be like, "OH HEY GURL HOW YOU BE?!" But I'm not going to go out of my way to see them. I'm not going to text them and be like, "Let's hang out!!!" And I'm definitely not going to spend my time looking for ovary hating sheep. If they really want me in their life, they'll put forth some effort. Friendships are a two way street and it's not healthy for one person to put in ALL of the effort. No one ends up happy that way. It took me a long time to realize this and I'm not saying the lifestyle change will be easy. But I think in the end, it'll ultimately be worthwhile.

On a lighter note, I'm starting to figure out my busy concert going schedule for the year. I love going to live shows but unfortunately this little thing called "college" sometimes get in the way. Oh, that and money. Boo. Here's a short selection of what I have planned so far:

Jan. 29th- Los Campesinos!

April 2nd- The Ting Tings
April 7th- First Aid Kit (possibly, assuming someone will go with me)
April 16th- Cults

Coachella?!?! (Dependent on funds and line up)

May 4th- Neon Indian

June 23rd-24th- This mystery festival that's supposedly happening in Minneapolis

July 20th-21st- First Avenue's festival

August 3rd-5th- Lollapalooza, dependent on funds and line up

Now, clearly there's a large gap in there and my calendar is not near as full as I'd like it to be. Hopefully I'll be making that change as the year really gets going and more artists start touring.

If you're excited about an upcoming show, let me know in a comment! And let me know how you're going to be changing your life this new year!

Taco Tuesday!

I meant to post this earlier but, sadly, my life has been once again consumed by school. Why did I think it was a good idea to take organic chemistry in the summer? I must've taken some whacky pills that day. Anyway, I have a test Thursday so I'm really studying hard... as evidenced by me writing this blog post.

Anywho, a few nights ago I found myself having to cook for myself. For someone who's living at home for the summer, I found this quite distressing as I am used to my parents preparing most meals for me. Luckily for me, my mommy and I happened to go on a trip to Whole Foods in the recent past so I knew I had some delicious organic tortillas in my fridge. Perfect for tacos!

And then I remembered I'm a vegetarian. Fuck.

For those of you who have never been underwhelmed by a vegetarian taco they're generally not that exciting and usually consist of cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. Woo.

Thankfully, the taco is the most versatile fruit so I decided to improvise based on what I happened to have in the fridge. I came up with organic asparagus, red, orange, and yellow peppers, and summer squash. I chopped these up and decided I should probably cook them. (Can you even eat raw asparagus?) I got out a pan and put some olive oil in it and sauteed (or whatever the fancy cooking term is) them for... well, I didn't keep track of the amount of time. You can't rely on me for all the answers, discover things for yourself, man!!! But to give you an idea of when they're done... whenever the fuck you feel like it. I mean... you can just put them in there for two minutes and basically just get a bunch of hot vegetables and, hey, if you're cool with that then I'm cool with that! I accept you for who you are. Otherwise try cooking them until you poke them with a stirring utensil. And you might want to look for them to change appearance a little bit. But not too much!!! If they start to turn brown and smoke then FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP COOKING THEM.

So now you have a bunch of vegetables that are somewhere on the moderately warm to singed spectrum. Now, put everything into the taco. That's what she said. To add variety, flavor, and, most importantly, some additional nutrients I think sprinkled some cheese on top. I used sharp cheddar because I like the strong flavor but you can use whichever cheese moves you. I'm not the Cheese Nazi who tells you what kind of cheese to like. I also discovered some organic spinach salad mix in my fridge as I was putting the cheese back and decided to add that as well.

And with that, the tacos were finished!

So I ate them.

And it was like a vegetabley cheesey food sex explosion in my mouth.

I thought of maybe adding beans next time I make them but why fix what's not broken? However, in your taco-ing life feel free to try whatever you would like and share some suggestions with me!

Speaking of sharing, I have one last thing to share with you all. I thought this was appropriate given today's topic.



Enjoy the rest of your week.

The (Facebook) Bystander Effect

It's a Saturday night and so far this evening I ran 8 miles, chased a rabbit around the yard, and learned the medical term for man-boobs. One thing I did not do, however, is have any sort of social contact minus a few texts seeing if some friends were free this evening (Obviously they were not).

I know you're probably thinking, "Oh God, Joey's going to bitch about not having friends again." While most of the time you would be right (Let's be honest: I'm pretty damn good at bitching) bear with me because this is actually going somewhere productive.

Anyway, where was I? Oh right, not having a social life. So here I was, sitting by my lonesome when I got the idea to post something on Facebook seeing if anyone wanted to hang out. Despite posting the most witty, insightful, and though provoking status I could, no one responded. Whomp whomp. This isn't the first time this has happened, nor will it be the last. I was pondering why the fuck this kept happening when two explanations came into my head:

(Actually, quite a few more came into my head. But these seemed the most likely. I don't think all my friends being abducted by aliens and replaced with illiterate sheep who have hacked into their Facebook accounts is very plausible).

The first explanation is that I'm completely unbearable to be around because I'm annoying as all fuck, smell, am ugly as sin, a real asshole, hated by everyone, or some combination there of. While this is definitely a viable theory because no one wants to to spend time with people with those traits, it's more than likely a product of my paranoia because sometimes I convince myself of some pretty ridiculous things.

I decided to think a little more rationally for an explanation. Suddenly, it hit me as I thought back to my social psychology class and something known as the bystander effect.

Those of you who haven't taken social psychology or even introductory psychology are probably thinking, "What the fuck is the bystander effect?" ...or some variant of that. The bystander effect is an interesting phenomena that occurs when people are confronted with an emergency situation in which someone else needs help. If there's just one person there, they will be significantly more likely to attempt to help than if there is a group of people around. This is believed to occur because when more people are around, people feel less personally obligated to help and the sense of responsibility is diffused throughout the group. Unfortunately, this usually results in no one helping. An example of this from my social psych class was this chick named Feline Genwjwthaiothabgtasjgnasg, or something like that, who was murdered in an alley in New York and, despite crying for help, none of her neighbors called the police.

So what the hell does this have to do with my Facebook post? Think about the way Facebook works: We each have a couple hundred (or, for those who are particularly insecure, a couple thousand) friends that all of our status updates, links, etc. get sent out to. Each of those friends has a couple hundred/thousand friends (again, depending on their level of insecurity). Each of these friends acts as a bystander of sorts and thus everyone develops a, "Oh, someone else will respond" attitude and no one responds even if they may be bored and looking for something to do. I am coining this "the Facebook bystander effect."

Another example from my life was back in March when I was looking for someone to see Girl Talk with me. I posted repeatedly on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to go with me because the person I was originally going with was no longer able to go. Bear in mind that GT sold out two back to back shows in Minneapolis. How many people do you think responded? ZERO. Thankfully, I ran into my friend Edwina (isn't her name AWESOME?!) and she told me she wanted to go. I asked why she didn't respond on Facebook and she said, "Oh, I thought someone else would want to go so I figured I'd wait and see." Like in the real life bystander effect, there were many virtual bystanders so she had just assumed that someone else would respond because of a sort of diffusion of responsibility (although in this case there's no responsibility, but to keep in the context of the original bystander effect I'll use that term).

Now, I realize this is quite the stretch to go from a real life emergency to something as silly as Facebook but think about it abstractly and you'll see that the general concept, the more people there are the less likely someone will act, carries over. Of course, there are other problems. My thinking is in no way based on any empirical evidence because I don't have fucking time to do experiments for fun. I do think the anecdotal evidence suggests there may be something there. Also, it is based off of a theory that actually has empirical evidence behind it. So if any of you happen to be a researcher and want to test this theory out, let me know! *wink wink nudge nudge*

There are some other applications of the Facebook bystander effect that, assuming it's actually happening, I'd be interested in exploring as well. For example, does this still happen if the person making the post has few friends? Are people more likely to respond if they themselves have few friends? What factors can increase responsiveness to a request on Facebook (humor, invoking a sense of obligation, etc.)? How many people would respond to an actual emergency request on Facebook ("The baby's coming! Someone take me to the hospital!") and would responsiveness be affected by any of the above listed factors? Does having a picture of a sexy bikini model increase the likelihood of a response?

Finally, how can this effect be countered? Research would need to be done to make a reliable judgment of whether variations in wording or tone could result in more responses. The best way to counter the Facebook bystander effect would be to make very specific requests. In the actual bystander effect, instead of shouting, "Somebody help me!" it would be a better idea to pick one person out and point to them and shout, "Hey asswipe in the red scarf, call the police!" Okay, maybe don't call them asswipe. But you catch my drift, right?

To apply this to Facebook, instead of posting a status saying, "I'm bored. Someone want to go fly fishing?!" it would be more effective to write on one person's wall, send them a message, use the chat feature, tag them in a post, text them, use a carrier pigeon, address them specifically via smoke signals, etc. I can't promise that this will get you results, however, because it seems like people are too lazy/big of assholes to respond to texts and what not... But that's a whole different blog =)

Another way to overcome the bystander effect may to just simply be aware of it so you can consciously make an effort to notice if it is happening and hopefully act against it. So the take home message is that if you see someone who's looking for something to do or someone to go see a show with on Facebook, don't just assume someone else is going to respond and do it yourself. Chances are, everyone else is thinking, "Someone else is going to respond so why bother?" This especially applies if it's something I post. I always love comments and responses, which is why I obsessively do it on other peoples' posts all the time.

If anyone actually decides to put my little theory to the test, let me know how it goes. From a personal standpoint, hopefully by taking a more proactive and direct approach I won't be spending too many more weekends like this holed up at home.

... Or maybe I'm just an asshole.

Let's Get Physical

The inspiration behind this post comes from my friend Ashley. Much like myself, in addition to being a student Ashley is extremely involved on campus. Earlier this year, Ashley snagged herself a prestigious position as an orientation leader. For those who don't go to the U of MN, orientation leaders lead students through orientation all summer long and then assist with our welcome week we have for incoming students. It's a HUGE time commitment and, from the sounds of it, you're basically the university's bitch for a couple months.

A few days ago, Ashley wrote a blog about her orientation leadering experience and quite honestly, I almost had an aneurysm from reading about how unhealthy her lifestyle has become. She's not eating right, not sleeping much, and not having time for exercise. As someone who makes his health a top priority, this greatly disturbs me. Because of this, I wanted to share a couple of health/fitness tips for busy people. I know that I sometimes have a hard time fitting in sleep or exercise but I've found that cutting them out only makes things so much worse. I generally feel like a fatass and have a tendency to spiral into a mental breakdown (see also: me during finals week).
Keep in mind that I'm not a doctor but I do have an extreme passion for fitness and health so I spend a lot of time reading up on them and I make sure that all of my sources are basing their claims on empirical evidence and not just pulling it out of their asses.

If you can't find time for a solid workout, break it into 10 minute chunks throughout the day. It's recommended that you get your heart rate up for thirty minutes a day most days a week. Sometimes you just don't have time to devote a solid thirty minutes to exercise. If this is the case, break it up into 10 minute chunks. The key there is make sure you're moving for at least 10 minutes because any less and exercise really isn't as effective as it could be. Of course, if you can squeeze in a full 30 minutes that's still preferable. Personally, I generally will do 40 minutes right when I wake up to get myself energized but sometimes I'll break it into a 10 minute and 20 minute chunk if I'm really busy.

Make sleeping a priority. Ashley describes in her blog that her mood has been affected by her spotty sleep patterns and I am not surprised at all. There are numerous studies showing that lack of sleep, for lack of a better term, fucks you up. You should ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS make sure you get enough sleep. Studies have shown, too, that college students who get more sleep actually perform better than those who don't. As a psychology major, this makes complete sense because it allows for your brain to recover and make more neural connections. From a weight loss/health perspective, sleep is extremely important in maintaining a healthy weight. When you sleep, you burn a TON of calories and all the hormones in your body get back in sync. Not getting enough sleep can, and probably, will lead to weight gain. Now what do you do if you have little time for sleep? Nap. Not a long one but take a 20 minute nap and you'll feel surprisingly refreshed. I suggest against taking a nap much longer because research tends to show that that can leave you feeling groggy or mess up your sleeping cycle.

Don't think you can escape getting the full amount of sleep you need each night. Everyone needs a different amount of sleep. Some people need significantly less and others may need up to 10 hours to wake feeling refreshed. However, for most adults, it averages around 8 hours (this number changes with age). If you don't get this amount, you'll be fine for a day or two but your body will develop a sleep debt and you'll have to get that sleep at another time or have it take a toll on your mental and physical functioning. Again, try taking naps. Otherwise, there are resources on the internet that can teach you how to alter your sleeping schedule so you need less sleep and the sleep you get is more effective. However, I am not sure what the scientific literature says about the safety or effectiveness of these drastic lifestyle changes (yes, they're drastic!) so I do not in anyway endorse them and urge you to use caution if you decide to test them out.

Incidental movements are your BFF. I'm sure you're like, "What the fuck is an incidental movement? Is it like a spasm?" No, it's not a spasm. It's a term for non-exercise movements that you happen to do throughout the day such as walking across the room, brushing your teeth, shaking your legs, or walking up and down stairs. While each individual action might not burn that many calories, they add up. That's why finding ways to add more movements, even if they're little, can greatly benefit you. That being said, don't expect to get ripped via this method. They'll help stave off fat and are a great addition to an exercise regime, but they're no replacement for actual exercise.

Combine activities. I used to do this when one of my psychology classes offered online lectures. I'd download the recordings and listen to them while I ran or did yoga. This way, I was both getting exercising and studying done at the same time. If there's any way you can do something while exercising, do it! Bring your reading with you to the gym and do it on the treadmill. Be creative!

Eat foods that are nutrient dense. Calories are not a bad thing. In fact, you need to get a certain amount of calories per day just to maintain basic functions  (For an estimate, multiply your body weight by 10. If you weigh 140, you need 1400 calories before your body starts using muscle tissue for energy). Of course, the more activity in your day the more calories you need. The key is to make sure that each calorie you intake is accompanied by as many nutrients as possible. Finding foods like this is actually a lot easier than it may seem. Look for (non-artificially colored) foods with bright colors. For example, spinach is more nutrient dense than iceberg lettuce so making a salad with spinach instead of lettuce is a great way to improve your diet. You'll feel better and by taking a few extra moments to think about your meal choices, you'll be healthier and feel better.

There's a lot more I could share but I think this is a good start for most of you. Start slow and stay committed! Your life will be so much better by just taking a little bit of time for yourself each day to remain healthy.

If you have any tips you'd like to share, feel free to post them in the comments! I'd love to hear what works for you!

Summer in the city means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage.

Obligatory comment about how I suck at blogging and fully intend to start writing on here more often (though I will more than likely not follow through with that to be honest.)

Good, now that that's out of the way we can move on to more pressing matters. For those of you who are unaware, this is my first week of summer. I'm... actually not that excited. I'm taking O Chem II (assuming I passed O Chem I... which I'm still unsure of) so that will take up most of my time. During my free time, I will be doing... nothing. Everyone is so busy lately and it seems like no one can ever, or wants to, spare some time for me.

But whatever. There are some things I am looking forward to! I'm turning 21 at the end of July so that should be fun. And if it's not, I'll be drunk so I won't care! I'm hoping to maybe go to Lollapalooza in August and maybe Summerfest, assuming I can find someone to go with.

Of course, there is also going to be plenty of time for me to exercise so I have lots of new fitness goals! I'm doing (well, attempting to do) Insanity. I just did the fitness today and it was TOUGH. I couldn't even finish it! Tomorrow, I'll be starting the first real workout.

Well. This is my attempt at at blogging. Anyone else have fun summer plans?

All Hallow's Eve

For those of you haven't had the joy of living with me (or at least spending an extended amount of time with me), you probably aren't aware of how seriously I take holidays. I love decorating for the season and watching cheesey specials that every TV show seems to have for every holiday. My obsession extends so much that I even get pretty into holidays such as Easter (despite not being Christian), 4th of July, and Singles Awareness Day (my sort of pseudo-anti Valentines Day substitute). My favorite holiday, however, is Halloween. I LOVE Halloween. Maybe it's because I can turn off my inner skeptic for a while and pretend that ghost stories are real or maybe it's all the freaking sugar (or maybe it's that I can use it as an excuse to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch...), something about Halloween tickles my fancy like no other holiday does.

It seems as I've grown older, my Halloween celebrations have changed... or at least the last three years they've changed. Until I was 17, I would go trick-or-treating around my entire neighborhood... and my dad came with until I was probably 15. When I was 18, I did an abridged version of trick-or-treating, mainly to show off my Sarah Palin costume. Last year, despite having an epic Pikachu costume, I just walked around West Lafayette. This year I carved a pumpkin, watched the first 12 Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episodes, watched 5 of the Sabrina Halloween specials (not that I own them on DVD or anything... Haha), and will soon be going out to go dancing. Yes, I realize it's a Sunday and I'm in college but let's be honest: I need a day off. Like completely off. And that's exactly what I did. Despite being an adult, I think I'll always be pretty child-like when it comes to Halloween and I hope that someday I can help make Halloween a magical experience for my kids kind of like my dad did for me. Also, it means I'll get to tag along with my kids trick or treating... something I sorely miss.

While this Halloween season has been a bit busy and different than most (I'm living in an apartment and not at home) and I haven't been able to celebrate as much as I'd like to, it still was a great season as always. I really look forward to next October rolling around. Hopefully I'll have time for lots of spooky stories, going on a ghost tour, and other activities that make this time of year so great.

The Past is a Place You Can Never Return To

"As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends forever"

"Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C

Anyone else remember that song? It seems like forever ago that it came out. I used to always listen to it around this time of year and imagine myself graduating high school and how sad I'd be to say goodbye to everyone. Well, last year it finally happened for real. High school was... over.

Now, it's been a year since my graduation and it's time for another class to graduate and move on to the next phase of their lives. For the first time in your lives, you'll have complete control over what you do. Some of you may choose to begin working right away. Others may take some time off to travel or volunteer or do whatever it is you need to do. Most of you will go on to college and then who knows what. I'd like to offer some advice to any of you who will be moving on to college. As many of you know, I took college classes my senior year so I've technically already finished two years of college and these are just a few things I wish someone would have told me before I started my first semester.

Freshman year, take as many of your general ed requirements as possible. Many people want to start on their major as soon as possible (I know I did!) but it's best to to get your generals out of the way. Chances are they're the classes you don't want to take anyway and it's best to get them out of the way so you don't have to take them later. Besides, no matter what your major is, you'll have to do them anyway. This way, if you change majors you won't have wasted your time.

While doing the above, take at least one of your generals in your planned major. This will give you a chance to see what the major you're planning on going into is REALLY like. College is a lot different than high school. For example, I slept through the semester of high school chemistry I had and I still got an A. When I got to college, I had to work my ass off to do well. It was quite a shock!

Don't be afraid to change majors. This is especially true your first year. It's best to do it right away, anyway, so you don't have to go an extra year or take summer classes. Any classes you have already taken won't be wasted: They'll count as electives toward graduation and possibly as general requirements as well. Most people change majors. When I started college, I wanted to be a movie director. I changed majors a couple times and am now a psychology major and am also doing pre-med. Pretty big switch, right? As you go out and take classes, experience new things, and meet people you'll realize things about yourself and your interests and skills that will affect your educational choices.

Join at least one student group. Chances are there are trillions of student groups at your school and there is probably one that you'll be interested in. This is also how you'll make a lot of your friends (in addition to those you meet in your dorm, if you live in the dorm, and your classes) and it'll look good on a resume to be involved with SOMETHING. Besides, you never know what opportunities will come your way because of your involvement!

Be prepared to work hard. College is portrayed a lot differently in the media than how it actually is. Those people who are out partying all the time? They're the ones who fail out of college or end up graduating in seven years. College is a LOT of work. You'll have a lot of freedom but there's also a LOT of work. Nothing I can say will you prepare you for it. It'll be a shock at first but you'll be able to handle it. Just don't get behind because it's a lot harder to catch up than it is to do the work in the first place.

Don't be afraid to drop a class, take a class over the summer, or transfer. I dropped a class my first semester and I thought I would die. Turns out pretty much everyone does it and having one or two W's on your transcript isn't a big deal. Most people will end up taking a summer class, too. Usually it is to catch up on credits from dropped classes or semesters where you don't take as many credits. Transferring is also an option if you end up not liking where you chose to go to school. I did it and it was definitely a good decision. It's another one of those things that it's best to get it done early so 1) you don't spend 2-3 years somewhere you don't like and 2) if any of your credits don't transfer correctly you can retake any classes you need to. Again, those classes will transfer as electives and will count toward your overall graduation requirement.

I have much more I could say but I think I've covered most of the major points I wanted to make. Congratulations to the class of 2010. Enjoy the last time you'll spend with your classmates. Life will take all of you in many different directions and who knows who when, or if, you'll see each other again. Take this summer easy. Have fun and make lots of friends in college. And most of all, get excited because the rest of your lives start sooner than you think.

Not to out myself as a nerd or anything...

... but I wrote a paper for my Anthropology of Dreaming and Myth class about The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Some of you may know it as THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME OF ALL TIME. Seriously, I have the soundtrack on my iPod (and I actually listen to it!) (I shouldn't have admitted that, should I?) Several of you had requested to read it so I thought I'd post it on here for anyone who so desires to take a gander at... But remember, per my last blog, it's copyright me so don't even think of stealing it you plagiarizing little shit heads.

The Hero of Time

    In our modern culture of science and rationality, it can often seem that we don’t have a need or place for myths and legends, dismissing them as nonsense or primitive legends that only existed as explanations for why things happened before science unraveled many of the mysteries of our world. Joseph Campell warns, however, that without a modern myth we may be overdue for an ecological disaster. Not to argue with an esteemed anthropologist like Mr. Campell, but it seems to me that modern myths and legends are all around. The stories of fictional characters such as Harry Potter and Santa Claus have become integrated into our culture as myths, as have the lives of many historical figures such as George Washington and Marilyn Monroe. Unlike the myths of the past, however, our myths may be told through a variety of mediums that did not exist until the advent of electricity and modern machinery such as radio, film, and animation. One platform that myths may be displayed upon that is often over looked is that of video games. Since their invention, video games have developed story lines that are exponentially more complex than those of early video games such as Pac Man and the original Super Mario Brothers. A perfect example of such complexity can be found in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. The story of Link’s quest to save his homeland, Hyrule, featured in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time follows Joseph Campell’s monomyth outline almost perfectly and is thus a shining example of a modern day myth.
    The game starts out with a nightmare that features two characters that will become very important in the plot later on: Zelda, princess of Hyrule, and Ganondorf, king of the otherwise all female Gerudo tribe. In the dream, Zelda is riding away on a horse from Ganondorf. This is a scene that will be repeated later in the game and the clairvoyant nature of this dream is the introduction of the supernatural elements that will be found throughout the story. As Link wakes, the scene for the beginning of the legend is set: Link lives in the Kokiri forest, a forest inhabited by a tribe known as the Kokiri, who stop aging at a young age and thus remain children forever. Each Kokiri has a fairy that follows him or her around, offering advice and companionship. Until this particular day, Link was without a fairy but Link is awoken from his nightmare by the fairy, Navi, who will soon become his companion fairy. She tells Link that he must come with her to speak to the Great Deku Tree, guardian of the forest. Link follows and the Deku tree informs him that he is cursed and asks him to go inside him and break the curse. This serves as the first part of the monomyth, the call to action. Campell (2008) says that “typical of the circumstances of the call are the dark forest, the great tree, ... and the loathly, underestimated appearance of the carrier of the power of destiny” (p. 43). Link’s call contains all of these; a child living in the forest is called by a guardian tree to help save him and, as soon revealed, the world.
    Because this is a video game and there needs to be something for the player to do, the second part of the monomyth, the refusal of the call to adventure, is not present in the story line. Instead, Link accepts the Deku Tree’s charge. After the curse is broken, the Deku Tree tells him that even though Link succeeded, the tree’s death was inevitable because he has been cursed by an evil man. The Deku Tree tells Link he must leave the forest and stop the man who did this to him before he causes further trouble. This leads into part three of the monomyth, supernatural assistance, which occurs in two parts. First, the dying Deku tree grants Link the Kokiri Emerald, spiritual stone of the forest, which will later help him in his quest, and tells him he must leave the forest and speak with the princess of Hyrule, Zelda. Next, as he is leaving the forest, Link’s good friend Saria is there waiting for him. She says that she knew he would leave the forest one day despite the Kokiri tribe being forbidden from leaving the forest. As a parting gift, she hands him an ocarina, a musical instrument that becomes a key element in the storyline. Campell (2008) states that the supernatural aid often comes from an old man or woman (p. 57). The Great Deku Tree definitely fits the old man part and while Saria may not be an old woman in the traditional sense, she is the oldest she will ever be so she could qualify as an old woman in a more abstract sense.
    After parting with Saria, the story of Link continues in it’s procession with the fourth aspect of the monomyth, the crossing of the first threshold, as Link leaves the familiarity of the forest and enters into the kingdom of Hyrule for the first time ever. This is a simple but significant action that most players think nothing of. Growing up as a Kokiri, Link had always been told that if he left the forest, he would die. However, Link is very much so still alive and has entered into the unknown and mysterious adventure that lies ahead of him. As he’s leaving, a wise old owl tells him that he really isn’t a member of the Kokiri tribe and that he actually belongs to the race of the Hylians (which are the equivalent of “normal” people). Link journeys onward and eventually, he meets with the princess. Zelda tells him that Ganondorf has been searching for the three spiritual stones because if one possesses all three stones and plays a song on the sacred Ocarina of Time inside the temple of time, a gate to the Sacred Realm will open. Inside the Sacred Realm lies a treasure of ultimate power, the Triforce, which will grant the wishes of whoever possesses it. She and Link make a pact to stop Ganondorf; Zelda vows to protect the Ocarina of Time if Link will go collect the other two spiritual stones that he does not possess. This conversation with Zelda is Link’s entering into the belly of the whale, the fifth element of the hero myth. From here on out, there’s no turning back for Link. His promise to Zelda has permanently bound him to the quest for he now knows the seriousness of what he has been charged with.
    On a more literal level, to acquire the third spiritual stone Link literally must enter the actual belly of a whale. However, aside from that similarity, the next phase of Link’s journey, the collection of the spiritual stones (and later, the collection of medallions from the sages), fits much better as the road of trials. Campell (2008) says that the road is a “dream landscape of curiously fluid, ambiguous forms, where [the hero] must survive a succession of trials” (p. 81). Attaining each of the spiritual stones is definitely a series of trials because getting them is no easy task. In order for Link to get the second one, the Goron’s Ruby, he must climb a volcano, enter a cave with many puzzles and monsters and defeat a giant lizard-like creature. To get the third spiritual stone, the Zora’s Sapphire, he must enter a whale and defeat a giant octopus monster. Not only are these tasks difficult but they are situations that one would next expect to encounter in real life which satisfies the dream-like landscape of Campell’s specifications.
    The meeting with the goddess is interspersed throughout Link’s adventure via a series of helpful fairies that grant him special powers and restore his health when he has been injured. Link’s first encounter is with the Great Fairy, queen of all the fairies, occurs while Link is on the mountain trying to get the Goron’s Ruby. The Great Fairy bestows upon Link a special ability that will help him on his quest as well as fills up his health meter. The bestowing of this gift is a sign of the fairy’s love for not only Link but for the entire planet which Link is responsible for saving. According to Campell, this love is a key feature of the monomyth. The love the Great Fairy has for Link, in the form of the aid she gives him, is a lot like that of a mother protecting her child. This maternal love is an essential feature to the hero cycle and often comes through via the goddess.
    The eighth aspect of the monomyth is temptation of the woman. While Link is not tempted by any women in this adventure, while inside the whale’s belly trying to get the third spiritual stone, he is severely hindered in his efforts by a woman. Before the king of the Zoras, a water dwelling tribe found in Hyrule, will give him the Zora’s Sapphire, Link has to find the princess of the Zoras, Ruto, who has gone missing because she stole the sapphire. Link discovers that she has gone inside the belly of a whale that is sacred to the Zoras and follows her inside. He doesn’t need to journey far inside to find the princess but upon finding her, he is told that she lost the stone. She then makes him carry her around the inside of the whale until they find the stone. While women in hero myths generally tempt men by making them lustful and appealing to their animal desires, Ruto does the opposite here; her bratty behavior and demands no doubt tempt Link to give up on finding the last spiritual stone. However, he puts up with her and resists any temptation to quit and is rewarded with the final spiritual stone.
    Upon getting the final spiritual stone, Link head back to Hyrule Castle to meet with Zelda. As he approaches the drawbridge, however, the sky grows dark and Zelda rushes by on a horse with her handmaid, throwing something into the moat as she passes. She is followed by none other than Ganondorf on a dark horse. As he passes Link, he looks at him and smiles a sinister smile. Link dives into the water and discovers that Zelda has entrusted him with the sacred Ocarina of Time. He takes the instrument and heads to the Temple of Time. After opening the door, Link heads in and finds a pedestal with a sword in it. He pulls out the sword and is transported to the Sacred Realm seven years in the future. Here, he meets with a sage name Rauru who serves as a sort of father figure in the next phase of the hero myth, the atonement with the father. Campell states that the father figure is someone with a lot of power and who must initiate the hero and Rauru does just that. As a sage, he has power, combined with the other six sages, to help the hero defeat Ganondorf who, Link is informed, has turned Hyrule into a land of darkness. He also initiates Link into the second part of his quest in which he must travel across Hyrule and awaken five other sages who are unaware they are a sage so they can help him defeat Ganondorf. Link submits to the will of Rauru, much like a hero submits to the will of any powerful father figure, and goes out to finish his quest. Another possibility for this step comes at the very end of the game when Link must fight Ganondorf’s ultra powerful alter ego, Ganon. Ganon is the ultimate representation of evil in the game and thus could be seen as a sort of devious father figure, especially if one looks at the initiation in this step as Link’s defeat of Ganon, thus initiating him as the Hero of Time.
    For the rest of Link’s journey the other parts of Campell’s monomyth formula do not appear in the order he originally wrote them. However, they do all appear at some point minus one, the refusal of the return. For the same reason that he couldn’t refuse the call, Link can’t refuse the call to return to a normal life because it is a video game and if he did, there would be nothing for the player to do or they would be left hanging without a satisfying ending. One step that does occur, however, is Link’s mastery of two worlds, the Hyrule of his childhood and the Hyrule seven years in the future. By returning to the Temple of Time as an adult, Link is able to travel through time seven years to manipulate the past and do things that he may only be able to do as either a child or an adult. This freedom to travel between the two lands is unique to him and is an ability he acquired as a result of his heroic actions.
    After meeting with Rauru, Link heads out to find the other sages who are waiting for him in various temples scattered across Hyrule. Along the way, he gets help from a mysterious character named Sheik who he seems to meet before entering each temple. Sheik directs him first to the forest of his childhood where he discovers the first sage is his childhood friend, Saria. After that he travels back the the volcano he was on before to find the second sage is a Goron who helped him last time he was there. He then awakens the final three sages who turn out to be Ruto, Princess Zelda’s handmaid, and a member of Ganondorf’s tribe. Link returns to the temple of time to meet the seventh and final sage. When he arrives, Sheik is waiting for who and he reveals that he is actually Princess Zelda in disguise. She gives Link some magic arrows that will help him defeat Ganondorf and tells him that the Triforce split into three when Ganondorf touched it and that she and Link possess two pieces of it with Ganondorf having the third. However, Ganondorf arrives and kidnaps Zelda and takes her to his castle.
    Link follows Ganondorf to the castle but is unable to get inside due to a moat of lava surrounding it. The six sages come to the rescue, however, and build a bridge of light which allows Link to cross not only the moat but also the return threshold. Link is at the final part of his quest and soon, he will be able to return home. There is still one thing he must do first: defeat Ganondorf and save both Hyrule and Zelda. Thus comes the next part of his quest, the magic flight (or, more appropriately in this case, the magic fight). Rather than running away from danger, Link faces it head on. He uses all of his magic items he has obtained throughout his journey as well as the magic that has been bestowed upon him by the Great Fairy to defeat Ganondorf, which after a tough fight he appears to have succeeded in. However, Ganondorf uses his piece of the Triforce to transform himself into Ganon, a powerful boar-like creature. This transformation brings about another element of the monomyth, the rescue from without. Link is unable to defeat Ganon on his own and requires the assistance of the sages. Zelda, who was set free when Ganondorf was originally defeated, helps Link retrieve his sword which he dropped during Ganon’s transformation and uses her magic to paralyze Ganon while Link attacks him. While there is no doubt that Link would have put up a good fight, he would be unable to take out Ganon without Zelda’s help. Not even heroes can do everything alone and this is a theme reflected in the rescue from without across many myths and legends. Finally, Zelda and Link manage to defeat Ganon and return him to his human form of Ganondorf. The seven sages use their magic powers to seal Ganon in the Sacred Realm along with his piece of the Triforce, yet another example of Link needing assistance in his quest.
    Having defeated Ganondorf and sealing him away to prevent him from causing further trouble (at least for the time being), Link has done one of the most critical steps of the hero myth, the collection of the ultimate boon or achievement of his quest. The defeat of Ganondorf means that Hyrule has been saved and Link has done what the Great Deku Tree sent him out to do; he stopped the evil man who cursed him. This may be the most important part of the monomyth because if the hero does not succeed, they more than likely will not be revered as a hero or have their story told for many generations to come. In the context of Ocarina of Time, Link gains the title of Hero of Time for his heroic efforts. Of course, Link and Zelda will be the only ones who end up remembering many of the heroic deeds that have been carried out by not only Link but Zelda and the other sages because of the final events of the game. Link is okay with this, however, because he has reached apotheosis, a state of mind in which the hero is filled with knowledge, love, and joy for the world. Link doesn’t care about glory or honor and is content in knowing that because of him Hyrule will not be subjected to the many horrors it could have faced because of Ganondorf. This love and compassion is something he undoubtedly will carry with him through the rest of his life.
    After Ganon’s defeat, Zelda and Link have a chance to talk. Zelda thanks Link for all he has done and apologizes because she feels she dragged him into a messy situation. As a continuation of the assistance from without and the final piece of the monomyth, the freedom to live, Zelda takes the Ocarina of Time of time from Link and plays a song to take him back in time seven years to his own time period. This is Zelda’s gift to Link; she gives him the gift of a normal life and the gift of the seven years that he did not get to experience. He no longer has to worry about the fate of the world, something that was thrust upon him at all too young of an age. He instead can live a normal life with only himself and Zelda knowing of the events that took place. The game ends with a scene of Zelda and Link meeting again for the first time as children.
    Ocarina of Time was released twelve years ago in 1998 and has hardly had enough to time to develop into a classic myth like those found in Greek literature and other cultures. However, for many gamers who have grown up playing Ocarina of Time and experienced the magic of acting out the role of Link, the Hero of Time, it is nothing short of a legendary experience which is why The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is such a fantastic example of a modern day myth that follows Joseph Campell’s monomyth formula. It has inspired so many people all over the world and its impacts may not be fully seen for a long while. Perhaps someday in the future college students learning about the mythology present during our lifetime will get to relive the trials and tribulations of Link as he lives up to his title, the Hero of Time.

Works Cited

Campell, J. (2008). The hero with a thousand faces. Novato, CA: New World Library.

From coast to coast and star to star

I don't know why but tonight I started thinking about transferring... again. I know, I know... I just did this last semester so shouldn't I be happy with where I am? Well, I am happy at Minnesota. This is why it's so strange that I'm having these thoughts.

I've started looking into the national student exchange program where I could take classes at a different university for a semester or even a full year but... I'm not sure if that's enough or what I really want and I'm not sure how I'd be able to swing it with all the classes I need to take to graduate on time/ahead of schedule/whatever the fuck track I'm on right now.

But I was just thinking... maybe if I'd have taken my college decision more seriously, I would've gone to the University of the Pacific instead of Purdue. And I'd be in California right now. Or maybe I would have applied elsewhere in Cali or to the University of Toronto (I really should have applied there).

I suppose there's nothing I can do about it now (except for research time travel). And besides, I genuinely enjoy where I am; I've got great friends in a great place and I'm getting so many opportunities to do things that I didn't have at Purdue (MPAC, research, being an SSDP board member, etc.) but I can't shake this feeling. Hopefully it'll pass.

Maybe I just need to go on a vacation (not that I can afford one, mind you). I've never really been on a REAL vacation. We always go somewhere to visit relatives or to Wisconsin... which usually involves meeting relatives there. I'd really like to go someplace wild and unfamiliar just to GO there, you know? Like to see the sights or just spend time there or whatever. That'd be great...

Celebrate a brand new day

"Only hang out with the people you like. I figured that out and it changed my life."
- Emily Haines

A friend of mine introduced me to that quote today. I'd never heard it before which is kinda strange considering I'm mildly obsessed with that woman. Regardless, I think there's remarkable wisdom in those words.

It seems that a lot of my time in high school and even since then I've spent hanging out around people who I honestly thought weren't the greatest people/friends and ignored some of the best people I know. And, more importantly, I wasted my time not really enjoying myself. Life's too short for that.

Well dammit, it's not happening anymore. I'm technically a sophomore in college now. I don't have time for people that I don't actually want to spend time with for whatever reason. I'm making the people who are good to me my priority.

This is the start of a new phase in my life.

No, I can't really make you love me

It's time to bust out another side of me: Joey the Emo. Or as I affectionately call him, Weepy McGirlJeans. He's a chipper fellow.

As much as I'm really enjoying being back at the U (and really, I am- It definitely was a wise decision on my part to transfer) and it's nice to get out of the house everyday, there is one teensy weensy little thing I forgot about: All those damn couples that seem to be found on college campuses. Seriously, they're everywhere!!! It's like there's a fountain of lovey dovey couples that just sprung forth behind Coffman. Everytime I see one holding hands, I wanna just walk right through them so they STOP. Or better yet cut their hands off. They walk around all smug and touch each other and rub each other and, worst of all, insist upon sticking their tongues down each other's throats all the time. Get a fucking room. But please use a condom because we don't need more of you in the world.

All sarcasm and bitterness aside, I think the real reason they bother me so much is that they remind me that I'm alone. Don't get me wrong, I have fantastic friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world... but it doesn't help one's self confidence to be 19 and have never been in a relationship or even had a "thing" with anyone. It's really pathetic, isn't it? Am I really THAT undesirable? I mean, I know plenty of people out there who smell, are practically deformed looking, are generally a bitch/asshole, and otherwise lack any qualities one would find desirable in a partner but yet they seem to go through lovers like Rush Limbaugh goes through pill bottles.

And you know what the worst part is? This damn holiday coming up. As if they need a whole day to rub it in my face with their fat naked babies shooting things and fattening chocolates and ugly as shit pink... shit. Yes, I'm talking about Singles Awareness Day. February 14th is by far the worst day of the year. And I don't even have a cat to smother... with love. I wouldn't ACTUALLY smother it...

Anywho, who knows how I'll celebrate this year. Probably like I have the last few years: Attempting to go out, being reminded that I'm a failure at life, returning home, turning on some No Doubt and spending the rest of the night crying in my room. Or perhaps I'll get a bottle of Arbor Mist and drown my pain in seven dollar wine. Either way, one thing is for sure: I'm spending another S.A.D. alone.