I haven't been snowboarding for very long. This will be my 4th year and my first year I only made it out once and only twice last year so I'm not particularly good at it but it's something I really enjoy and would like to get better at. One thing I've struggled with for a while is being able to turn toe side. Toe side turning is essential to be able to look like this much of a badass.
I spent some time on the bunny hill to work on toe side turning... and also because the lift operator was hot. And had a pleasant aroma that one could smell from a distance. Yeah, I'm shameless but he smelled a combination of manly and something I'd like to fuck.
Finally, after an hour of falling, frustration, and flan* I managed to stay balanced on my toe side and flip my board around... which resulted in me falling forward into the snow. This was, however, still a big step because I had, up until that point, not had much luck even veering in that direction.
*There wasn't any actual flan. Flan is mentioned only because of its F... and because I really like talking about flan.
I stayed on the bunny hill for a while longer working on turning and taking deep nostril inhales each time I got back on the chairlift. I managed to get to the point where I can somewhat switch back and forth between balancing toe side and heel side and I can direct myself in the toe side direction... though if it came to having to toe side turn suddenly, I'd probably pull a Sonny Bono and perish in an unfortunate tree accident.
In a lucky coincidence, I managed, during a break from my life as some sort of snow sprite to discover that the main chalet has a bar! And they serve wine! And then I saw a fox! Three things I love combined so perfectly it almost seemed too good to be true.
Following my snow adventures I returned home to find out I won a pair of tickets to Dr. Dog at First Avenue in February! It's part of my life strategy of entering as many contests as I possibly can. I figure this way I'm bound to win at least a couple of them and if it's something I end up not liking, I can sell it on eBay for CA$H M0N3Y.*
*I hate people who type like that, too.
Overall, it was a great day. I didn't let things that usually would've brought me down get in my way. Yes, it hurt slamming my ass into the hill repeatedly and face planting on the bunny hill. And yes, I wanted to rip that girl who was standing at the bottom of the chairlift unload texting and taking pictures of her boyfriend's throat out.* And yes, I was upset that my efforts to catch the previously mentioned fox resulted in it running away into the woods and a mandatory court date to discuss the restraining order in March. But I kept a positive attitude and kept working hard and in the end there was a positive outcome! So that's the take home message. Work hard. And don't chase foxes. They're well versed in the legal system.
*SERIOUSLY?! Did you eat paint chips or stupid candy when you were little?! You're going to get hit or at the very least piss off a bunch of people. This isn't the Olive Garden or a cheap motel. GO ELSEWHERE
Going back to snowboarding, I listened to some new music today while snowboarding and it got me to thinking of some of my favorite songs to snowboard to. So I half-assedly created this awesome playlist that you can try out next time you're racing down a hill covered the solid phase of a common molecule on a piece of fiberglass... Or not. It's your life. You've probably seen a few of these before but like I said, I half assed it.
1. Polish Girl- Neon Indian
2. Cradle- The Joy Formidable
3. Just A Girl- No Doubt
4. Dead Disco- Metric
5. Sun of a Gun- Oh Land
6. Marry the Night- Lady Gaga
7. Siberia- Lights
8. M83- Midnight City
9. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns
10. Dance With The Devil- The Sounds
So. What do you listen to when you snowboard? Or ski, if you're really white. Or whatever sport you play... Extreme pig wrestling? Pilatescross? I don't care. This is me trying to engage you. Throw me a frickin' bone.
