All Hallow's Eve

For those of you haven't had the joy of living with me (or at least spending an extended amount of time with me), you probably aren't aware of how seriously I take holidays. I love decorating for the season and watching cheesey specials that every TV show seems to have for every holiday. My obsession extends so much that I even get pretty into holidays such as Easter (despite not being Christian), 4th of July, and Singles Awareness Day (my sort of pseudo-anti Valentines Day substitute). My favorite holiday, however, is Halloween. I LOVE Halloween. Maybe it's because I can turn off my inner skeptic for a while and pretend that ghost stories are real or maybe it's all the freaking sugar (or maybe it's that I can use it as an excuse to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch...), something about Halloween tickles my fancy like no other holiday does.

It seems as I've grown older, my Halloween celebrations have changed... or at least the last three years they've changed. Until I was 17, I would go trick-or-treating around my entire neighborhood... and my dad came with until I was probably 15. When I was 18, I did an abridged version of trick-or-treating, mainly to show off my Sarah Palin costume. Last year, despite having an epic Pikachu costume, I just walked around West Lafayette. This year I carved a pumpkin, watched the first 12 Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episodes, watched 5 of the Sabrina Halloween specials (not that I own them on DVD or anything... Haha), and will soon be going out to go dancing. Yes, I realize it's a Sunday and I'm in college but let's be honest: I need a day off. Like completely off. And that's exactly what I did. Despite being an adult, I think I'll always be pretty child-like when it comes to Halloween and I hope that someday I can help make Halloween a magical experience for my kids kind of like my dad did for me. Also, it means I'll get to tag along with my kids trick or treating... something I sorely miss.

While this Halloween season has been a bit busy and different than most (I'm living in an apartment and not at home) and I haven't been able to celebrate as much as I'd like to, it still was a great season as always. I really look forward to next October rolling around. Hopefully I'll have time for lots of spooky stories, going on a ghost tour, and other activities that make this time of year so great.

Singles Awareness Day: Let's call it what it is

Ahhhhh, Singles Awareness Day... Possibly the only holiday devoted completely to making people feel worse about themselves. The only reason this day exists is so candy and flower companies can dish out more product during their slow season. I don't see why we need a whole day for couples to go out and rub their happiness in the rest of our faces.

This year, I'm gonna be honest about something: I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough for a relationship. Yeah, as much as I'd LIKE one it honestly probably isn't a good a idea. I'd drive whoever I was dating completely batshit because I'm so irritable and stressed all the time. I wouldn't want to force that upon someone. It just would be nice to have someone to rely on... and to bang. Banging would be swell.

I would like to make one slightly less cynical point: Couples, shouldn't you be treating each other like you do around Singles Awareness Day all year long? (minus the PDA... That shit needs to stop) Why is it that this one day/couple of days each year you decide that you're going to appreciate each other? Shouldn't you do that all the time? After all, there are some of us who have never been in a relationship and would kill something to do so. So appreciate it, you ungrateful bastards.

No, I can't really make you love me

It's time to bust out another side of me: Joey the Emo. Or as I affectionately call him, Weepy McGirlJeans. He's a chipper fellow.

As much as I'm really enjoying being back at the U (and really, I am- It definitely was a wise decision on my part to transfer) and it's nice to get out of the house everyday, there is one teensy weensy little thing I forgot about: All those damn couples that seem to be found on college campuses. Seriously, they're everywhere!!! It's like there's a fountain of lovey dovey couples that just sprung forth behind Coffman. Everytime I see one holding hands, I wanna just walk right through them so they STOP. Or better yet cut their hands off. They walk around all smug and touch each other and rub each other and, worst of all, insist upon sticking their tongues down each other's throats all the time. Get a fucking room. But please use a condom because we don't need more of you in the world.

All sarcasm and bitterness aside, I think the real reason they bother me so much is that they remind me that I'm alone. Don't get me wrong, I have fantastic friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world... but it doesn't help one's self confidence to be 19 and have never been in a relationship or even had a "thing" with anyone. It's really pathetic, isn't it? Am I really THAT undesirable? I mean, I know plenty of people out there who smell, are practically deformed looking, are generally a bitch/asshole, and otherwise lack any qualities one would find desirable in a partner but yet they seem to go through lovers like Rush Limbaugh goes through pill bottles.

And you know what the worst part is? This damn holiday coming up. As if they need a whole day to rub it in my face with their fat naked babies shooting things and fattening chocolates and ugly as shit pink... shit. Yes, I'm talking about Singles Awareness Day. February 14th is by far the worst day of the year. And I don't even have a cat to smother... with love. I wouldn't ACTUALLY smother it...

Anywho, who knows how I'll celebrate this year. Probably like I have the last few years: Attempting to go out, being reminded that I'm a failure at life, returning home, turning on some No Doubt and spending the rest of the night crying in my room. Or perhaps I'll get a bottle of Arbor Mist and drown my pain in seven dollar wine. Either way, one thing is for sure: I'm spending another S.A.D. alone.