My Lucky Day

Yesterday, I had nothing to do all day so I decided to take the opportunity to head out for some snowboarding, one of my favorite activities. It was a great day to hit Minnesota's equivalent of slopes and the (man made) snow was as great as fake snow can be. The temperature was around 50 so I only needed to wear a light jacket and was snug as a bug in a mug conveniently placed on a rug near a pug.

I haven't been snowboarding for very long. This will be my 4th year and my first year I only made it out once and only twice last year so I'm not particularly good at it but it's something I really enjoy and would like to get better at. One thing I've struggled with for a while is being able to turn toe side. Toe side turning is essential to be able to look like this much of a badass.

I spent some time on the bunny hill to work on toe side turning... and also because the lift operator was hot. And had a pleasant aroma that one could smell from a distance. Yeah, I'm shameless but he smelled a combination of manly and something I'd like to fuck.

Finally, after an hour of falling, frustration, and flan* I managed to stay balanced on my toe side and flip my board around... which resulted in me falling forward into the snow. This was, however, still a big step because I had, up until that point, not had much luck even veering in that direction.
*There wasn't any actual flan. Flan is mentioned only because of its F... and because I really like talking about flan.

I stayed on the bunny hill for a while longer working on turning and taking deep nostril inhales each time I got back on the chairlift. I managed to get to the point where I can somewhat switch back and forth between balancing toe side and heel side and I can direct myself in the toe side direction... though if it came to having to toe side turn suddenly, I'd probably pull a Sonny Bono and perish in an unfortunate tree accident.

In a lucky coincidence, I managed, during a break from my life as some sort of snow sprite to discover that the main chalet has a bar! And they serve wine! And then I saw a fox! Three things I love combined so perfectly it almost seemed too good to be true.

Following my snow adventures I returned home to find out I won a pair of tickets to Dr. Dog at First Avenue in February! It's part of my life strategy of entering as many contests as I possibly can. I figure this way I'm bound to win at least a couple of them and if it's something I end up not liking, I can sell it on eBay for CA$H M0N3Y.*
*I hate people who type like that, too.

Overall, it was a great day. I didn't let things that usually would've brought me down get in my way. Yes, it hurt slamming my ass into the hill repeatedly and face planting on the bunny hill. And yes, I wanted to rip that girl who was standing at the bottom of the chairlift unload texting and taking pictures of her boyfriend's throat out.* And yes, I was upset that my efforts to catch the previously mentioned fox resulted in it running away into the woods and a mandatory court date to discuss the restraining order in March. But I kept a positive attitude and kept working hard and in the end there was a positive outcome! So that's the take home message. Work hard. And don't chase foxes. They're well versed in the legal system.
*SERIOUSLY?! Did you eat paint chips or stupid candy when you were little?! You're going to get hit or at the very least piss off a bunch of people. This isn't the Olive Garden or a cheap motel. GO ELSEWHERE

Going back to snowboarding, I listened to some new music today while snowboarding and it got me to thinking of some of my favorite songs to snowboard to. So I half-assedly created this awesome playlist that you can try out next time you're racing down a hill covered the solid phase of a common molecule on a piece of fiberglass... Or not. It's your life. You've probably seen a few of these before but like I said, I half assed it.

1. Polish Girl- Neon Indian
2. Cradle- The Joy Formidable
3. Just A Girl- No Doubt
4. Dead Disco- Metric
5. Sun of a Gun- Oh Land
6. Marry the Night- Lady Gaga
7. Siberia- Lights
8. M83- Midnight City
9. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns
10. Dance With The Devil- The Sounds

So. What do you listen to when you snowboard? Or ski, if you're really white. Or whatever sport you play... Extreme pig wrestling? Pilatescross? I don't care. This is me trying to engage you. Throw me a frickin' bone.

Coachella 2012 Lineup

Coachella announced their line up for their two weekend festival this year. Despite rumors for months that No Doubt would be headlining, the dreams of myself and many other No Doubters are officially crushed as they will NOT be there. I also though that Metric could possibly make an appearance as they have a new album due out in April but alas, it's not happening.

For a look up the line up, you can head here.

Not going to lie, there's a few people that I want to see: Feist hasn't made a Minnesota appearance in a while, the last time Florence + the Machine was here tickets were CRAZY expensive, and the Head and the Heart are ALWAYS great live... but I don't think it'll be worth the money for just a few acts.

Now, I can just anxiously await the Lollapalooza and two mystery Minneapolis festival lineups. Hopefully they'll deliver.

What are everyone's thoughts on Coachella's line up? Are you going to go?

This must be it, welcome to the new year

I'm not a fan of making New Year resolutions for two reasons: The first is that I never keep them. Remember that year I resolved to stop swearing? Didn't last a fucking week. The second is related to the first and stems from me being a psychology nerd. Anyone who mentions to me that they're going on one of those d-words that is related to changes in your eating habits in an attempt to loose weight gets a stern lecture about how said d-words don't work and they really should be making lifestyle changes instead. I hate to hit you with the beating stick of reality but you're not going to be able to eat healthy for six months and then go back to eating the processed, sugar pumped, deep fried, greasy shit you did before and be able to keep the weight off. The psychological literature also suggests that people who attempt to diet will ultimately fail when placed in a cognitively taxing situation.

Wow, it sounds like I'm writing a research paper.

Obviously this applies to other areas of life besides just the d-word. This is why instead of making a New Year resolution, I'm making a NEW YEAR LIFE STYLE CHANGE.

Gwen is excited about lifestyle changes.

I realize I'm a bit late to the party but I really wanted to think this one over seeing as, unlike a resolution, this is going to be a permanent change, I wanted to make sure it was just right. Finally, while I was supposed to be meditating during yoga tonight (Whoops!) I thought of something absolutely perfect.

I do this thing where I'll meet someone, we'll be friends for a while, and then they'll mysteriously become really busy, not contact me on their own, and generally, you know, be a lousy friend. Instead of just moving on, I'll keep trying to be their friend. Well, no more! I'M FINALLY GROWING A PAIR.

 

When this happens, I'm going to tell them they're an asshole and send them a flaming bag of poop and then delete them from my life.

No, I'm totally kidding. What I am going to do, however, is stop making an effort with people who don't make one with me. So when one of these yayhoos makes an appearance in my life, instead of desperately clawing at them and showering them with baked goods, trying to make plans with them, and searching for amusing videos of little girls being headbutted in the ovaries by a raging sheep, I'm just going to stop contacting them.

That's not to say I'll IGNORE them. You have to REALLY send me into a raging whirlwind for me to ignore you. If we run into each other, I'll still be like, "OH HEY GURL HOW YOU BE?!" But I'm not going to go out of my way to see them. I'm not going to text them and be like, "Let's hang out!!!" And I'm definitely not going to spend my time looking for ovary hating sheep. If they really want me in their life, they'll put forth some effort. Friendships are a two way street and it's not healthy for one person to put in ALL of the effort. No one ends up happy that way. It took me a long time to realize this and I'm not saying the lifestyle change will be easy. But I think in the end, it'll ultimately be worthwhile.

On a lighter note, I'm starting to figure out my busy concert going schedule for the year. I love going to live shows but unfortunately this little thing called "college" sometimes get in the way. Oh, that and money. Boo. Here's a short selection of what I have planned so far:

Jan. 29th- Los Campesinos!

April 2nd- The Ting Tings
April 7th- First Aid Kit (possibly, assuming someone will go with me)
April 16th- Cults

Coachella?!?! (Dependent on funds and line up)

May 4th- Neon Indian

June 23rd-24th- This mystery festival that's supposedly happening in Minneapolis

July 20th-21st- First Avenue's festival

August 3rd-5th- Lollapalooza, dependent on funds and line up

Now, clearly there's a large gap in there and my calendar is not near as full as I'd like it to be. Hopefully I'll be making that change as the year really gets going and more artists start touring.

If you're excited about an upcoming show, let me know in a comment! And let me know how you're going to be changing your life this new year!

The Beginning of the End (of Times)

Greetings loyal blog readers and loveable randos!

We are less than 48 hours into 2012, or as the Mayans like to call it, APOCALYPALOOZA!!!! I rang in the New Year at Minnesota's own First Avenue with a friend who I've since before I was sperm.

A shot of the crowd dancing.

 Me attempting to look nice. Did it work?!

The crowd was wild, the drinks were strong, and everyone was having a great time. I was also pleasantly surprised at how responsible everyone seemed to be. I talked to more than a few designated drivers and the buses and taxis of Minneapolis were full. This almost led to us not getting home but thankfully, we met a nice guy at the bus stop who called a friend to come pick us all up and drop us off at home.

I wanted to take a moment to say thanks for reading. I happened to glance upon my blog stats today and I noticed that I have a ton of readers from countries that, well, I don't really know how/why they're reading my blog. I'm talking Russia, Austria, and Latvia. I understand all the US, Canada, and even England but some of these just baffle me.

Maybe it's because I'm actually really fucking famous. Yeah, that's what I'll choose to believe.

Anyway, happy New Year... wherever you're from! Look for (hopefully) more posts from me, especially related to music as I'm trying to do more music blogging and I hopefully will be going on at least one festival and tons of live shows. I'm also going to give album reviews a stab and see how that goes. Keep an eye out for what's to come!

The Joeys: Best of 2011

Ahhh it's that time of year again where year end lists are almost impossible to avoid if you use the internet (which you obviously do if you're reading this). While I find many of the lists that seem to pop up are rather idiotic ("The 10 STIs contracted by Snooki in 2011!"), I do enjoy a lot of the current events ones and I especially enjoy the music ones which is why I try to make an effort to make my own personal list of the best of the year. That and everyone REALLY, REALLY cares what I think.

Anyway, I will shut up now and just get to the goddamn list. I now present to you Joey Lusvardi's picks for the best music of 2011!

LIVE ACT OF THE YEAR

This year, I had the privilege of going to not one but TWO music festivals, SXSW in March and Lollapalooza in August. Obviously, I saw a LOT of bands at these two festivals which made picking my favorite that much more difficult. I went back and forth between a few but ultimately decided that the best band I saw this year was...

THE SOUNDS

I didn't find out the Sounds were going to be at SXSW until just before I left and let me tell you, I flipped a shit. The night we arrived, they were playing at a party hosted by a music blog and the crafty little Soundsie that I am managed to get in in time to catch them. I was pretty far back but still danced until sweat from myself and various strangers was dripping down my entire body. The next day, I happened to run into them on the street. I was pretty damn awkward but managed to get a hug and a picture of myself with Maja!

And, if that wasn't enough, the day before we left I SAW THEM AGAIN. Yep, they were so good I saw them TWICE in three days. There's just something about Maja and her sexy dancing, her awkward Swedish accent, and that she'll randomly throw swears out that's so appealing. Oh, that and Felix is kind of sexy. Don't get me wrong, there definitely artists I saw that were better musically and others that had more energy or had something really unique to offer but there's just something about the Sounds that no other artist can quite capture.

Honorable mentions:
Lykke Li: Another Swede who I saw twice and puts on a killer performance. I had my doubts about her but when I saw her at Lollapalooza, it was an instant "WOW."

Ellie Goulding: Speaking of instant wows at Lollapalooza, ELLIE GOULDING. I am OBSESSED with this woman. She's a talented musician and that carries over live. She even keeps her cool when unexpected things happen such as a fan dancing her way on stage and going for a boob grab.


The Joy Formidable: Another Lolla act. They are insane. The trio are all incredibly with the lead singer and guitarist, Ritzy, shredding like some sort of rock goddess on her guitar... which she then proceeded to bang repeatedly into a gong during their final song. And they had giant inflatable cats. What's not to love?!

The Head and the Heart: My big discovery at SXSW, these guys (and gal) create such such incredible harmonies that will either make you happy or drink a whole whiskey river to drown your sorrows. My adviser from work and I saw them on a whim and a recommendation from a friend (Thanks, Merrijoy!) and two songs in were ready to bring them to my school's campus.

BEST NEW ARTIST

Every year I discover countless new artists because I'm a whore... A music whore, that is. Some of them are awful and I hope they fall off the face of the earth and I never hear their noise again (Ke$hit, for example). Others remind me that there is hope for the future of music. The following artist exemplifies the latter.

ELLIE GOULDING

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, are friends with me on Facebook, talk to me, or spend a significant amount of time eavesdropping on me, you know that I'm obsessed with this woman. Obsessed probably is a strong enough word, to be honest. She is glorious in every way. First off, look at her. The woman is sexy as hell. You can't see her body in this picture but she runs five miles a day even when she's on tour so she's not just a pretty face. On a more musically relevant note, she is incredibly talented as well. She makes pop music but it doesn't sound like anything you'll hear from anyone else. Unlike so many pop musicians these days, she also plays a variety of instruments. And to top it off, she's great live. She was invited to play the royal wedding, the Nobel Peace Prize concert, AND the national Christmas tree lighting ceremony this past year. Oh and her cover of Elton John's "Your Song" topped the charts in the UK. Pretty impressive for someone who hasn't been around too long, right?

Honorable mentions:

The Naked and Famous: These guys are pretty great, too. They remind me a little of the New Pornographers but, in my opinion, better. They have a nice electronic/alternative sound and have both male and female vocalists which I find quite enjoyable in a band.

The Joy Formidable: I already sang their praises in the last honorable mentions but they really deserve it again. Their whole album, The Big Roar, is a fantastic female-fronted-but-still-has-more-balls-than-most-of-the-men-I-know rock powerhouse.

The Head and the Heart: These guys are fantastic live, fantastic musically, and fantastic people (They were all really nice when I met them).

SONG OF THE YEAR

This one and album of the year are by far the most important of all of my musical picks. One song that defines an entire year? Shit, that's a pretty hefty decision to make! And with so many great songs and strong releases by a huge variety of artists, there was a huge pool to pick from.

"WHIRRING" BY THE JOY FORMIDABLE

Awwww, look at how cute Ritzy, the lead singer of the Joy Formidable, is!! She's just an adorable English woman, probably a nurse or a teacher or something non-threatening, right? WRONG. You are so fucking wrong.

See how wrong you were?

Ritzy is the definition of badass. Simply being in her mere presence is like some sort of rock-and-roll religious experience. Her badass nature is especially apparent in"Whirring," a six minute rock opera, for lack of better words to describe this masterpiece. Remember earlier when I talked about her slamming her guitar into a gong during the final song of their Lolla set? Yeah, this was that song. Any song that evokes guitar slamming is a great song in my book. The song starts out with two minutes of Ritzy's vocals along with some great guitar playing but it gets REALLY great for the last portion when the singing stops and the song becomes one giant guitar solo. And I'm not talking your grandmother's guitar solo, assuming your grandmother was/is into music that includes a guitar solo. It's more like... Fuck it, just go listen to the song. Even if you've heard it before, go listen again. You'll see what I mean.

Honorable mentions:

"The No No Song" by the Sounds: For those who remember my halfway through 2011 best of list, this song was my pick for the best song so far (I hadn't heard "Whirring" at that point). It has everything I love in a song: Angry female vocals, synths, guitars, and sexy, sexy Swedes.

"Polish Girl" by Neon Indian: A friend sent this song to me a few months back and I've been listening to it non-stop ever since. It's got a really cool electronic beat and their lead singer's voice is like silk. If I could sex his voice, I would.

"Toes" by Lights: I love Lights. She's cute, has tattoos, and plays Zelda. Oh, and she's got a great voice and makes awesome indie pop music. This song was the first one I heard from her new album, Siberia, and it still is my favorite. It's a really cute crush song that very accurately describes the feeling of being interested in someone new.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

What's harder to do than make one great song? Make 10+ of them and put them all on the same record. Like I've said, 2011 was a great year in music. So which artist made the best collection of songs from the past 365 days?

"THE HEAD AND THE HEART" BY THE HEAD AND THE HEART

You should've seen this coming by the number of times I've mentioned them already. This band is fucking incredible. How my ears lived without them remains a mystery. Their self-titled debut is one of those rare albums that I like every song on it. Every song. There's not one that I feel so-so about or think really sucks. THEY'RE ALL GREAT. There are upbeat songs ("Cats and Dogs," "Ghosts") and mellow, low key ones ("Rivers and Roads," "Winter Song") to fit any mood, any life situation, anything you feel like listening to. If this album isn't in your music collection and this band not on your radar, you're missing out on what I'm confident will be one of the greatest bands of our time.

Honorable mentions:

"Metals" by Feist: For those are familiar with Feist, you'll recognize her distinctive sound on this album. However, she still continues to grow and explore new sounds and improve (as if that's possible) on previous work.

"Ceremonials" by Florence + The Machine: Yep, Florence's sophomore album is pretty great. She makes me question whether or not the sophomore slump is real. Give "Spectrum" a listen.

"Wounded Rhymes" by Lykke Li: Another indie pop gem. This album got Lykke a lot of well deserved press this year and it translates well live. Songs range from upbeat ("Get Some") to romantic ("I Know Places") to absolutely heart wrenching ("Unrequited Love").

"Departing" by the Rural Alberta Advantage: Ahhh, Canadians... How I love thee and your music. I saw these guys twice this year, too, and they were great. "Departing" is just as good as their first album. Nils' voice is very distinctive and unique and Amy and Paul are both great musicians.

"Catching a Tiger" by Lissie: I love Lissie and this album is fantastic. It's very rock filled and Lissie is a really kickass chick. She seems really cool, too.

MOST ANTICIPATED ALBUM OF 2012

2012 is already looking to be a great year for music and it hasn't even begun yet. So great, in fact, that I couldn't pick just one most anticipated album and need to pick two. Oh, that and my two favorite bands have albums due out in 2012.

NO DOUBT AND METRIC

Oh lord, I've been waiting for a new No Doubt album for about as long as I can remember. AND IT'S FINALLY, FINALLY GOING TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR. The band says that they've made significant progress and... I can't wait. I'm literally going to wait outside of the store to buy this album the day it comes out. I'll probably buy like six copies actually.

Metric... How they can follow up after "Fantasies" remains a mystery. However, I remain confident that they will made another impossibly great album. Emily recently said that the album is due out in April which means I should probably start saving up for possible trips to see them at various festivals. Oh, and that means that there's hope for my dream of them touring with No Doubt, right?!

Thus concludes my list for the year. I'm sure there's tons of music I missed but I'm only one person. Here's to 2011 and to an excellent 2012!

#40ThingsAboutMe Part 4

It's the final installment of my riveting blog series full of facts about yours truly! I know, everyone's sad.

31. Watermelon is one of my favorite foods.

32. Celebrities/pseudo-celebrities/bands I have met: Hilary Clinton, Al Franken, Metric, Chelsea Handler, Kenny from the Starting Line, most of Motion City Soundtrack, Hal Sparks, the lead singer of Metro Station, 4 of the members of Broken Social Scene, Hot Hot Heat, OK Go, the Sounds, the Head and the Heart... and others I can't think of right now.

33. I used to have 3000+ origami cranes hanging from my bedroom ceiling but they kept falling and it was too much work to keep up with rehanging them.

34. I find it incredibly annoying when people are like, "ZOMG, MY HOROSCOPE TOTALLY DESCRIBED MY DAY!!!" They're written so generically that they can apply to anyone. It's sad that people put such stock in a pseudo-science.

35. I eat a lot of spinach.

36. It really annoys me when people say things like, "I'm praying that someone goes and picks up my drunk friend so he doesn't have to drive!" Ummmmm... how about instead of relying on your invisible friend you go do it yourself if you're so concerned? Don't use religion as a crutch for laziness.

37. When I was younger, a friend tried to convince me she had diabetes. I believed her for a while until I saw her eat an entire bag of Skittles and she tried to convince me it was because she had "light switch diabetes" that could be turned on or off. Now I'm suspicious of people who tell me they have diabetes until they show me proof.

38. When I'm cooking, I tend to skip measuring things and just kind of approximate. It's less stressful and once you've been cooking enough it generally turns out alright.

39. Speaking of cooking, I can't make the following seemingly simple foods: cookies, pancakes, any sort of roux.

40. I really hate the name Jesse (for guys). I don't think I could ever date a guy with that name.

#40ThingsAboutMe Part 3

21. I have four tattoos and each one of them has special meaning to me.

22. I LOVE discovering new bands. Recently (read: yesterday) I discovered the Joy Formidable and I don't really understand how they managed to slip under my radar for so long. They're a hard rocking female fronted band. That's like a description of the music I like.

23. When I was in 4th grade, I read a scary story in a book of scary stories about a kid that poured vinegar down an anthill and the next day, he saw an anthill that spelled the word "HATE." Later that night, he woke up and was covered in ants. You can figure out what happened next. Even to this day and even though I'm generally more rational than that, I still get a slight rush of fear each time I step on an ant because I'm scared they will get me.

24. One of my lifetime goals is to live in a house with a secret passage.

25. In high school, my friend Molly and I used to play this game where we'd have someone name something random and we'd try to turn whatever they said into something dirty in less than 5 sentences. It got to the point where we'd be able to do it consistently in 2.

26. I can't watch other people go on Facebook because their Facebooking styles will drive me insane. I can't stand leaving friend requests, event invites, and notifications unresponded to.

27. I have a weird obsession with Canada... even though I've never been there. A lot of it has to do with the music that I listen to because a significant portion of my music is by Canadian artists. Also, everyone I've met from Canada with very few exceptions has been super fun, outgoing, warm, and friendly. I wish I could say that of more Americans.

28. I get really annoyed when I ask someone what kind of music they like and they respond with, "Everything!" or "Whatever's on the radio." First of all, no, you don't like all music. Everyone has music they don't like. Second, the reason most people ask what kind of music you like is to see if you have anything in common and responding with just "everything" gets you nowhere. Third, and this really only applies to the last one, but I find it really frustrating when people just listen to what they're told to listen to. There are a lot of great bands out there that you'll probably like that don't get mainstream radio exposure. Go discover what YOU actually like. If that happens to be on the radio, great. But if you're too lazy to actually discover what you like to listen to... we probably won't get along.

29. I wish I had gotten into snowboarding at a younger age. I'm still pretty awful and I feel like I've been doing it for long enough that I should be much better than I am.

30. I become attached to things too easily and it causes me a lot of angst.