Monster Hospital

I've never been one to voice my opinions on things.

Okay, that's a lie.

As I'm sure you've all heard by now, health care reform passed and I'm actually really happy. As a hybrid Libertarian-Democrat whatever you'd call me, I think that government should allow people to do whatever they please as long as what they're doing doesn't physically harm or infringe on others' right to do the same and they should only provide basic, necessary services. One of these services is health care. Maybe it's the compassionate, caring person that's hidden below my vanity and dashing good looks but I don't think anyone should die because they can't afford to go to the doctor. I don't think anyone should have to choose between food and medicine. I don't think anyone's life should be ruined or dreams squashed because they got sick. I don't think anyone should have to worry about debt while their loved ones are sick and/or dying. We should be worried about treating illnesses and not saving a buck. People ask me if I'm willing to pay higher taxes or be payed less as a doctor to pay for health care... The answer is yes. I am willing to pay a little more so that everyone in our country can live a little better.

Today was historic. This could mean new hope for people with cancer, AIDS, diabetes, MS, eating disorders and other mental health illnesses, and other chronic illnesses that require consistent medical attention and/or repeated hospitalizations. They won't have to worry about financial concerns when they have more than enough other concerns weighing them down. I also think that this will be a great step forward for medical marijuana, an issue I'm extremely passionate about. It'll hopefully lessen the pharmaceutical companies' influence over this silly law and allow patients to medicate safely and without fear.

I'm not saying the bill is perfect. There's parts I don't agree with and there's parts I have questions about but it is A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. And honestly, my main concern is for those suffering in our country.

Oh, and I'm also looking forward to all the free abortions. I've already scheduled like twelve different appointments. I know, I'm a dude but I just wanna kill those babies, you know? ;)

On a related topic, something else I'd just like to say: While some of you may disagree with me on this topic, I hope you keep your comments respectful. Just because we may disagree on something like this doesn't make either of us a bad person. We all view things differently because we have different experiences to base our opinions on. Disagreement on a political issue does NOT give anyone the right to be vicious to another person. By all means, be sarcastic and feel free to joke about things... but don't be an asshole, alright?

From coast to coast and star to star

I don't know why but tonight I started thinking about transferring... again. I know, I know... I just did this last semester so shouldn't I be happy with where I am? Well, I am happy at Minnesota. This is why it's so strange that I'm having these thoughts.

I've started looking into the national student exchange program where I could take classes at a different university for a semester or even a full year but... I'm not sure if that's enough or what I really want and I'm not sure how I'd be able to swing it with all the classes I need to take to graduate on time/ahead of schedule/whatever the fuck track I'm on right now.

But I was just thinking... maybe if I'd have taken my college decision more seriously, I would've gone to the University of the Pacific instead of Purdue. And I'd be in California right now. Or maybe I would have applied elsewhere in Cali or to the University of Toronto (I really should have applied there).

I suppose there's nothing I can do about it now (except for research time travel). And besides, I genuinely enjoy where I am; I've got great friends in a great place and I'm getting so many opportunities to do things that I didn't have at Purdue (MPAC, research, being an SSDP board member, etc.) but I can't shake this feeling. Hopefully it'll pass.

Maybe I just need to go on a vacation (not that I can afford one, mind you). I've never really been on a REAL vacation. We always go somewhere to visit relatives or to Wisconsin... which usually involves meeting relatives there. I'd really like to go someplace wild and unfamiliar just to GO there, you know? Like to see the sights or just spend time there or whatever. That'd be great...

Priorities

I am SO MAD right now. For those of you who aren't aware, there was an 8.8 earthquake near Chile this morning and as a result, Hawaii is being threatened with a tsunami... And who's trending on Twitter? Justin Bieber. What the hell is wrong with our world? He didn't do anything recently and let's be honest... he's not that great. But more than anything, there are people dead/dying and more could happen and this is what we care about? When I saw the reaction to Haiti, I almost gained faith in humanity (minus Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson... but they're hardly human) but this... This makes me SO ANGRY. Is Justin Bieber going to save us from the tsunami? And for that matter, where's the reaction similar to Haiti for Chile? Come on people. We can do better than this.

Singles Awareness Day: Let's call it what it is

Ahhhhh, Singles Awareness Day... Possibly the only holiday devoted completely to making people feel worse about themselves. The only reason this day exists is so candy and flower companies can dish out more product during their slow season. I don't see why we need a whole day for couples to go out and rub their happiness in the rest of our faces.

This year, I'm gonna be honest about something: I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough for a relationship. Yeah, as much as I'd LIKE one it honestly probably isn't a good a idea. I'd drive whoever I was dating completely batshit because I'm so irritable and stressed all the time. I wouldn't want to force that upon someone. It just would be nice to have someone to rely on... and to bang. Banging would be swell.

I would like to make one slightly less cynical point: Couples, shouldn't you be treating each other like you do around Singles Awareness Day all year long? (minus the PDA... That shit needs to stop) Why is it that this one day/couple of days each year you decide that you're going to appreciate each other? Shouldn't you do that all the time? After all, there are some of us who have never been in a relationship and would kill something to do so. So appreciate it, you ungrateful bastards.

I tried looking up to you, girl... Errr, dude

Today in my anthropology class we watched a movie about Freud. In the grand tradition of Freud, and my anthropology class for that matter, it ended up being mainly about sex. Seriously, this guy was hella perverted.

But that's not my point.

In the movie, there was a part about Freud's idol and how he'd write him almost romantic letters praising him. Instead of paying attention from this point forward, I got to thinking about who my idols are and I had a realization: They're all women. There really aren't any men out there that I'd say I idolize, at least not in the same way I do my ladies. I mean, I think Tom Dumont and Jimmy Shaw are pretty rad but I don't think I'd say I look up to them.

Is this weird? Like is it weird that I mainly look up to women? I feel like every other guy out there is like, "Duddde, my idol is (insert generic sports figure/rawwwwk musician/their father or grandfather/other manly man)" and I'm like, "Gwen Stefani FTW!"

I guess since I've always gotten along better with girls I've naturally always ended up looking up to them. Or maybe I'm not exposed to enough strong male role models. Or maybe men are just scum. Or maybe my life is just one large estrogen-fest and that's all it'll ever be. =\

Celebrate a brand new day

"Only hang out with the people you like. I figured that out and it changed my life."
- Emily Haines

A friend of mine introduced me to that quote today. I'd never heard it before which is kinda strange considering I'm mildly obsessed with that woman. Regardless, I think there's remarkable wisdom in those words.

It seems that a lot of my time in high school and even since then I've spent hanging out around people who I honestly thought weren't the greatest people/friends and ignored some of the best people I know. And, more importantly, I wasted my time not really enjoying myself. Life's too short for that.

Well dammit, it's not happening anymore. I'm technically a sophomore in college now. I don't have time for people that I don't actually want to spend time with for whatever reason. I'm making the people who are good to me my priority.

This is the start of a new phase in my life.

If you bore me then I'm comfortable

"If you interest me I'm scared
My attraction paralyzes me
No courage to show my true colors that exist
But I wanna be the real thing
But if you catch my eye can't be authentic
The ones I loathe are the ones who know me the best"
-No Doubt

I've never enjoyed having a crush. It's never gone anywhere. It's only wasted my time, built me up and torn me down.

But for some inexplicable reason, lately I kind of... miss it.
I don't know why. But I really want someone to long for, to think of when I hear stupid love songs, to cryptically tweet about...

Okay, so that's not at all what I want: I want something more. Shit, this is getting ridiculous. I'll be 20 in less than six months. Come on, Joey, get your act together. Find someone.

But that's the thing: I have yet to meet someone who excites me like how I need to be excited.

I haven't met anyone I can be passionate about and, as I'm sure you all know, I have a hard time committing to anything that I'm even slightly less than passionate about.

I don't want much. Just someone to rely on. Someone to cuddle with. Someone to talk to when I'm having a bad day. Someone to do shit with.

But everyone that even mildly sparks my interest... also terrifies me. I can't talk to them. I freeze up and go into my shell. This is becoming a huge problem especially since it's extended to new people in general.

I've seriously become this mega hot mess lately. I'm stressed all the time, I can't pull my shit together. I'm afraid of everything. I can barely handle driving. It freaks me out. And there's no one I can talk to about it. No one really gets it or at least pretends to get it.

I want to go out and meet new people. I need to do it, actually. Not even people to date but just like friends. Most of my friends are off at college. Even though I'm back, I'm still really empty and lonely. I feel unimportant.

I want to go out and meet new people... but I don't know how. Or where. Or what to do. And if I do meet new people, I don't think I can handle it.

I don't think there's much I can handle anymore.